Thursday, June 4, 2015

Not What Benin Had In Mind

The scammer came up with what he thought was a cheap and simple scam that would net him lots of small amounts.

The edit went small, alright...

Here is the scam:


Address: No. 51  Avakpa, Western Union Cotonou, Benin
Office Telephone: +229-99935539.E-mail:    westernunionspoof@inbox.lv
 
THIS REQUIRED AN URGENT RESPOND.
                      
AS MATTER OF URGENT WE ARE CALLING ON YOUR URGENT ATTENTION CONCERN YOUR FUNDS, PLEASE DO THE BEST YOU CAN TO GET US THE REQUIRED FEE OF $39 THIS IS BECAUSE THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF) HAVE  INSTRUCTED TO RETURN THE PAYMENT FILE BACK IF ANY BENEFICIARY HAS FAILED TO CLAIM HIM OR HER FUNDS WITHIN 72 HOURS. WE HAVE DONE OUR BEST TO ASK THEM TO HAVE PATIENTS WITH YOU TILL THE GIVEN DATE BUT THEY DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND. WE ARE THE ONE HOLDING THEM FOR VERY LONG TIME .THIS IS THE INSTRUCTION ALERT WE RECEIVED TODAY.
 
NOTE; WE ARE INSTRUCTED BY THE IMF TO RETURN THE PAYMENT FILE WITHIN 72 HOURS IF THE BENEFICIARY DID NOT COMPLY TO CLAIM HIS/HER FUNDS. WE ARE NOW CALLING ON YOUR URGENT ATTENTION TO RESPONSE TO THIS EMAIL ONCE YOU RECEIVE IT AND DO THE BEST YOU CAN TO SEND REPLY TOGETHER WITH PAYMENT INFORMATION OF THE NEEDED $39 SO THAT YOU WILL START RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT TO AVOID THE IMF BEEN TAKEN THE FUNDS BACK IN NEXT 72 HOURS.
 
HOWEVER, YOU ARE ADVISED TO GO AHEAD AND SEND THE HOME LAND SECURITY CLEARANCE FEE OF $39 VIA WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM SO THAT WE WILL ASSIST YOU AND OBTAIN THE CERTIFICATE FROM THE CONCERNED OFFICE, BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY THING HOLDING YOUR FUNDS OKAY.  HERE IS THE INFORMATION YOU WILL USE TO SEND THE MONEY.
 
RECEIVER NAME: Olusanya Omobolanle Olushola
CITY/COUNTRY: COTONOU - BENIN REPUBLIC.
QUESTION: NOW
ANSWER: YES
AMOUNT: $39 DOLLARS
MTCN: 
SENDER NAME: 
COUNTRY:
PHONE NUMBER:
 
DO SEND US THE MTCN NUMBERS AS SOON AS YOU MADE THE PAYMENT. IF YOU CAN SEND THE FEE TODAY, YOU WILL PICK UP THE FIRST PAYMENT AND WE WILL SEND YOU ANOTHER $4,000 TODAY AS THE CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE IS THE ONLY THING HOLDING THE TRANSFER.
 
YOU WILL START RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT IN NEXT 2 HOURS OF RECEIVING SAID FEE FROM YOU. WE ARE ADVISING YOU TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN AND GET US THE SAID MONEY TODAY AND YOU WILL START RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT IN 2 HOURS OF SENDING THE FEE TO US. MEANWHILE WE ADVISE YOU TO FORWARD TO US YOUR DIRECT PHONE NUMBER FOR FAST UPDATE ONCE WE MADE YOUR PAYMENT WHEN FORWARDING THE PAYMENT DETAILS.
 
SINCERELY,
REV. MARK JAMES
+229-99935539  
 
 
I love how so many of these scammers think that representing themselves as reverends will get them anywhere.  I mean, look how it works for the massive racebaiter and tax cheat, "Rev" Al Sharpton?
 
That's probably why they think that.
 
At any rate, I didn't shrink from the edit...but shrinkage did figure in:
 
 
Address: No. 51  Avakpa, Western Union Cotonou, Benin

Office Telephone: +229-99935539.
E-mail:    
westernunionspoof@inbox.lv
 

THIS REQUIRED AN URCHIN RESPOND.  IF YOU NOT HAVE URCHIN TO RESPOND, WE WAIT WHILE YOU GET ONE.                      

AS MATTER OF URGENT WE ARE CALLING ON YOUR URGENT ATTENTION CONCERN YOUR GENITAL FUNGUS, PLEASE DO THE BEST YOU CAN TO GET US THE REQUIRED FUNGUS RELIEF THAT COST ONLY $39 THIS IS BECAUSE THE INTERNATIONAL GENITAL FUNGUS FUND (IGFF) HAVE  INSTRUCTED TO RETURN ALL GENITAL FUNGUS BACK IF ANY BENEFICIARY HAS FAILED TO ADMIT TO HAVING GENITAL FUNGUS AND NOT PAID TO MEDICATE IT WITHIN 72 HOURS. WE HAVE DONE OUR BEST TO EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT HERE IN BENIN, EVERYONE HAS GENITAL FUNGUS -- IT'S THAT FUNGUS AMONGUS THAT BINDS, ITCHES AND BLEEDS -- BUT THEY DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND.  SO HERE WE ARE, HOLDING UP YOUR END OF THE GENITAL FUNGUS FOR VERY LONG TIME.  TODAY THEY SEND US THIS NEW INSTRUCT ALERT WE RECEIVED TODAY.
 

