Amusing Analogy, Scammer-Style

I have to admit...this one made me laugh.

"Alise baby" -- aka Lillian Desmond, Alise Benson, etc, etc...after failing to get Jack N. Ewehoff to fall for her "woe is me, I'm a rich refugee in Senegal" scam...sent the same scam to my other "white meat" email address.

And got to deal with Ben Dover.  As did her bannister, Henry Kalifa.

Before my character pulled the rug from beneath the both of them, here's the ploy as described by hisself, the good bannister:

For your kind attention,
  SIR /MRS/ MR  BEN  DOVER. 
 
Acknowledment Mr Ben Dover your request over getting to you and your partner, An Authentication Document  From this firm, Power of Attorney And Affidavits of Oath, Which will enable the Bank to Deal with you on behalf of your partner.Who was here to discuss on how to Issue This letter of Authorization on A Transaction.

I, Bar.Henry Kalifa and associate, Here by indicating that we have fully excepted the consultant of this partners, And have undertaking the services of getting To you Mr Ben Dover and your Partner Miss Alise Benson, the Letter of actualize, That  willingly this transfer is well think and freely excepted that the transaction of Dr.Gilbert Benson's funds will go to MrK Ben Dover's Account,


 With due Respect to this service, the firm have gone through the needs and Ascertain the cost of this service from the Federal high court which is as follows


           Purposes.The Cost in Dollar. A -Authentication of the power of attorney----$400.00 Dollar                           

B -Swearing of the affidavit of oath at the federal high court here before it becomes valid ----$300.00  Dollar.   

 C -Notary stamping at the notary office (before it will go out from Senegal here)---$250.00  Dollar                       

 D -The firm legal Processing fees�----$150.00  Dollar

 Total of All ($1100.00 ) One Thousand One Hundred Dollar only) To get everything Done.

To speedy the process you are to get the fees sent, write or call the firm for the Notification as soon as you send the fees to enable the chambers have he fees collect  here and proceed with the preparation of the documents, Which you are to have in the next two working days, As soon as the firm got the fees for the services,

I Dr Henry  Kalifa is here to agree that with the firm bill Stated  to you, Perio the name and the ref sign of the firm is sealed that the services of Mr Ben Doverin this firm will not be delay or by any mines fail the appointed date since we are on a working days, You are welcome.


Make sure you send this money through any Western Union or Money Gram transfer nearest to you today or latest tomorrow.
with this information,
Mr Georgy Akimbi
Dakar Senegal.

Note!!
Mr Georgy Akimbi is the chembers financial controller and my
personal assistant.
Sincerely in service,
Bar. Henry Kalifa & Associates
Principal Partner. Esq.
No 48 Avenue Lamine Gueye (3rd-floor)
Dakar, Senegal.  Tel+77-793-14-86  


This was after a couple weeks of exchanges had built up the hopes and schemes of "Alise baby" and her slimebag partner.  Which prompted me, once again, to put to work that wonderful fiduciary instrument a sibling -- and fan of my pet rock, Seymour -- prepared for moments like this:

 

Having received eleven of these to use "for the greater good of this business you have so happily given my personage", the bannister was a not a happy fly-infested-internet-café-scammer:

I like listening to lies when i know the truth.
good people brings out the good in people's life.

but wicked people always leaves bad memories in people's life.  

 

 

He sounds just like an obozo spokesperson from the State Department.  Or IRS.
 

 

But my greatest amusement came from the response from our disappointed scamstress, Alise "baby" Benson, who apparently needs to work a tad on her use of analogies:

 

 

friends come and go,like the waves of the oceans,
but the true ones stays like an octupus on your face,
don't fear the enemy that attacks you,
but the fake friends that hugs you.  

 

 

Being the sort that I am, I didn't want her to feel too badly about how everything went, so I responded thus after finding the photo at the top, and including it in my character's reply:

 

 

Since I've been laughing right along at your amateur efforts here, I was equally amused by your closing analogy, in so far as how true friends compare to face-sucking octopi.  But danged if I didn't then go out and find a photo, just for you.  It apparently is one of your true friends.  Glad I could find you one.  

 

 

If I were to waste time running a 'best analogy for 2014' from scammers, right now I'd have to say that Alise baby holds a commanding lead.  Long as she doesn't get an octopus blocking her view of the screen.  Meantime, her bannister went from his drivel above -- after I sent them both the same email response -- to wanting to pose as a real bad ass I shouldn't make light of:



I don't have time for fools and wicked people like you.

if you dear write me again i prove to you whom i am ok.

you are too small for me to handle ok.

never you play with me..  

 

 

Nothing beats pissing off an email scammer to the point that they make empty threats.  So let's up the 'empty':

 

 

Oh by all means, you goat sodomizing African bannister...by all means, prove to me who you really are.  Go ahead.  From my vantage point, you are a blowhard nincompoop mugu who is incapable of much of anything.  I saw that posted on the blog that made fun of you.  But if you think you can prove to me that you're one real badass who can come after me, I am more than happy to have you prove it.  Because, Hanky-Self-Yanky, I doubt you're tough enough to fight your way through soggy toilet paper.  You can google to figure out what toilet paper is.  Meantime, why don't you take your empty threats and go sodomize Alise baby...it's about the only way you're gonna get to *screw* with anyone, you Nigerian candyass.  

 

 

That one got under Hanky-Self-Yanky's skin:

 

 

you will see how you are go too far. 

 

 

Playing the *Jeopardy Theme* while awaiting your mugu, pin-headed empty threats to show up.  

 

And like the rest of his ilk, I'll be waiting beyond the next Millennium...just like I'm waiting to see an octopus sucking on someone's face for reals  ;-)