Sunday, July 8, 2018

The Pet Rock Edits Antifa

My pet rock, Seymour, just learned that Antifa -- a collection of malignant malcontents seeking chaos at any price -- are now mad at some of their ideological substandard brethren in the Democrapic Socialists of 'Murica.

Cuz most of them didn't stick around to get arrested at a recent protest in Dallas, Texas.

All together now...awwwwwwwww.

*snort guffaw snicker ROAR*

That was enough for my "editing gone wild" pet rock to take pen in appendage -- only an extraordinary pet rock can do that -- and help Antifa's cause in print.  Not:


UH-OH: Antifa Feuding With Democratic Socialists Over Who Smelled Worse When Cops Showed Up

"After sniffing the DSA leadership the pigs arrested us..."


By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS
July, 2018


Members of the genitally-stunted group Antifa are now feuding with members in the "Democratic Socialists of 'Murica," after the socialists abandoned a protest against the obola Administration's immigration policies Saturday, leaving Antifa members to the mercy of people “too clean to be remotely affiliated with Antifa” – aka, local law enforcement.

According to anonymous sources at cnn, desperate to make up something for Anderson Pooper, Antifa members now say they were "accused of stinking worse than the DSM" , whom they now accuse of actively getting preferential treatment from the Dallas Police Department.

“@DSM_NorthTexas leadership decided to pull their people from the demo leaving illegals and us at risk of arrest,” a local Antifa group sniveled Monday, WTFNS reports.

“After sniffing the DSM leadership – and then catching a whiff of us (Antifa) – Dallas Police moved in after DSM left,” Antifa continued to snivel. “All the DSM pussies followed their leadership. None were even arrested. When arrested, we reached out to DSM's Jail Support function and got 404 messages. They offered no support to us.”

Awwwww...that's a tough break.

According to a local news source, the trouble started when Dallas Police arrived at an Antifa/DSM road block to leading to an Immigration and Customs Enforcement office in Dallas, Texas. The protest was small — only a few dozen twerps — so it seems Antifa was able to immediately identify demonstrators who weren't affiliated with their group by the smell. And vice-versa.

“They smelled like dead goats!” complained one member of DSM. Antifa's response was “oh...YEAH? Well, YOU smell like...uh...LIVE GOATS!” This resulted in an amused Dallas Police Department standing by while smell analogies flew to and fro between Antifa and the DSM. When finally an Antifa intellectual yelled at DSM “well..YOU ALL SMELL LIKE TRUMP SUPPORTERS”, the DSMs decided that was it and they left...leaving DPD to don masks and arrest all the dead-goat-smelling Antifans.

All of the protesters who were arrested quickly made bail – jailers couldn't bear the smell – but it doesn't seem anyone in either group is interested in quickly making amends. Or cleaning up.


Seymour did get a letter from the Goat Herders of America, protesting the demeaning of goats by lumping them with Antifa.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT" or something akin, was the official response.


 

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