Randomosities Wunst Agin
It was time, wunst agin, to let mental randomosity
fly in the face of reason, and see what sticks to the wall*. Without any foithah adieu:
1. Referring to the photo at right, apparently no one pictured thought about 'taking one for the team'.
1a. That's probably why they weren't in the Doritos Super Bowl commercial or March Madness tournament...*BUZZZER* forfeit.
2. In factoring the schemes of mice and men, men are 5-0.
3. Speaking of March Madness, doesn't it suck when your whole, carefully crafted bracket picks, are unhinged at the outset by a team from a place called "Morehead State"?
4. Bill Maher is desperately vying with Michael Mooron to out-moron each other.
5. Compare the conduct of the Japanese people, directly affected by the 9.0 quake, tsunami, and nuclear power disaster, to the fourteen Democrat Wisconsin state senators and their union thug allies during the Wisconsin state budget crisis. Yeah, I know it's a bad comparison: the latter never even tried to measure up to the former.
6. I have declared a 'no-fly zone' in my apartment, and have a fly swatter to enforce it. Don't even try me, Flyddafi.
7. I was re-certified in CPR/AED the other day. How do they know I 'passed': the dummy's still dead.
8. Being unemployed sucks.
8a. It sucked so much, it made me go get a job.
9. I have some awesome friends and family. Just sayin'.
10. Psoriasis of nasal warts sucks. Glad I don't have it/any.
11. My former employer no longer has to worry about me on April 1.
11a. My new employer does...
12. It is really going to suck if there's no NFL season in 2011.
13. Unluckily for the NFL, I'll just make do with college football ;-)
14. The intellectual quality of the email scammers that I bait has significantly deteriorated.
14a. Now they're almost as stupid as the SEIU.
15. A friend recently told me that she didn't know what she felt like for dinner. I offered to find out.
15a. I didn't get to...
16. Another friend asked me to help her replace a door bell in her house. After I wired it up and was about to test it, the phone rang. I told her I didn't mean to do that. She's still laughing.
16a. She told a friend that she wanted a ding-dong to to fix her ding-dong. She had a point.
16b. It works, despite me.
17. Dammit, I knew I forgot something at the store.
17a. Worse dammit, I can't remember what I forgot.
18. They're holding online tryouts to find a new voice of the AFLAC Duck. Required for all prospective candidates, is on-off the job conduck that is in keeping with what AFLAC considers quacked up to their standards. AFter having just finished an order of Chinese crispy duck, I think I LAC the necessary life conDUCK to take a QUACK at this.
18a. I was out of duct tape, anyway.
19. My car needs gas.
19a. Too bad it can't use what works for me: about anything.
20. A medical research report says that if you're not in shape, sex is three times more likely to kill you.
20a. In shape or not, being hit by a falling safe is a billion times more likely to kill you.
20b. Unless you're animated.
21. So, the dysfunctional Ninth (short) Circuit Court of Appeals has struck down the 2005 'Stolen Valor Act' passed by Congress; in essence, the Court says that lying is protected by the First Amendment.
21a. The next tsunami really needs to take this court.
22. Have you ever tried to make a corsage out of pork rinds? Neither have I.
22a. I'll bet someone has...
23. My toaster fried.
23a. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to thaw frozen manicotti in there...
24. The elderly Chinese delivery dude -- after delivering my last order -- windedly informed me that I have "49 steps" (from parking lot to my door). I told him he needed to look for a shorter intervention program.
24a. He didn't get it...
* maybe it's high time I wipe off the walls..?
fly in the face of reason, and see what sticks to the wall*. Without any foithah adieu:1. Referring to the photo at right, apparently no one pictured thought about 'taking one for the team'.
1a. That's probably why they weren't in the Doritos Super Bowl commercial or March Madness tournament...*BUZZZER* forfeit.
2. In factoring the schemes of mice and men, men are 5-0.
3. Speaking of March Madness, doesn't it suck when your whole, carefully crafted bracket picks, are unhinged at the outset by a team from a place called "Morehead State"?
4. Bill Maher is desperately vying with Michael Mooron to out-moron each other.
5. Compare the conduct of the Japanese people, directly affected by the 9.0 quake, tsunami, and nuclear power disaster, to the fourteen Democrat Wisconsin state senators and their union thug allies during the Wisconsin state budget crisis. Yeah, I know it's a bad comparison: the latter never even tried to measure up to the former.
