Poof...You're a Smellcaster

Nothing like getting a scam spell caster email solicitation on the eve of Halloween.

Makes the edit really easy.

This spell caster also claims to be a bona fide 'witch'.

Is this what Hellary's been reduced to doing after losing in '16?

LOL...at any rate, here's the ploy:

GENUINE SPELLCASTER!
My  speciality is love spells!I customise all my spells for my clients!
Just send me an email telling me your current situation, and I will divise
a spell to fit your circumstances

DON'T WORRY, YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NOT YOUR FUTURE SITUATION.

I am  ASHRA KOEHN an Akychi Spell Master and witch my whole life. Devoted
to spell casting the most powerful spells known in spell casting, I seek to
help you!

Everything ordered comes with a guarantee. I personally do the spell
casting in my temple and there is no need to visit me. I look forward to
personally helping you.
Let me soothe your heartache today and ease your mind.
Its been a goal of mine to give each client the highest level of success
and service possible with any spell. Through this many people will start to
learn about God again and perhaps realize that their is a true Divine
intervention out there that is willing to help you. You need but only ask
and it shall be done.
Spell casting/ Witchcraft is an art that must be cultivated and perfected
to be effective to change another's situation for the better! I have spent
many years cultivating my art, so I can safely say with confidence, MY
SPELLS WORK FAST!

Magic is in everyone and everything, every living thing has an energy
field, a magical vibration which is used in witch spells. For a love spell
to work you need to know what you want, the more certain you are, the
better; if you are unsure what it is you are after then results might be
vague, as there will be no real direction. If you are madly in love with
someone, your love spell will be extremely potent!

I customise all of my love spells because a personal love spell that fits
your situation perfectly is going to work so much faster than one that
covers every love problem under the sun, that simply wastes time and
energy. Therefore, whether you write to me first or know exactly which
spell or spells you want me to cast I will need you to tell me about your
current situation and the outcome you want - this information will be
analysed by me psychically then I will personalise your love spell... and
all you will have to do is wait for your results to appear!
What I do know, is my SPELLS WORK!
WHEN YOU ARE READY FOR REAL RESULTS!  CONTACT ME!!  


My pet rock, Seymour, doesn't like to edit spellcasters; he's afraid they'll turn him into a kumquat or something.

"Am NOT!!!!  PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!"

But Seymour DID provide the idea for the edit:


Subject: Genuine Smell Caster!!!

 

My speciality is casting smells!I customise all my smells for my clients!
Just send me an email telling me your current situation, and I will divise
a smell to upend your circumstances

DON'T WORRY, YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES WON'T BE ONCE I FART

YOU A SPECIAL SMELL.

I am  ASHRA KOEHN an Akychi Smell Master and witch my whole life. Devoted
to smell casting the most powerful smells known in smell casting, I seek to
envelope you in the most disgusting miasmas knowd!

Everything with an odor comes with a guarantee. I personally do the smell
casting in my temple and there is no need to visit me. Most folks what know

what I do in my temple wish never to visit me there, for it is always the

most potent at the source.  I look forward to personally imagine you gagging

and gasping in the miasma of my smells.

 

Let me foul you as only I can.  Its been a goal of mine to give each client the 

most rancid flatulence a witch of my anal proficiency can.  Through this many

people tried and many people died, and now are buried together on the

countryside.  10..20..30..40..50 or more...The Bloody Fartbaron, keeps

running up the score...80 clowns died, trying to buy a smell, from the

Bloody Fartbaron, of Witchery.

Smell casting/ Witchphfft is an art that must be cultivated and perfected
to be effective to impact another! I have spent many years cultivating my 

farts, so I can safely say with confidence, MY SMELLS WORK FAST!

Flatulence is in everyone and everything, every living thing has an energy
field, a miasmic vibration which is used in witch smells. For a smell
to work you need to know what you want, the more certain you are, the
better; if you are unsure what it is you are after then results might be
vague, as there will be no real direction. If you are mad and eat the

right ingredients, my smell to you will be extremely potent!

I customise all of my smells because a personal smell that fits
your situation perfectly is going to work so much faster than one that
covers every possible stench under the sun, that simply wastes time and
energy. Therefore, whether you write to me first or know exactly which
smell or smells you want me to cast I will need you to tell me about your
current situation and the outcome you want - this information will be
analysed by me psychically then I will personalise your smell... and
all you will have to do is wait for your results to attack you in an

elevator or other closed space!
What I do know, is my SMELLS WORK!
WHEN YOU ARE READY FOR REAL RESULTS!
CONTACT ME!  

 

 

Just as my pet rock feared, the smell caster was not enamored of the edit:

 

 

you are wrong to make little of me  i can cast on you spell of ill if that is you wish

 

 

Give it your best fart there, Smell Caster!

 

 

Seymour is in hiding, and fully expects to see me looking like a flying monkey or something....