Monday, March 7, 2016

Political Incorrectness In The Scam Woild

I bet that poor alien needs an memory scrub now.

And for once I don't digress.

Another scammer with the old, overused template that she's dying and wants to leave her ill-gotten wealth to me to do God's work.

The ill-gotten part is where I didn't digress.

Anyway, here is her ploy:

Dear Beloved,

I am Mrs Armel Ryan and i have been suffering from ovarian cancer disease and the doctor says that i have just few days to leave. I am from (Paris) France, but based in Africa Burkina Faso since eight years ago as a business woman dealing with gold exportation and Sales.

Now that i am about to end the race like this, without any family members and no child. I have $3.1 Million US DOLLARS in ECONOMIC BANK OF AFRICA (ECO BANK ) Burkina Faso which i instructed the bank to give St Andrews Missionary Home in Burkina Faso. But my mind is not at rest because i am writing this letter now through the help of my computer beside my sick bed.

I also have $7.9 Million US Dollars at African Development-Bank ( A.D.B) there in Burkina Faso and i instructed the bank to transfer the fund to you as a foreigner that will apply to the bank after i have gone, that they should release the fund to him/her,but you will assure me that you will take 50% of the fund and give 50% to the orphanages home in your country for my heart to rest.

Respond to me immediately for further details since I have just few days to end my life due to the ovarian cancer disease, hoping you will understand my point

Yours fairly friend,
Mrs Armel Ryan.  

"Yours fairly friend"?  Alrighty then.

I think that this edit will do, and will keep me from having digressed too much, too:

Dearly Beloved,
We are gathered here in the presence of this goat poking suck egg mule and a camel, to witness that which only The Gong Show or Howard Stern could get away with before the internet.
Be that as it may, I digress.

I am Mrs Armel Ryan and i have been suffering from a political correctness condition that has ovulated into my having a genital hair mat that looks like a Trump doo, and has me farting exactly how hellary sounds when she cackles.  Worse, it's making me tell people I have all kinds of free shit to give them if they elect me, even if I'm older than running water and look like a mad scientist from a 1950s B movie starring Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra and Michael Moore in the unclassic Godzilla vs Rodan vs Mothra vs The Fat Leftard.  The doctor says that i have just few more days until I go 'gremlins' and start "yum yumming" my way through a small town Christmas movie near you. I am from (Paris) France, but based in the basement of the DNC where I've been trying to undo the effects of having seed the DNC chairpoison in her Medusa get up...I'm still stoned and trying to chip my way out of it.

Now that i am about to end the race by having to share a stage with a triple wide pants suit that cackles like an evil hen and wouldn't know the truth if it bit her in that sumo/thong sized ass and won't be able to cover any of the promises I've made as to giving everything away free and expecting Wall Street to pay for it, I'd like to give you my sexually abused camel, Orthopedick, and leave all of my dubious antecedent records to a marmot in Canada, that's afraid of camels, otherwise she'd get Orthopedick too.  
But my mind is not at rest because i am Q-tipping my sinuses with a cheese stick and it hurts like hell.  Why am I doing this?  Because that Medusa looking thing from the DNC said it was either that or listen to 24 solid hours of the cackling hen not being able to recall shit.  The cheese stick in the sinuses was the better option.

I also have $7.9 Million US Dollars waiting to be picked up in a bank behind German lines, Bellamy, but if you say that stinking awful stupid joke and you're always pulling that stinking awful stupid joke, if you don't want in this thing you don't get in this thing...60 feet of bridge I can pick up about anywhere...schmuck.

See what I just did there?  While Oddball is holding himself in reserve, in case the krauts mount a major offensive that endangers Paris, hehe, or maybe even New York, then we can move in and stop them.  See what sending out them negative waves did, Moriarty?

Respond to me immediately for further details since I have just few days to end this peculiar and unproductive thread, and perhaps start a new one that says I'm a Nigerian princess general who was deposed by a battalion of paragiraffes and I need you to offer me succor in exchange for a bag of them.  Or something like that, if you will understand my point

Your gender cornfused and tri-genitaled friend,

Mrs Armel Ryan  
When sent by this particular character to the scammer, no reply was forthcoming.  Apparently someone was reading that actually knew how.
But to another of my characters, the scammer isn't quite so comprehending...perhaps more on that, later.


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Blogger Sandee said...

Well bless their hearts. You got to give them credit for trying to steal your money.

Have a fabulous day. My very best to Seymour. ☺

07 March, 2016 09:43  

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