They Shot The Roomba

..but they didn't shoot the scammer too...with pending apologies to Eric Clapton.

Actually, this post isn't really about Roomba vacuum cleaners getting shot.  But because it concerns an online email scammer, one never knows what I'll manage to work into the narrative.

And how long it will take the scammer to notice.

Here's how we start:

Dear sir/madam,

Let me start by introducing myself to you, My name is Mariam Abdul , I am writing this message to seek for your partnership., the civil war in my country Syria has affected my life so much. I lost my family two years ago.

My father was a rich business man before his death, he was doing oil & gas business, he had an oil company here in Damascus, Syria. He was also doing gold business.  He made a big money $25.3 Million US Dollar, the money is deposited with Emirates NBD Bank Dubai, UAE, but the parent bank is Sun Trust Bank in America, USA, where he does business,  I am the next of kin but I can not retrieve or return the money back to Syria because of the war in Syria.

Please I need you to assist me receive the money and we can agree for you to invest it, until I recover from my sickness and come over to meet with you over there in your country.

I want to appoint you as my partner and the Emirates NBD Bank Dubai, UAE,, will transfer the money to you. I will send to you all the documents and information for deposit of the money.

Please let me know if you can do this for me, this is my real story, please I need your help.

Kind Regards,

Mariam Abdul

please contact me on my private mail  mariamabdul5757@gmail.com

 

 

There's a civil war where?  

 

 

My father was a rich business man before his death, he was doing oil & gas business, he had an oil company here in Damascus, Syria. He was also doing gold business.  He made a big money $25.3 Million US Dollar, the money is deposited with Emirates NBD Bank Dubai, UAE, but the parent bank is Sun Trust Bank in America, USA, where he does business,  I am the next of kin but I can not retrieve or return the money back to Syria because of the war in Syria.  please let me know if you can help me in this my condition  

 

 

And what is your condition?  I'm not a doctor but once played one behind the garage with Wendy Jo.   

 

 the war in Syrian affected me so much i am an orphan, am sick I want a partner  who can assist me and receive this money that my father made once the money been transfer to your account we will sign a contract before starting an investment when i recover from my sickness I will come over to your country we will re-invest.  please let me know if you can help me and assist the money?    

What kind of assist does the money need?   

in Syria 

 

 

The money needs an assist in Syria?  What kind of an assist?  

 

 

Please, I need you to assist me to receive the money and we can agree as partners for you to invest on behalf of me until I recover from my sickness and come over to meet with you over there in your country.  

 

 

Oh...so you want me to assist YOU.  Why didn't you say so?

Just how sick are you?  Is your black and blue text an indication?  

 

 

I am very sick am about to undergo surgery, Thank you for understanding my situation.  i want you to help me and receive the money as my trustee partner then you can start investing in your country on behalf of me when I recover from my sickness I can come over and meet with you.  I waiting for your reply soon.  

 

 

Are you sure you want to start investing in THIS country at this particular time?  My gawd, the police are arresting and shooting roombas!  It may not be a good time.  Have you considered Liechtenstein?  

 

 

What do you mean???  

 

 

I mean that it's a bad time to be a Roomba around here.  A Roomba has never been shot in Liechtenstein.  Never in recorded history.  I foresee a great Roomba migration to Liechtenstein as a result.  Might be something therein with investment opportunities to consider.

 

 

Are you serious???  Are you have fun at me???  

 

 

Yes I am serious...this is my serious font.  No, I was talking about Roombas.  You aren't one...are you?  
 

 

if you won't help can you be able to get me an assistant, please I really need a trusted partner who can help me  


How about a Roomba?  Within their limits, they're pretty good assistants.  Long as you don't shoot them.  


Where is Roomba?  I need an assistant very bad much!  


Roomba isn't a where; it's a what.  Just the kind of assistant do you need very bad much?


Please can you do this for me this is my real story I need your assistant!  


And there you have it:  your real story is tailor-made for a Roomba.  Nothing will do for you like a Roomba; nothing.  


Are you help me or not???  


I did:  ROOMBA. That is your one and only hope.  That is your only reason for BEING.  That is your soul and inspiration.  Forget the gun AND the cannoli:  ROOMBA, baby.  Roomba.  Who should I say is calling when you've made the only decision you'll ever need?


After that, the scammer didn't seem to relish any further repartee here.

 

Perhaps she WAS a Roomba....and mebbe they DO shoot them in Syria.