Seymour On A Climate Roll

My pet rock loves science.

Though he still thinks that carbon dating is his ticket to getting laid.

"Do NOT!!!"

At any rate, he came across another of those articles from the UN that insists on making climate change wholly the fault of humans, and offering drastic measures to curtail it, at the cost of most industrial nations' economies.

Which the Left fully supports, until their low-information selves figure out just what it'll mean to their drum circles and ipads.

Leave it to Seymour to get his hands on a copy of the leaked UN report about climate that is coming shortly out of Berlin, Germany, and to put his own geologic interpretation to it:

The UN Continues To Make Up Global Warming Hysteria

BERLIN (SAP) — After concluding -- despite scientific facts to the contrary -- that global warming almost certainly is man-made and poses a grave threat to humanity, the U.N.-arranged-and-paid-to-say-so amateur panel on climate change is moving on to the next phase: how to sell the lie.

The I'm Paid To Say This Climate Sh**, or IPTSTCS, will meet next week in Berlin to chart ways in which the world will be told how to live.

It ignored what the fraud will cost thriving industrial nations, and how the negative impact on them will further impoverish undeveloped nations, since they weren't getting paid to tell the truth.

In the third attempt to sell the fraud of AGW to further enrich AlGore and his worthless pond scum, the IPTSTCS is expected to say a douche wagonload of crap that has already been disproved time after time, in the theory that if they keep saying it, the American leftist lamestream servile mediocres will seize upon it and try to sell it like the obozodoesn'tcare fiasco.

"Underlying this report is a lot of made-up lies and fraudulent analysis of the problem and how we intend to enrich the renewable energy sector – which, of course, all of us are invested in," said Jake Schmuck, international climate fraud director at the National Disingenuousness Council, a Washington-based collection of drum circle environmental wacktoids. "And there will also be some discussions of how to silence the skeptics that keep us from becoming filthy rich on this renewable scam we're running."

A leaked draft of the report sent to governments in December suggests that in order to keep the climate fraudsters in business, they need to cripple the economies of the West at least 40-70 percent by 2050.

Proven and affordable energy would have to be stamped out, and unaffordable, far costlier crap that breaks individuals and businesses to attempt to afford would have to be forced on people to the tune of, at the very least, $1.47 trillion annually according to the draft.

That message is likely to face opposition, facts, reason and logic from the fossil fuel industry and countries that depend on it.

Earlier this week, one oil company said the IPTSTCS's climate fraud is "full of crap" and won't stop it from selling fossil fuels far into the future.

That contrasted with a message from U.N. climate fraudette Christiana “It” Figueres, who after sleeping with all the top UN climate change staff, told oil and gas industry officials in London on Thursday that three-quarters of the fossil fuel reserves still in the ground needs to stay there for the UN members to realize a 10-25% profit on the fraud they're trying to sell.

"We will seek to arrest and imprison you if you try to stop us from making the kind of insane profits our harebrained scheme is projected to make us," Figueres said, thinking her microphone was off.

The alternative plan to mitigate climate change would involve coming up with new ways to scrub methane out of the DNC and leftists. And that would be counterproductive to what the left wants to accomplish at the expense of everyone else.

Stupid leftist environwhacktoid ideas being touted as geoengineering have floated ideas like dropping tons of iron into the ocean to make carbon-munching algae bloom while killing all the fish, or putting a giant umbrella – with a picture of AlGore on it -- in space to shield us from prying eyes in a nearby galaxy.

Many real scientists consider the whole UN scheme a jackwagonload of leftist hooey.

Of course, the Leftists in the UN want opponents stifled by any and all means. “Truth is anathema to the Earth” one environwhacktoid shouted, drawing “what a doo-doo head” looks from a visiting second grade class from rural Iowa.

The two previous reports in the IPTSTCS's first incomprehensible myth of climate since 2007 said it's 95-percent certain that reasoned, rational people won't buy this sh** unless the Left takes over running all the nations, and forces these changes down peoples' throats.

The latest report also focuses on how well the Obozo regime campaign against cow farts goes; where goes that, so might go their own report.

Another controversial part of the report is the one dealing with who should pay for efforts to curb climate change. The UN says the USA should pay for it all. There are still too many rational, legal voters in the USA to let Obozo simply sign off on that option, particularly since it'd cut into his taxpayer-funded vacations starting in 2015.

The IPTSTCS, which is a made-up body of drum circlers, tree huggers and other screwballs who think earning a living is passe, is attempting to be wholly political in this fraud scheme of theirs, and insist that for their scheme to work and enrich them at the cost of everyone else, it will be necessary to somehow engineer financial transfers "in the order of hundreds of billions of dollars per year before mid-century."

"The main bone of contention will be how we can sell this sh** before a significant part of the world wakes up to the fraud and throws us into a pit of crocodiles" said Schmuck, of the National Disingenuousness Council. "We need to move on this now while we have some measure of power to force others to bend to our will." 

Of course, Seymour realizes that lowlifes like AlGore will brand Seymour a 'climate change denier'.

"That and 50 cents means what?"

Exactly, my astute pet rock.

"I did NOT just fart!!!"

Seymour, that's not what 'astute' means.

"Oh..."

Seymour's peerless on geology.  Just don't test him on grammar.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT!"