A Bad Scam A Worse Reply II

History repeats.

My pet rock, Seymour, saw the following scam email from a Lt. Colonel Robinson and had what he considered to be a creative *TOING* totally unique to him:


Confidential / Lt. Col James Robinson

Hello and Greetings to you

I am Lt. Col. James Robinson, commander, USA Airforce, military base in Syria.

Can you work with me on a confidential business deal?  It will require you to help me receive huge funds and military uniform out of Syria and Afghanistan to your Country and place. I will provide you with details if you are willing and interested.

First, you will be very well financially compensated.

Secondly, if you will love to move your family in the future to America, I can help you relocate to America.

Your religion does not matter to me. Only trust and honesty.

I have two sons but my wife is late.

Get back to me for details if you can work with me.

James   

Among other things, Seymour considers himself something of a song-writing lyricist with no peers.

I don't see how that's possible, since so many song writers out there are stoned at the time.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!"


At any rate, Seymour begged me to let him answer this scam letter.  So I did.

And Seymour, he says he came up with a "whole new, never-before-heard song", in both tune and lyrics.  Which he proudly allowed me to peruse.

Enter my own recognition *TOING*

While the lyrics did intermix some originality with parody, the tune was well known from my love of music from the 1960s.

"Is NOT!!!  This is never-before-heard stuff!  PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"

When shown this picture, Seymour gave me a blank stare:

Which was understandable, so I found the right picture:

To Seymour's blank stare was added "who are they?"

Who indeed.

With no further coo coo adieu, see how Seymour responded to the scammer in parodious fashion:


De, de de-de de-de, de-de de-de, de de-de
Po, po po-po po-po, po-po po
De-de de-de de de de-de de de de-de de

And here's to you, Colonel Robinson
you're a bigger douche than you could know
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Oh f**ing please, Colonel Robinson
Is this the f**king best that you can do?
Poo poo poo, do be do

We'd like to know a little bit about your three brain cells
We'd like to shove this scam square up your ass
Ask around and find you're really f**king bad
Scroll around the 'net you'll see you really suck

And here's to you, Colonel Robinson
you're a bigger douche than you could know
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Oh f**ing please, Colonel Robinson
Is this the f**king best that you can do?
Poo poo poo, do be do

Find a little hiding place where no one else can go
Up your ass just where your head's tucked
Not a little secret, just the Colonel's crappy lair
Most of all, you'll prolly share it with the Dems

Kookoo AaCHOO, Colonel Robinson
you're a bigger douche than you could know
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Oh f**ing please, Colonel Robinson
Is this the f**king best that you can do?
Poo poo poo, do be do 

Picking at your backside on a Sunday afternoon
Scamming at the internet cafe
Doesn't matter which template their telling you to use
Doesn't matter what you send, you lose

Where have you gone, Mrs Abacha?
Nigeria turns its crossing eyes to you
Woo, woo, woo
What's that you say, Colonel. Robinson?
Ol' Mariam has lost her scam today
Hey hey hey, heck darn poo

What comes as no surprise, the scammer had nothing more to say after receiving this.  Seymour hisself may yet receive a reprimand from lawyers for Simon and Garfunkel.

"Will NOT!!!  But get their autograph if they do.."

*TOING*