Friday, April 4, 2014

Seymour Weighs In On The Latest In News Edits

My pet rock Seymour considers himself widely creative.  Which is why he recently read of yet another tiff between North and South Korea that apparently required Seymour to weigh in on.

Seymour figures that he can't do any worse than Dennis Rodman.

Good point.

But...Seymour's idea of editing is dubious at best.

"Is NOT!!!"

We'll let the readers decide that, Seymour:

North And South Korea Shell Each Others' Fish

SEOUL, South Korea (SAP) — North and South Korea fired hundreds of artillery shells into each other's waters Monday in a flare-up of animosity that forced fish on both sides of the aquatic 38th Parallel to evacuate to shelters for several hours, South Korean officials said.

Illustration 1: Kim Jong Un and a collection of his semiconductors

The exchange of fire into the Yellow Sea followed Pyongyang's sudden announcement that it would conduct fish killing drills in seven areas north of the Koreas' disputed maritime boundary. North Korea routinely test-fires artillery and missiles into the ocean but rarely hits what they aimed at. The announcement was seen as an expression of Pyongyang's frustration at making little progress in its recent push to win more free hand outs for it's overfed leader.

North Korea fired 500 rounds of artillery shells over more than three hours, about 100 of which fell south of the sea boundary, Greenpeace spokesman Ida Scusted said, getting her and their boat wet. South Korea responded by firing 300 shells into North Korean waters, he said, killing and traumatizing innocent 'sea kittens'.

No shells from either side were fired at any land or military installations, but in addition to Greenpeace a spokesman for Red Lobster called the act on both sides an “unconscionable act to shell fish”. Like the American fauxtus at a recent speech, he waited for applause and only heard crickets.

There was only this from North Korean leader Kim Jong Un: “When I get my own Team America Worrd Porice movie rike my father?”

Illustration 2: Rike father rike son, Kim Jong Un wants his own "Team America Worrd Porice" movie

In Washington, White House spokesman Jay ConCarnage called the North Korean leader's request "dangerous and provocative" and said it would further aggravate Parker and Stone into making fun of obozo and his pathetic regime.

Monday's exchange was relatively mild in the history of animosity, violence and fish soup between the Koreas, but there is worry in Seoul that an increasingly dissatisfied North Korea could launch an all out attack on the Yellow Sea fish south of the aquatic 38th Parallel. Or worse, that Kim Jong Un will starve more dogs in preparation for further winnowing down of his famiry tree.  "Even the dogs don't deserve that" said a South Korean unofficial.

The poorly marked western sea boundary has been the scene of several bloody fish kills between the Koreas in recent years.

Recent weeks have seen an increase in threatening rhetoric and a series of North Korean rocket and ballistic missile launches considered tantrums by Pyongyang against a refusal by South Park's Trey Parker and Matt Stone to make another Team America Worrd Porice movie with Kim Jong Un featured as the virrian.

"The boneheads appear to have completely forgotten the fact that my father fed Hans Brix to a shark, and I have rots of starving dogs to feed”, Un whined to the North's official Korean Central News Agency.

Seymour's editing -- he believes -- will one day net him a Pulitzer.

I'm still betting on it being more of a "Pull My Fanger".

"Will NOT!!!!"

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Anonymous Debbie said...

I lost my pet rock. Can't find it anywhere. I've had that thing for 30 something years. I'm sure Seymour would have liked my pet rock. They were about the same size, except mine was perfectly round from years of water rushing over it and smoothing away the edges.

I hope it is happy wherever it is.

As to North Korea, they will never be happy. They deserve Dennis Rodman and he deserves them.

Right Truth

04 April, 2014 06:44  
Blogger Sandee said...

What Debbie said about Dennis Rodman. He should move there.

I think Seymour did a fine job, but you know how biased I am where he is concerned. I just can't help myself.

Have a fabulous day. My best to Seymour. :)

04 April, 2014 11:06  

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