An Email From Justice?

With the card at the right attached to the email, this was supposed to convince my character that I was actually hearing from THE United States Attorney General, William Barr.

No, not about the Muell's overpriced and nothing-burger report about the faked Russian collusion story.

No, like so many others out there, he wants to give my character money.

For a nominal fee:


       Department of Justice
                U.S. Department of Justice
       950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20530-0001                                 Re-conciliation Letter.

I am very sorry my late response in contacting you because ever since
i resume this office on 14th February 2019 as the new US Attorney General i
was bothered to contact you regarding the abandon files by Loretta E. Lynch
which she did not complete before leaving the office.

From the records and files i have been going through here, i found out
that you are suppose to receive a total sum of $10.5 million dollars
which the United Nation has approve for you since 4 years now but due
to requesting of unnecessary fees from you that keeps the fund
delayed and not denied from you because i am working in a Godly way
and i will ensure every one receives his/her fund now.

Today, i have contact the United Nation to know if the ATM VISA CARD
they programmed for you is still active for you because i do not want
to send you an empty or useless CARD that will not work but the UN
Secretary General told me that the ATM VISA CARD is still active till
2025.

I have make an arrangement in sending the ATM VISA CARD to you through
express delivery which will only take few hours for you to receive it
but you are  required to send FILE RENEWAL FEE of $100 so that your payment file
will be renewed as alive beneficiary and the delivery will commence
immediately.  


Dang .. when even the US Attorney General -- the top law enforcer in the land -- wants to scam me for non-existent money ... my character am someone!

So what does my character go and do?  A little creative edit, and just ruin the whole game:


From: Little Willy Barfartzbah muca.rezarta011@gmail.com
Sent: Friday, March 22, 2019 9:16 PM
Subject: Department of Justice Has Openings For Gender Neutral Yak Inseminators -- Hurry While Supplies Last

 
                 Department of Justice
                U.S. Department of Justice               USA Department of Justice

    United States of America Department of Justice

                      ....you get the picture
       950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20530-0001

                                The Mueller Report

                 ..coming to Broadway as soon as 2020..

I am very sorry my late response in contacting you because ever since
i assumed this badly mismanaged office thanks to Barack Obola and

the pack of abject morons he turned loose in here, I've been wiping

the whole place down with antiseptic wipes.

What a mess.  Doesn't help when Bela Pelosi leaks botox every time

she stumbles through enroute to the bar.  Or -- as she prefers -- her

"pharmacy".

At any rate, the whole world now knows that the witch hunt is over.

I have the complete report from that retired fossil, Robert Mueller.

He's taking an extended break in an undisclosed location so that

the suicide note he found written by 'him' on Hellary's server doesn't

get a chance to become prophesy.

Meantime...the report, it makes for bed time reading.  Every time I start,

I nod off.

What I can't tell you from the report, I can't tell you:  it's redacted.

And judging from the thickness of the redaction, it pertains to the

only broom rider that's been sleazing around two elections the

past 11 years.  Five will get you ten you know whom that references.

What it does tell us is this:

-the current POTUS did not collude with Boris and Natasha to

undermine moose and squirrel, elections, erections or Wishbone

Russian salad dressing.

-there might be dubious circumcised evidence in a dossier sent

him by a pack of college feminists at Berkeley that claims the

POTUS did conspire with an asteroid to waste the dinosaurs

75 million years ago so that today's oil companies would

have something to profit from millennia later, but that's

been left to the DNC to dig into.  They'll try anything at this

point.

-the Cortez broad really does have a single digit IQ.

-that's not Harry Potter on ms13nbc, much as it looks like him.

-Jim Acosta is a whiny twit.  All that time to state the obvious?

-$40 million US taxpayer dollars didn't buy what the dems

and Sharpai Soros were sure it would buy.

-Adam Schiff will need therapy...lots of it.  It won't help.

-joining him will be Rosie O'Donnell, Kathy Griffin, all of the

staph at cnn, Mitt Romney and John Kasich.  Same end.

-Opus from Bloom County was named in the report as the

cartoon penguin most likely to get a date with Megyn Kelly

since she has nothing else to do at the moment and Bill the

Cat has a hairball with her name on it.

-the streets of San Crapcisco are covered in...yeah, that.

-"is" still means whatever Bill Clinton needs it to.

-pantaloons are not peculiar ducks.

-Maxine Waters is a parody of that Cortez broad.

-the announced POTUS candidates for the dems in

2020 represent the smallest intellectual talent pool

since a tree stump was elected to the House of Commons

before the Revolution.

-it truly IS possible for The View to suck this bad

while not picking up anything.

From the records and files i have been going through here, i also
found out that you had the option of a working brain or packing

peanuts, and chose the latter.  Small wonder you're a democrap.

Today, i have contact the United Nation and given them your name

in vain because they'll not know what's up; I gave it to them in

Klingon kanji script.  The suckretary genital there was not amused.

Though it's beneath my secretary -- and she's beneath me just now

-- I have make an arrangement in sending random perverse texts to

the first 5,000 people on Twitter that are pissed because the report

doesn't do what they wet themselves to sleep every night hoping it

would do.  You too can receive these texts for the quite low and

ridiculous fee of $100 so that your name doesn't magically appear

in this report and have that cue-balled nincompoop Stelter at

cnn actually try to think he's smarter than you are.

A door knob is smarter than he is, but I digress.

Please take note that I am just new to this office and i want my work
and service to be excellent so that i will be recorded as one of the
best Atturkey Genital so far in the US History.  Actually, after Holder

and Lynch f**ked this place up, an inflatable sex toy can put the

both of them to shame and make a historical impact.  But don't

send $100 in care of the inflatable sex toy at the Department.

No, instead adhere to the Western Union or Money Gram and send

the only requested fee with this information.

Receivers Name:   Andrew Fecklepudd Twatwaffles
Address:    Basement of DNC, Washedupton, DC 20222
MTCN:.....
Sender's Name:...
Sender's Address:...

Please ensure you get back to me with the payment information of the
$100 because I need to see if you sent it per my instructions, or to see

if some jackinarps f**ked with this email and undermined my whole

ploy here.

Alternatively if you have the IQ of that Cortez broad and therefore you

are clueless how to use Western Union or Money gram, you can go to

any Wal-Mart Store or CVS Pharmacy and get Amazon to have a drone

spy on your neighbor butt-boinking his goat.

YouTube always likes crap like that.

Finally, sequel the information i got also from Home land security and
the FBI which states that Peter Strzok had sex with a Yugo during the

Hellary email kerfuffle, it was inadvertently learned that you have been

or are potentially dealing with dubious antecedents that know other

antecedents of equal dubiousness that are selling purloined Russian

Viagra and thereby are interfering in other people's erections.  That is

bad, very very bad.  Please stop any further communication with any

one and just instead pull my finger.

 I heard that the sound sends that Cortez broad into sphincter convulsions.

Thanks for not reading this email too closely!

Regards.
Willy Barfartzbah 
US Atturkey Genital

"In this position, I can dick with anyone!"

 

 What comes as no surprise, the faux US AG didn't see fit to reply to this edit. But it's very possible my character's name will now appear in Mueller's final report...