NOTE:  E FLAT.  WE ARE INSTRUCT BY THE IGFF TO RETURN THE GENITAL FUNGUS OINTMENT WITHIN 72 HOURS IF THE BENEFICIARY DID NOT COMPLY TO CLAIM HIS/HER GENITAL FUNGUS OINTMENT. WE ARE NOW CALLING ON YOUR URCHIN ATTENDANTS TO RESPONDS TO THIS EMAIL ONCE YOU RECEIVE IT AND DO THE BEST YOU CAN TO SEND REPLY TOGETHER WITH URCHIN INFORMATION OF THE NEEDED SO THAT DISPENSE OF OINTMENT AT $39 A SMEAR FROM TUBE CAN BE SENDED TO YOU SO THAT YOU MAY NOT WIND UP WITH GENITAL FUNGUS AS IT IS AMONGUS HERE IN BENIN, WHERE IT BINDS US, IRRITATES US AND MAKES OUR TALLYWHACKERS BLEED.  
 

AND FOR THE NEXT 5000 RESPONDENT URCHINS WE HAVE THIS SPECIAL:  ORDER NOW AND WE WILL PAY FOR YOU THE HOME LAND SECURITY CLEARANCE FEE OF $39, ABSOLUTELY FREE.  YES, THAT IS ABSOLUTELY FREE.  MOST GENEROUS OF US, HUH?  BE AMONGUS THE FIRST 5000 RESPONDENTS AND WE WILL ASSIST YOU AND OBTAIN THE OINTMENT FROM THE CONCERNED OFFICE, ABSOLUTELY FREE, BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY THING HOLDING YOUR GENITAL FUNGUS IN CHECK, IF IT LIKE OURS.  HERE IS THE INFORMATION YOU WILL USE TO GET YOUR FREE OINTMENT THAT WE WILL PAYS FOR.
 

RECEIVER NAME: Olusanya Omobolanle Olushola Onot That Of**kface Ogun

CITY/COUNTRY: COTONOU - BENIN REPUBLIC.

QUESTION: WTF

ANSWER: YOU EXPECT US TO KNOW?

AMOUNT: NOTHING...FEE WAIVED FOR THE FIRST 5000 RESPONDENT URCHINS

DO SEND US CONFIRMATION WHEN YOU RECEIVE OINTMENT AND PROGRESS REPORTS ON IF IT ACTUALLY WORKS OR NOT.  IT WAS MADE BY A WITCH DOCTOR HERE THAT USUALLY ONLY MANAGE TO SHRINK STUFF.  THAT WHY WE WANT YOU TO TEST IT FIRST.  
 

YOU WILL START RECEIVING YOUR OINTMENT IN NEXT 2 HOURS OF OUR RECEIVING YOUR ABSOLUTELY FREE RESPOND FROM YOU. WE ARE ADVISING YOU TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN AND GET US THE SAID RESPOND TODAY AND YOU WILL START RECEIVING YOUR GENITAL FUNGUS OINTMENT IN 2 HOURS OF SENDING THE ABSOLUTELY FREE EMAIL TO US. MEANWHILE WE ADVISE YOU TO FORWARD TO US YOUR DIRECT PHONE NUMBER FOR FAST UPDATE ONCE WE MADE YOUR OINTMENT AND SHIPPED IT.
 

SINCERELY,

REV. MARK JAMES

+229-99935539

Witch Doctors of Benin UnInc,

(Shrunken) Head Office Benin Republic.

Witch Doctors of Benin UnInc®

When it absolutely positively has to be shrunk overnight Worldwide

With Witch Doctors of Benin UnInc service, shrunken heads and other parts is performed in 15-20 minutes and bank account is not required. We only shrink what you asks us to, guaranteed or your moneys back when applicable.  Title and registration fees extra.  Other offers not applicable since we don't have other offers.  Your results won't vary; ours didn't.  
 
 
No reply was received from the originating scammer, but a previous scammer did object to receiving this with that short phrase the late George Carlin noted "signals the end of the argument".  My response back "that's very small minded of you...been using that ointment, eh?", seemed to put an end to any further dialogue  ;-)

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2 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

I love how you spread this love (edits) to all the scammers. It's so what needs doing.

Have a fabulous day. My very best to Seymour. ☺

04 June, 2015 08:51  
Anonymous Debbie said...

$39.00, odd amount.

An urgent respond?

I've noticed a lot of these scammers are Reverends, or either the surviving wife of a Reverend.

I like the picture/image you use. I might have to steal it.

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.co


05 June, 2015 18:03  

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