Thursday, November 13, 2014

Cheque This

My pet rock, Seymour, agrees with the chimp.

Ponder this email I received and you'll get a sense of what's to follow:


Dear Good Friend;

CONTACT UNITED PARCEL SERVICS COMPANY

How are you today? I am writing to inform you that I have Paid the fee for your Cheque Draft. And I went to the bank to confirm if the Cheque has expired or getting near to expire and the Director of Central Bank of West African States(BCEAO) told me that before the cheque will get to your hand that it will expire. So I told him to cash the US$950.000.00US DOLLARS to cash payment to avoid losting this funds.

However, all the necessary arrangement of delivering the US$950.000.00US DOLLARS in cash was made with UNITED PARCEL SERVICS (UPS) in Cotonou Benin Republic,the
Director of Central Bank of West African States(BCEAO) Cotonou have to package the sum of US$950.000.00 US DOLLARS in cash for me. They also agreed to help me to Register the Consignment box with UNITED PARCEL SERVICS (UPS). Infact I'm happy that every movement I made goes normally.
 
As for our agreement with the UNITED PARCEL SERVICS (UPS),they promised that your consignment will leave this Country tomorrow morning,But the Director of the UNITED
PARCEL SERVICS (UPS) said that they need your contacts informations to aneble them meet up with you immediately the Diplomat Agent arrived to your Country.

Please write a letter of application to the DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN DELIVERIES DEPARTMENT address below.

ATTN: Rev. Dr. Don Bright
TEl: +229-98-25-22-41
EMAIL:(upscompanyservics@yahoo.co.za )

Please, Send them your contact information to able them locate you immediately they arrived in your country with your BOX This is what they need from you.

1.YOUR FULL NAME
2.YOUR HOME ADDRESS.
3.YOUR CURRENT HOME TELEPHONE NUMBER.
4.YOUR CURRENT OFFICE TELEPHONE.
5.A COPY OF YOUR PICTURE

Note.United Parcel Services (UPS) don't know the contents of the Box. I registered it as a BOX of an FAMILY TREASURE. They don't know it contents money. this is to avoid them delaying with the BOX. don't let them know that is money that is in that Box.

You call the Director of the company with this line: +229-98-25-22-41

Thanks and Remain Blessed.
Barrister  Paul Edema.    



I'm sure you know what's coming:

 
Thank you for notifying me of this development. 
Please be advised that due to the recent obola pandumbic now sweeping West Africa and parts of the Washington DC-based Dumbocrapic National Committee -- Dummie Wasserproblem Schultz, chairpoison -- the cheque as you refer to it, or the box, or whatever it is you're planning to ship from th'yah to h'yah, will have to undergo a rectal thermometer screening upon arrival at a US international airport, followed by a 21 day quarantine -- during which it will be subjected to non-stop speeches by Nancy 'Bela' Pelosi, Harry the Zombie Reid and Joe Bidumb -- at a FEMA camp in New Yawhk City, where 20 oz drinks are deemed more dangerous than exotic diseases and ISIS.
 
Yeah, we think them folks in DC and New Yawhk is pretty stupid, too.
 
By the way, how bright can your Rev Don be?  Unless his biohazard suit is blaze yellow.  Now THAT'S bright.  Being in West Africa or the DC based DNC...not so much.
 
We're sure that by you labeling the box "Family Treasure", no one will be the least bit curious as to the box contents.  We do that here on a regular basis with hermetically sealed boxes of feces.  It's always April Fools for the mail thieves.
 
I'll expect your rectal-thermometered, three week-quarantined whatever to arrive by December.  Unless it comes by air...then it might wind up in the lost luggage pile at O'Hare, Dulles, LaGuardia or...Gawd hep it...Newark.  
 
 
That pretty much took care of expecting any delivery from West Africa.  As for a box of feces, that the DNC can keep.  It's pretty much what they're full of.



 

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2 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

During which it will be subjected to non-stop speeches by Nancy 'Bela' Pelosi, Harry the Zombie Reid and Joe Bidumb -- at a FEMA camp in New Yawhk City, where 20 oz drinks are deemed more dangerous than exotic diseases and ISIS. Bwahahahahahahahahahah. I almost fell off my chair.

Have a fabulous day. My best to Seymour. ☺

13 November, 2014 09:59  
Anonymous Debbie said...

obola pandumbic

I love that word, pandumbic. It is so fitting for so many things going on in Washington

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

13 November, 2014 16:27  

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