Sunday, June 28, 2015

Airport 2015 -- Seymour Style

Another news story about North Korean whackadoodle Kim Jong Un.

Another edit by "pet rock gone edit wild", Seymour.

I swear that my pet rock is going to make a career out of Un.

Here's the latest:

Kim Jong Un worried that Pyongyang has an airport that's “terminal”

By Seymour PetRock – WTF News

June 25 (WTF) – Besides being astonished to find out that Pyongyang “had an airport”, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un expressed “ararm and sadness” to hear that the airport “was terminal”. 
No one in Un's entourage was willing to try to explain and clarify the situation to Dear Pudgemeister, not wanting it to lead to hungry dogs or the business end of an anti-aircraft gun, both of which tend to reflect current day North Korean ideology.

 Kim boarded his personal Fokker tri-wing prop job with his wife, Ma Thumb n Fingers, and younger sister Kim Ho Jong Un to take what they thought would be a three hour tour that ended up with them meeting Tina Louise and Dawn Wells, an anonymous source reported Thursday. This is the second time that Un thought he was going to meet the surviving cast members of Gilligan's Island.

Kim said he was greatly grieved to learn that the airport was “terminal” but expressed confidence that the new drug North Korea recently touted that cures AIDS, SARS, MERS, LMAO and painful rectal itch would help save the airport, something Un didn't know they had, but was pretty sure might come in handy in some manner.

North Korea's state newspaper said the airport is a magnificent memorial to all the people buried underneath it that prioritizes hiding the bodies of repressed citizens and relatives of Un that piss him off, from the prying eyes of outside journalism. Rodehard Dorkkuk – the paper made from wrappers from Quarter Pounders with cheese Dear Leader favors – also dedicated five and three quarters out of six pages to Un's three hour tour that ended with him thinking he'd be meeting Louise and Wells, they said.

Un was happy to learn that the airport has a novelty for North Korea: a flushing toilet. He spent an hour watching obedient airport officials give themselves 'swirley hairdos' between flushes, giggling in a manner that only those who could pull off saying it gave Un “a sophisticated look” without throwing up afterward.

Hwang Pyong So, Pyongyang's No. 2 man, Kim Yang Gon, Pyongyang's No.1 man and and Ri Byong Chol, North Korea's toilet paper roll mounting expert accompanied Un and what's left of his relatives on their sympathy and wonder tour of the “terminal” airport.

Kim, who previously complained about not having an airport with a flushing toilet in November and subsequently purged official Ma Won Chun to multiple rural locations via the business end of a ZSU 23 gun, had nothing but cheeseburgers for lunch on this most recent visit.

Un said getting to meet Louise and Wells “was the highright” of his day. No one bothered to tell Un that he shook hands with inflated replicas of both. Un considered them both were "absorute perfection”, even while Louise developed a slow leak and had to be covertly pumped up several times during the visit, which included Un serenading the pair with a soulful rendition of “I So Ronery".

Un thought it "charming" that Louise was "whistling along".

Rodehard Korkkuk reported the airport's new flushing toilet and modern in 1950s standards is expected to hold together until the next monsoon.

The inflatable Wells and Louise couldn't be reached for comment...

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Blogger Sandee said...

Seymour sure knows how to give him the business. He makes him out to be a way bigger joke than he already is. Excellent.

Have a fabulous day. My best to Seymour. ☺

28 June, 2015 10:41  

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