Job Opening In Scamland

Wanted:  Someone who can proofread our email scams before we send them out.  Pay and benefits competitive at least in our neck of the woods.  We'd ask you to send a resume, but no one here can read it.

Which is what they might as well post for one internet café scam operation.

Here's the email I got that had me shaking my head:


On Wednesday, April 9, 2014 7:13 AM, Susanna lennar <silvio.giacchetta@alice.it> wrote:

THIS IS TO REMIND YOU THAT OUR ON GOING MASS DELIVERY WILL COME TO AN END ON 18TH APRIL 2014 AND WE WISH TO DELIVER ALL THE OLD DEPOSIT PACKAGES, TAKE NOTE THAT YOUR {consignment box} OF $7.5 USD WITH REG XQD7819-SC IS HERE FOR VERY LONG TIME NOW, THIS OFFICE HAS BEEN MANDATED FOR URGENT MASS DELIVERY AND YOU COULD BE AMONG THE LUCKY ONES WITH JUST $55.00 FEE, URGENTLY CONTACT THE MASS DELIVERY DIRECTOR WITH YOUR MASS DELIVERY PAYMENT INFORMATION.  

 

Do you see what they just did there?  They want me to send them $55 in return for a consignment box containing $7.5 USD.

 

Apparently Common Core math is flourishing in Scamland.

 

Instead of playing, I just decided to question their email math:

 

Why would I send you $55 USD for a box you said only contains $7.50 USD?  Here's another question for you while I'm at it:  are you morons by birth or choice? 

The incredible answer back is one for the books:

AMONT IS NOT  $7.5  WE CHOOSE HERE.  NOW IF YOU WANT YOUR CONSIGN BOX, HERE IS THE RECEIVER INFO

Receiver Name EMMA IWUNO
Country.:Benin Republic
City..:Cotonou
Question.: WHEN?
Answer.: TODAY
Amount......$55.00usd
MTCN: 

Ah, thanks for clearing that up so concisely.  The consignment isn't for $7.5 and you are morons by choice.  Fine.  So my first question still stands:  why would I send $55 for $7.5 USD, which is what you wrote and failed to correct with what it is?  

ARE YOU WANT CONSIGN BOX OR NOT PLEASE.

Not please.  But I will suggest that you run a want ad for a proofreader to both read what you receive, reply to and how you do so.  

YOU MUST SEND FEE FOR CONSIGN BOX SOONEST.  TIME UP IN APRIL 18. 

There you go again, more negative syntax.  Have a little proofreading, baby, have a little proofreading.  And you STILL haven't answered why I should send you $55 in return for $7.5? 

IT NOT $7.5!!!!!  (and the scammer went on to repeat the wiring information).

Okay fine...let's go another more usual route:

Fine.  The $55 is sent for whatever it is I'm getting in return. 

IF YOU SEND I NEED THE IMFORMATIONS I TELL YOU.


And what imformations were those?  


Receiver Name EMMA IWUNO
Country.:Benin Republic
City..:Cotonou
Question.: WHEN?
Answer.: TODAY
Amount......$55.00usd
MTCN:  


Yes, I used that imformations.  Just like you writ it. 


WHERE IS MTCN? 


The first two are abbreviation for Montana; the second two, maybe Connecticut, both in the USA.   What good will those do you?  


NO I NEED THE NUMBERS.  


Numbers run 0-9 and to infinity.  Take your choice since you choose.


WHAT ARE NUMBERS OF MTCN?  

Let's take him back to states again:


If it's area codes you want, you can choose to look those up yourself.  However, Connecticut uses 203, 475, 860 and 959.  Montana only uses 406.   Montana isn't greedy like Connecticut.


Stupid and frustrated makes an amusing combination:


WHAT IS THE NUMBERS OF MTCH?  IT IS 10 NUMBER PLEASE. 

You recall that I told him he needs a proofreader:

Who is Mitch and what numbers of his do you need?  

All I got back after that was a blank email response.  To which I replied See, if you had listened to me and hired yourself a proofreader, you wouldn't be asking for numbers for two states or a Mitch person you've probably never met.  

And nothing more after that.  Maybe they're working on hiring a proofreader.  Or figured out what it is they choosed to be...