Saturday, February 14, 2015

A Scammer Put Out To Pastor

It sure beats me if the pastor that contacted me with one of the worst (de)composed scam emails for 2015 looks like this one or not; a scammer DID use this photo to represent hisself thus back in '09 or so.

Of course he could look like other possumbilities, but we'll get to that later.

Take a gander at what I referenced as being one of the worst written scam emails I've seen so far in 2015:

Gretings Dear

Compliments of the season May this Message meets you in good mood, I Strongly belive you are in good Health with your family members. am sure you must be surprise reading from me today

I will like to inform you the good news, the United Bank Of Africa,(UBA) On Tuesday  under knowledge of a friend of mine who is a senior staff with the bank contacted me explaining the availability of your fund in their custody.

If you can still remember the sum of amount $200,000.00 in the cheque which was issued to you by Mrs Joy Emma,but you could not receive it as there was a misunderstanding between our communication during when I was trying to deliver the cheque to you, now this fund bounce back to their office as a result that the cheque was not cashed by anybody.

This notification arrived my desk with the help of my banker friend who explained that the fund is about to become government funding which the central bank have ordered for the reactivation of every account and fund available in every bank in the country, their aim is to know if the formal head of state have any hiding account or among the dead people exist any huge amount then the country can benefit from such and use it for the rehabilitation source of the country economy.

Now according to the banker the cheque have expired but the fund there in is still valid and available but could only be delivered to you as ATM since they have stop all Bank transfer here because of the Audit Rihabilitation project. you wil recieve the ATM CARD and cash it in any ATM Mechine Bit by Bit or in the whole at your local Bank.

The atachment file enclose with this later is the copy of your ATM CARD for your prove, i went to pick it from the Bank for security reason.Since you are not here to go for the claim.

As am writen to you now i have it in my hand to send to you without delay to enablke you have acess to withdraw your money over there for safe reason, reconfirmed to me your current adress/Mobile telephone nomber.

immediately i hear from you with the informations i will send it across to you through DHL company for fast and safe delivery without delay.

Have a nice day

The Joy of the Lord is your Srenght

I expect to read back from you asap

Yours Sincerly
Rev.Pastor Frank Okoro.
DIRECT LINE.+22544489442


Yup...that's how it arrived.  Pastor Frank Okoro needs hep.

After some of his peers and associates see what I dun to his email, they'll like agree:

On Tuesday, February 10, 2015 4:24 AM, Pasture Frank <> while picking up excess meadow muffins in his pasture wrote with no help from a Washington DC pubic sckrool smellpecker the follering:

Gretings Dear

Condiments of the seasonings!  May this Message meets you in good menstrual cycle which I hope you can ride.  I Strongly belive you are in good with the flying minkeys that escort the prince of dahkness when he visits a fast food restaurant and orders a side of your family members. 

I will like to inform you the good news that the United Bank Of Africa On Tuesday  just saved tune of monay by beating Geico with a switch.  The lizard confessed and now we know who started World War I.  

If you can still remember that the sum of all things totals everything, you remember something that seems pretty f**king obvious to a door knob and tree stump.  Mrs Joy Emma it wasn't obvious to, so we sent her to be re-educated at a Washington DC pubic sckrool, and that should pretty well ruin her for anything other than welfare cheating and voting democrap.  Granted the DNC dispute this but there was a misunderstanding between our communication during sex with an inflatable Sandra Fluke toy, and this pretty much guarantees that Brian "Walter Mitty" Williams will claim he was there when this happened during a newscast about the Iran-Iraq garage sale in '03 when the Humvee he was riding in got assaulted by interns for Bill Clinton.  

This notification arrived my desk with the help of Bebe Rebozo, a pet orangutan of George Soros, the well known primate sodomizer.  We're still trying to sanitize the desk.

Now according to the bimbo deflation Melissa Hairless Perry at msnbc, everything is racist in Liechtenstein, until or unless they quack like an owl for her.  I have to say that your lamestream servile mediocres there are strange; and what about that Medusa-looking head of your dnc, Debbil Washingmachine Schlitz?  Our communications secretary took one look at her and GOT stoned, preferring it to reality.  

The atachment file enclose with this later is as badly missprawled as wun myte xporct frum a Washington DC pubic sckrool.  And I gorfot to untach it.  Me bard.

As am writen to you now i have it in my hand and will use it on the crotch of a yak to see if it work the same there as with the inflatable Sandra Fluke toy...all that did was demand free barf control device.  It shoulda been for me, and those who've seen Sandra Fluke know what I am mean.  

immediately i hear from you I am alort the msnbc peoples to start clamming racecars in retorting on this starry starry knight.  

Have a nice day

The Joy of the bowel movement is your Srenght

I expect to read back from you asap

Yours Sincerly
Rev.Pasture Frank Okoro.  
This looks more like it was written by a dnc pasture, one that had to avoid offending most folks (and thanks to my edit, failed miserably).  One possumbility that this particular pasture looks kinda like this, having spent 20 years in the Jeremiah Wright Church Of Perpetual Hate 'n Racism:

OR, this pasture mighta looked a tad like the infamous Pastor Gas in the process of 'getting a message':

OR, he might have even been a "Walter Mitty" forgotten moment by a famous newscaster thinking about turning out to pasture:

And to be fair, it might not have been a man at the keyboard, decomposing the original scam email; it could have been a woman pasture, one that looks perhaps like this:

Or quite possumbly like this:

In any event, the originating scam pasture was cornfused by my edit:

what is this you mean here please?  

What you think I mean, Rev?  Apply faith and zen philosophy and get back to me. 

The pasture was apparently throwd off by that response:

do you want I withdrew this moneys frm you named accont?   

What you think, applying faith and zen philosophy to the email?  

i not undersand why u no want this?  

Time to help him understand:

Because I'm an asshole, that's why.  

THAT, he apparently understood  ;-)

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Blogger Sandee said...

Well, at least he understood the asshole part. Bwahahahahahahaha.

My story game for yesterday was about Seymour trying to find all his kids. Did you weigh in?

Have a fabulous day. My best to Seymour. :)

15 February, 2015 09:28  
Anonymous Debbie said...

Nice picture of Obama, ha

Dear ...

I strongly belive you are healthy...

18 February, 2015 14:25  

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