6. I have declared a 'no-fly zone' in my apartment, and have a fly swatter to enforce it. Don't even try me, Flyddafi.
7. I was re-certified in CPR/AED the other day. How do they know I 'passed': the dummy's still dead.
8. Being unemployed sucks.
8a. It sucked so much, it made me go get a job.
9. I have some awesome friends and family. Just sayin'.
10. Psoriasis of nasal warts sucks. Glad I don't have it/any.
11. My former employer no longer has to worry about me on April 1.
11a. My new employer does...
12. It is really going to suck if there's no NFL season in 2011.
13. Unluckily for the NFL, I'll just make do with college football ;-)
14. The intellectual quality of the email scammers that I bait has significantly deteriorated.
14a. Now they're almost as stupid as the SEIU.
15. A friend recently told me that she didn't know what she felt like for dinner. I offered to find out.
15a. I didn't get to...
16. Another friend asked me to help her replace a door bell in her house. After I wired it up and was about to test it, the phone rang. I told her I didn't mean to do that. She's still laughing.
16a. She told a friend that she wanted a ding-dong to to fix her ding-dong. She had a point.
16b. It works, despite me.
17. Dammit, I knew I forgot something at the store.
17a. Worse dammit, I can't remember what I forgot.
18. They're holding online tryouts to find a new voice of the AFLAC Duck. Required for all prospective candidates, is on-off the job conduck that is in keeping with what AFLAC considers quacked up to their standards. AFter having just finished an order of Chinese crispy duck, I think I LAC the necessary life conDUCK to take a QUACK at this.
18a. I was out of duct tape, anyway.
19. My car needs gas.
19a. Too bad it can't use what works for me: about anything.
20. A medical research report says that if you're not in shape, sex is three times more likely to kill you.
20a. In shape or not, being hit by a falling safe is a billion times more likely to kill you.
20b. Unless you're animated.
21. So, the dysfunctional Ninth (short) Circuit Court of Appeals has struck down the 2005 'Stolen Valor Act' passed by Congress; in essence, the Court says that lying is protected by the First Amendment.
21a. The next tsunami really needs to take this court.
22. Have you ever tried to make a corsage out of pork rinds? Neither have I.
22a. I'll bet someone has...
23. My toaster fried.
23a. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to thaw frozen manicotti in there...
24. The elderly Chinese delivery dude -- after delivering my last order -- windedly informed me that I have "49 steps" (from parking lot to my door). I told him he needed to look for a shorter intervention program.
24a. He didn't get it...
* maybe it's high time I wipe off the walls..?
Labels: randomness allowed to grow like a weed, trying to figure out what I can hang from what's stuck to wall
posted by Skunkfeathers at 00:14
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10 Comments:
OMG!!! This list has me still laughing my #@$$$ off!!!
#15...too funny!!
#16...I am still laughing at
Oh hell...they are all brilliant!!
Good list!!
Hugs
SueAnn
Great list. Congrats on the job!
No NFL? My hubby will be very disappointed. However, with all the new rules, it isn't much of a game any more, too PC
Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com
what a fun list! lol Oh, and congrats on the new job!
4. Bill Maher is desperately vying with Michael Mooron to out-moron each other. Bwahahahahahaha. This is right on the money.
As for the 9th Circuit? They have been a piece of work for as long as I can remember. May Bill Maher and Michael Mooron is giving them advice.
Have a terrific day and weekend. :)
That's a lot of stuff to think about -- but hysterically funny!:-)
Hi Skunky! Awesome list. Number six is definitely my favorite. Flyddafi. Priceless!
I hate the pic on this post, though. I can't stand rodents. Not even dead ones. In pictures. On the internet. Where they can't get me. I hope.
OH NO!!!!! THEY'RE GONNA GET ME!!!!!
"6. I have declared a 'no-fly zone' in my apartment, and have a fly swatter to enforce it. Don't even try me, Flyddafi."
You always send me away chuckling, I love your crazy, warped mind!
Er, what's NFL? (Teehee..)
Guess what I remembered as soon as I read #17? If you're anything like me, it's the main thing you'd gone there specifically to get!
Skunks, hilarious as always! I read this right after you posted it, but just now getting around to LMAO.
Dang! I hate it when I'm too busy to laugh...
Congrats on the new jarb. Hope you enjoy the heck out of it...and go into it with the satisfaction that your previous employer lost a damn fine employee.
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