The Bayford Lotto Scam: Dumb Gets Dumber Part I

Adrian and Gillian Bayford -- not the real ones -- are at it again.

And are going about it dumber than ever.

I've heard of -- and *from* -- this couple before.  Allegedly, the real couple won a Euro Lotto of some kind, and after taking care of themselves, they sought to share some of their wealth.  Allegedly.

Well, scammers have latched on to the story, and done their deviant best to make it their own.

Most of them aren't terribly bright or convincing.  Like my latest pair.

They sent me their initial nonsense (complete with a link to the original story from a year or more back), advised me that I was "the second" candidate selected to receive 1.5 million pounds, and that I should reply to set things in motion.

Well, I did...I edited their letter and sent it back to them and a host of other readers.  First, a piece of which they sent me:

My wife and i won 148million pounds in Euromillion jackpot lottery august last year and we decide to give out 1.5million pounds each globally to 20recipient , as the Google Management sent us your email yesterday as our second recipient.Kindly Reply Name, Country,Occupation and Phone for further instructions.

And with that, I did some editing and sent back THIS in reply:

Hi.  We are the Bayfrauds, and we positively SUCK as human beings.  We lie.  We cheat.  We steal.  We live overseas and voted for barack insane nobama 50 times in '12.  We collect welfare from Massachusetts, and we kick furry animals...but only those that can turn on and eat us.

What follows next you're not gonna believe if you have a working brain, so we hope you don't.....my wife and i won 148million pounds in Euromillion jackpot lottery august last year and we decide to give out 1.5million pounds each globally to 20recipient.

Can you say "whacking great scam idea?".  If you can, don't respond.  If you think we sound like the salt of the earth, instead of an assault on it, then you can believe that teh Gooble Management sent us your email yesterday as our second recipient we plan to bilk out of an undisclosed sum.  Kindly Reply, because if you don't, we know you're an asshat, and we don't like people who are bigger asshats than us. 

Send us your  Name, Country,Occupation and Phone for further instructions.  Yes, I know..I worded that wrong...if you send me your country and phone, your country will be on top of ours, and we'll all be flat.  In which case, your phone will be useless to us.  So let us see what we can do about that....hmmm....oh...yes, please fill out the following informations and send it to us, INSTEAD of sending us your country and phone.  

Sh*t, this isn't supposed to be so hard:

Your Name:

Your Country's Name:

Your State's Name:

Your City's Name:

Your Car's Name:

Your Pet's Name:

What's In A Name:

Why Should We Care:

Send it to us here at   adrianbayfordgillianand@rogers.com

You'd reckon that the scammer would read this edit and figure "nothing to scam here...move along".

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

Instead, here's how dumb my scammers are:

Attention : Dear Beneficiary

Our names are Adrian and Gillian Bayford and we are really happy to hear from you as we believe this is a life time opportunity for you and your family, This email is to inform you that in the month of August, 2012,We won one of Britain's biggest lottery of 148.6 million pounds, After seeking financial advice from our legal counsel, we decided to commence our 2013 charity foundation/projects, and also use the opportunity to give out cash grant of 1.5 million pounds each to at least 20 persons to become millionaires like us. It is also our intention to make out donations to charity projects and the less privileged all over the world. Which was why we had to make sure our interview is put on the Internet for the world to see.

They go on with several paragraphs of fluff 'n hokum, and then give me the email address of the bank I'm to contact that's holding 'my' 1.5 million Great British Pounds:  a Citibank branch in...the Ukraine  ;-)  citibnkukrainedept@outlook.com


Will wonders never cease; I did'dunt know that Citibank was waaaay over there in the Ukurranus former Soviet Union Of Fewer And Fewer Republics.  I guess they wanna be every where that Visa is.

So since editing doesn't seem to work with these yutzes, it's time for *game on*.

Next up:  Citibank in the Ukraine vs...