One Of North Korea's Subs Is Missing
Seems the North Koreans have lost a submarine.
After Seymour got done with the edit, small wonder:
North Korea Says North Korean Submarine Isn't Missing. They Just Can't Find It
By Seymour PetRock -- WTFNS
Warshingtown (WTFNS) North Korea sank one of its own submarines this week and tried to cover it up by claiming that Liechtenstein “took it”, one and two-thirds U.S. officials familiar with the latest information told WTFNS.
A military analyst with Comedy Central had been observing the submarine operate off North Korea's east coast in six feet of water when the vessel found a 1000 foot hole and sank like a stone to the bottom of it.
The contractor was unable to convince Kim Jong Un that a submarine is meant to work under water.
On Thursday, the South Korean military said that North Korea fired two test missiles that were meant as “a warning” to Seoul, but that wound up blowing up a house of prostitution in Wonsan. They were fired from North Hwanghae province, south of Pyongyang, toward the sea east of the Korean Peninsula, and “went askew” the South Korean Joint Chiefs of Staff said.
Officials in Liechtenstein – not having access to the sea – are dumbfounded by the accusations from North Korea.
“Das claimen by das North Korean government ist flieger schiesse undt das ravingks of das hundsfott” an official from Liechtenstein said, we think.
North Korea on Sunday warned it would make more submarines and KGAG reported that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un had demanded more screen doors on the top hatches of future boats.
"As of now, there have been no more North Korean subs going to sea with screen door hatches, but we are planning to continuously strengthen surveillance," a South Korean Defense Ministry spokesman said.
"A script is ready and I have a song soro arready to go," Kim said, according to the KGAG.
While Pyongyang often issues silly statements, "this year the level of anger at not being taken seriously after losing a submarine because it had a screen door on top is much greater," says Duk Chow Ping, a former msnbc janitor and the author of "1000 Ways That Kim Jong Un Is A Doo Doo Head."
While the US State Department is not happy with my pet rock's editing acumen, he simply points out that they can't even manage an email server.