Seymour Edits Again

As 2019 approaches, nothing's changed.

And the lamestream servile mediocres that kiss the Left's ass, continue to seek any excuse they can to explain how Hellary lost.

All while they avoid the obvious truth that over 63 million voters know:  Hellary sucked.

My pet rock, Seymour, loves to peruse the news.  And on this particular day, it didn't take him long to find what he was looking for:  another "why Hellary lost" excuse; this one from NBC.

It's third party non-entity Jill Stein's fault.

Yeah, there was actually a couple other nobodies running in 2016.  And now one of them is the latest excuse for NBC to run with 'Russians helping Trump win' stupidity.

Seems that NBC isn't satisfied to let cnn hug the bottom of the outhouse pit of credibility; they want a piece of that bottom, too.

Leave it to Seymour to try again to win a Pulitzer with his effort to help them out:


NBC now says Jill Stein is why Hellary lost and recounts all the ways it make sense to them and them alone
By Seymour PetRock -- WTFNS
12/23/18

In the latest pathetic effort to explain why Hellary Clinton lost in 2016, NBC News has dredged up one of the more laughable theories to explain it, by floating the premise that failed presidential candidate Jill 'Franken' Stein might have inadvertently played a substantial role in what cnn has been trying to convince anyone with more than three working brain cells was a Russian conspiracy to defeat former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton. 

A Russian troll farm called the We Troll Hellaryski.commie Agency worked diligently to bolster an assortment of floundering third party campaigns ahead of the 2016 presidential election, NBC posted Saturday. The outlet analyzed a Dec. 17 report made up by a staffer for a late Senator, which was sold to MI 6, doctored by the DNC, placed on Hellary's home email server where it could be hacked by the Chinese, and sold to Wiki leaks in exchange for Tide Pods to be sold to American millennials for YouTube videos.  

This report – along with an increasing list of unhinged comments by Hank Johnson (Dumbass) GA about Guam capsizing – detailed the extent to which hallucinogens were being utilized by leftist media outlets in the US during the election.

An NBC analysis using cnn-approved Common Core math substandards as their measuring dipstick, believes that Liechtensteinian marmots trained by Fox News operatives were working in concert with aliens from Uranus who'd been paid by CU-Berkeley inactivists to work under the direction of the troll farm. In this arrangement, the nefarious coalition spent many hours on TWITter and Faceplant, tweeting and posting phrase like “Jill Stein snorts the banana”, “Hellary is the devil bunnies the Beatles sang about backwards”, “We have to elect Trump to find out what's in it”, and “Pelosi's getting high on door knobs” more than 1,000 times during the election.
The report, which was conducted by ms13nbc's San Crapcisco 'Fake News' burro, found the campaign targeted mostly registered dead people, cartoon characters, and fire plugs in democrap-controlled locations. 

Clit Oritis, an NBC analyst living in his parents basement between Antifa riots in Portland, told reporters that NBC’s decision to lean in toward blaming Stein in such a laughable manure should not be that surprising. NBC conducted focus groups among triggered college millennials in Kaliforlornia, which the CIA believes are complete and total dunderheads of the lowest order of intellect, and found more than 10,000 of them have single-digit IQs. 

“Is constipation the ultimate form of anal retention?” he asked, rhetorically. “I don’t know, but even after tiptoeing through the streets of San Crapcisco, it appears not enough retention is being practiced. This was a post-election poop for..well...someone.”  

In an unrelated aside, Stein sought #GoFundMe contributions to keep her name in the news cycle at least a few weeks more after the election. 

NBC then went on to recount Stein’s decision to sit with Russian President Vladimir Putin at the head table of an WTF anniversary dinner in December 2015, discussing how Putin could finally get his hands on Moose 'n Squirrel. The Green Party presidential candidate told reporters at the time that she traveled to Moscow to talk about climate change at Chappaqua, since it was found that every time Hellary walked past a thermostat, the heat kicked on. 

There is significant doubt among anyone with more than four working brain cells about the theory floated by abject nincompoops at NBC. At cnn and ms13nbc – where a fourth working brain cell is not to be found – pundits like Wolf Blitzed are said to be having anal orgasms over the theory.  

Seymour -- in his quest to achieve a Pulitzer -- thinks that this might put him over the top.  I'm pretty sure this will not get him past a Pull My Fanger award.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"