Celine Solution

This may or may not be Celine Ismael as she actually looks.

I'm leaning toward not.

Anyway, Celine sent my character this:

How are you today?
I am Ms.Celine Ishmael I work with the central bank of Africa.
I verify from your fund transfer file here in our bank custody that some corrupt bank staff in Africa has ganged to divert your fund into a different bank account that is not your bank account which there have already get some part of your fund transferred into a different bank , 

I also verify that there has been asking you to pay to pay money which there are using to pouches the fund back up documents in there own favor. 

Dear friend as a young lady  I like a risk free business to build my better future  therefore my interest in this mater is to help you get your fund transferred into your receiving bank account in other to have a Good reword from you once you confirms your fund there in your receiving bank account, 

Listen I think it will be good for you to get back to me with you full information’s and I promise not to fail you I must have to do all I can to get the corrupt bank officers arrested by the bank authorities and trust me to confirm your fund alert in your account but you must have to tell me worth will be my % once you get your fund transferred
Thank,   

I have plenty on my plate just now, so I had my character respond thus:

I don't have any accounts with the Central Bank of Africa.  I never have.   They don't give free toaster ovens for new accounts.  

 

 

And that nets me proof that Ms Ismael is another comprehension FAIL:

 

Thanks for your respond.

Please delay .I want you to contact the foreign remittance unit there will give you the full details of the fund and don’t hesitate to forward conversations with them as to directs you on worth next to do to avoid mistake  further

Dear friend I am just a young lady I find this transaction risk free that is the reason why I volunteer my self to help you supporting you financially to get the fund transferred into your receiving bank account without hitch but you must not betray me along  by running away with the fund after it has been confirmed transferred into your receiving bank account, my parentage must be given to me after the transfer is done,

BELOW HERE IS THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT CONTACT:

Directors name {ERIK AKIN 

Office contact E-mail bf_fundtransferdepartment@outlook.fr

Contact the office immediately with anurans massage for them to urgently attend to you and get back to me once you heir from the remittance office
Thanks   

Note that she inadvertently wrote "please delay".  That caused me a *TOING*like oh what the hell:


Okay.  How LONG should I delay per your instructions?  


Her "bank" -- Bank of Africa, Bank Fund Transfer Department -- proves no better at comprehension or spelling:

Good day,
Quirkily reconfirm to us your personal and bank account information’s which we will use to obtain your fund back up document from the ministry of finance here on your behalf,
Report back to us immediately with the required information’s
Thank for being with us  

 

Using faux bank account information from a previous scammer, how can my character respond BUT quirkily:

 

I shall do this as quirkily as possumbull:

Bank of AmeliaEarhardt

7215 W. Manchester Avenue

Los Angeles CA 90021

Account:  **********

Routing:  ********* 


Unfortunately, someone in this collection of bozoids was able to not only read English, but to figure out that my character was messing with them, as this is the last thing my character would hear from there:

jerk off  


My 'jerk' has an 'on' switch too.  Wanna test it?  


Ah reckon not...so much for that celine solution.