Thursday, December 7, 2017

The FBI Gets Thinged

I suspect that the scammer had no knowledge of The Addams Family when he writ and sent this scam to my character:


Federal Bureau of Investigation
Department Of Just ice,
FBI New York 26 Federal Plaza 23rd
Floor, New York 10278-0005.
OFFICIAL LETTER FROM THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ( FBI )WASHINGTON DC.
Attention: Fund Beneficiary,
This will be the first and last we the entire FBI Head Office will remind you about this issue, because it has been long and I believe by now you have got this below message at least more than 4 times still you haven't respond.
Note; The grace given to you as a legal Beneficiary has expired,therefore you are entitled to contact this apex office of the FBI which has been taken care of your fund, or will be directed to the Police Interpol of your Country. Once again, this is a last warningto you because there is no way you should abandon your BOX here in the airport because of Custom required fee $225 which you were later allow you to pay half of it as of now, while the remaining half will be paid as soon as you get your fund.
Contact us via ( 360-986-5348 ) and also email us with the code ; ( NY/fbi-0128 ) For Security Reason.
Reconfirm us the bellow information:
Full name..........
Address............
Mobile number......
Occupation.........
Warning Late Response Will Cost You Another Thing. 


My character never had one Thing, let alone the thought of getting another.


Feeling rather peculiar at this time, I thought it appropo that I let my pet rock, Seymour, handle the edit duties for a letter from the FBI:


Federal Burrito of Investigation
Department Of Just Ice,
FBI New York 26 Federal Plaza
23rd Floor
New York 10278-0005.
UNOFFICIAL LETTER FROM THE FEDERAL BURRITO OF INVESTIGATION ( FBI )WASHINGTON DC.
Attention: 
This will be the first but hardly the last we the entire FBI Hindquarters Orifice will remind you about this issue, because it has been long and winding road full of pot holes and road kill and road apples and all that country shit they sing about and I believe by now you
have got this below message at least more than 4 times even though I said it was the first
but I'm full of shit like the rest of us here in this entire FBI Hindquarters Orifice, and yet still
you haven't respond.

You want us to indict you with crimes against enchiladas?

Note; The grace given to you as a Benedictine monk has expired, therefore you are require
to contact this pox of an orifice of the FBI which has been taken care of violating your stuffed
animals, or this matter will be directed to the Police Interpol of your dubious antecedence. Once
again, this is your first last warning to you because there is no way we can keep track of this shit
very the much longer, wider, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you fart.  And death farts are
grotesquely gnarly, I assure you. 
Should you should your BOX here in the airport -- I think I meaned leave but this English shit is
all Grecian formula to me -- Custom required fee of $225 which you were supposed to pay is still
unpaid and that really fucking frosts us here in this entire FBI orifice.
Do you think that WE pay for our own donuts?  You slack genitaled douche canoe!  We are the
entire FBI Hindquarter orifice and we tell you that not...NOT...abso-fucking-lutely NOT how it
the thing works!
Contact us via ( 360-986-5348 ) and also email us with the code ( NY/fbi-WTF) because we'll
orgasm if you do.  Twice on Sunday.
Reconfirm us the bellow information because we was too stupid to write it down last times:
Full name..........
Address............
Mobile number......
Occupation.........
Warning:  a late Response Will Cost You Another Thing.  What kind of thing we don't yet know
but we're working on that, on this you can bet at 3-2 with times 10 the points on Thursdays.

We are FBI..bum ba dum bum bum bum bum!

I'm not surprised the FBI didn't respond, busy as they are digging out from under the embarrassment caused them by Mueller and Comey's corruption with Hellary...but Farmers wasn't happy my pet rock appropriated their theme music.

"Were TOO!!!  PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!"

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

The FBI used to mean something special. Now, not so much.

Have a fabulous day, Mike. My best to Seymour and Element. ☺

07 December, 2017 10:15  

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