This may or may not be Dr. Ayelala Mayowa, alleged spell caster and all around twatwaffle.
My character, Ben Dover, can't say. 'Cuz as this is writ, ol' Ben is supposed to be daid.
So said would happen the alleged smell caster, since ol' Ben tweaked him repeatedly via email.
When we last left Dr. Ayelala Mayowa, ol' Ben had been baiting him over his smell casting, and had heard nothing in response.
Then suddenly -- after copying the doctor of dubious antecedence with an edited scam -- the smell caster of Lagos speaked:
I, Ben and the pet rock were supposed to have been scrambling to look for a sacrifice. We came up a tad short:
It's hard to take a 'god' that looks like a feather-wearing flush toilet with
a Harpo Marx 'honk honk' horn seriously, dude. As for my making an
"appeasing sacrifice" to your feather covered flush toilet gawd, would a 12"
fecal offering suffice? I have one ready to go, and by the grace of your
smell casting -- that meant to turn me into a platypus and missed,
instead converting my microwave into an antiquated 8 trac player --
I am more than happy to sacrifice it to you in honor of your fecal-like
character. If odumassgo or whatever his nom de guerre is cannot be
satisfied with that as the appeasing sacrifice, then I rectum he'll have
to suck on a plunger. Or you, whichever is handier for him.
Now as for -- to quote your goat -- "death shall be you penalty" -- it already
appears that your smell casting isn't as effective as your spellchecker, and
it doesn't work worth a sh*t either. Besides, I has here with me a voodoo-capable
pet rock of dubious antecedence and not afraid to use it on either a feathered
flush toilet gawd of smellcasting inadequacy, OR on the smellcaster's totally
inept and runt-of-the-litter abject aboriginal moron. So my ungabunga ooga
booga pet rock -- Seymour the Olfactorous Cacophony -- with the voodoo
that he do so w-eellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, gives you just 3 days to unshrink your
head and remove it from your anal orifice, at which time Seymour will happily
return it to one turd it's normal size or your monkey back. Should you fail to
adhere to that schedule, the dreaded foo bird will shat upon thee, and it is
knowd far and widely that when the foo sh*ts, you wear it.
My wisdom sharing pet rock says "Next time you will be charged for his time and
the energy it costs him to do a few "ooga boogas" that generally irritate his rotator cuff.
Okay, Dr. Ungabunga, flush odumassgo and see if you can clear him widdout using
your lips as a plunger on him. That would be your word for the wise: plunger.
Dr. Ayelala Mayowa becomes a smell caster of few words, even as he tries his best ominous impression:
It is done. you will soon see. The Gods (Odumego) are not merciful to those who mock the Gods.
Oh whoops...looks like he missed again. I won't tell Britney if you don't.
*Jeopardy Theme* while I wait to see what I turn into. Or...when your smell casting aim goes askew (gesundheit) again...what my coffee maker turns into. Or my spatula. You really need to improve your aim, twatwaffle. Did you know that your feather lined toilet gawd's mother dresses it dunny? See what we just did there?
Well...Ben's still around...my pet rock's still around (he can't help it...he's built that way..."PHFFFFFFFT!!!")...and like it or not, I'm still around.
And Dr. Ayelala Mayowa's sulking in silence again.