A Note To Whiny Hollyweird Celebs

Amy Schumer and a number of her malfunctioning pals are now confronted with putting their moving boxes where their mouths are.

Uh huh.

In some ways, I'm as surprised that Donald Trump won.  In a conversation with a Libertarian friend of mine in the fall of 2015, he asked me if I thought Trump had a chance of getting even the Republican nomination.

I didn't say "when cows fly", but I might as well have.  I flat didn't see it happening. 

Nor did I really believe that it would happen, until late on the evening of Election Night, when Ohio went decisively for Trump.

I began looking for a cow-resistant umbrella.

Personally, I considered this the strangest election in my life time, with two of what I considered the weakest, unethical candidates this nation could have settled on.  At one point I referred to it as The Clown Vs The Corrupt, Unlikeable Clinton.  And while I was sure that had the results gone as George Soros, the media and 48 or so percent of the electorate believed it would -- and it was going to be bad -- I can't say that I'm totally sure it's going to be so much better this way.

Though I confess that I'm not sorry that Hellary lost and so many of the pundits went to bed with faces smeared in humble pie.

That all said...I heard an assorted and sundry collection of so called "celebrities" proclaiming that if Trump won, they were leaving the USA.  We've heard that before.  Alec Baldwin was leaving if Dubya won.

He's still here, imitating Trump on SNL.  

My own answer to all those celebs -- these pictured, and more -- was for them not to let the door hit them in the ass on the way out.

But someone on Failbook came up with something even better, and posted it for public sharing.

So I am doing so here:

Julian Kolicci "Dear Hollywood celebrities,

You exist for my entertainment. Some of you are great eye candy. Some of you can deliver a line with such conviction that you bring tears to my eyes. Some of you can scare the crap out of me. Others make me laugh. Many of you make fabulous salaries far beyond anything I'll ever earn for doing it. But you all have one thing in common: you only have a place in my world to entertain me.

That’s it.

You make your living pretending to be someone else. Playing dress up like a 6 year old. You live
in a make believe world in front of a camera. And often when you are away from one too. Your entire existence depends on my patronage.

I’ll crank the organ grinder; you dance.

I don’t really care where you stand on issues. Honestly, your stance matters far less to me than that of my neighbor. You see, you aren’t real. I turn off my TV or shut down my computer and you cease to exist in my world. Once I am done with you, I can put you back in your little box until I want you to entertain me again.

Don't whine; you live large off my patronage.

I don’t care that you think the BP executives deserve the death penalty. But I bet you looked cute saying it.

And you? Really? I’m supposed to care what the director of fluffy tripe made for gullible people thinks about global warming or gun control? Get back into your bubble. I’ll let you know when I’m in the mood for something blue and shiny.

And I'm also supposed to care that you will leave this great country if Trump becomes president? Ha. Please don't forget to close the door behind you. We'd like to reserve your seat for someone who loves this country and really wants to be here.

Make me laugh, or cry. Scare me. But realize that the only words of yours that matter are scripted. I might agree with some of you from time to time, but it doesn’t matter. In my world, you exist solely for my entertainment.

Whine, threaten to leave...you're nothing but an act to me. And your empty threats are nothing but words someone else put there for you to mouth. If you leave, it'll be as if you were never here in my world. Because unless it's on a TV, ipod, computer or mobile device, you're only here in my reality-based world as entertainment. And if you go, there's plenty more entertainment where you came from that I'm happy to replace you with.

Entertainment more mature than you're acting.  

Whatever a Trump Administration brings in the year and more ahead, anyone who wants to leave because he won, should simply shut up and do so.

None of them will be missed here.  Any more than the flying cow that missed falling on me...