Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Seymour On Leonid, Yeti, Dishes


Seymour, for a pet rock, is easy to read.

"Am not!"

For a rock, he's also got good ears, for something without 'em.

Seymour, for example, listens to the radio when I do at home. Not only does he hear the news, he grasps it, to some level of juvenile comprehension. For example, Seymour just heard that the Leonid Meteor Shower is happening on the evening of November 16.

And he wants me to stop it.

"Seymour, it's a celestial event, quite beyond my ability to affect. It's going to happen. No power on Earth can stop it".

"AlGore can!"

"Wha...say WHAT???"

"AlGore can stop global warming! So I figure he can stop the slaughter of all those helpless meteors!"

"Seymour...AlGore is scamming you. He can't stop global warming, except by shutting his mouth".

"He...he is???"

"Yes, Seymour...he is. Why?"

"Uh..don't check your credit card bill too closely next month...".

*rrrrr*...Life with a pet rock.

During the recent two days of snow locally, I made reference to yetis and yak, snarling traffic on my commute to work into the mountains. Seymour saw it this way:

"What yeti? Where?! I wanna see!"

"Seymour, they're out there. But they're scary. You know, like that creature you saw on the first The Outer Limits (TOS) episode that had you hiding under the love seat for a week".

"Ooooooooooooooh..*shudders*...but if they were out there, then why won't you let me fix the DVD remote to better defend us?"

"Seymour, remember when you did that with my old VCR remote, and didn't tell me?"

"Uh, no...remind me.."

"Uh...I accidentally vaporized the refrigerator...and the apartment next door.."

"That's not my fault!"

"Seymour, relax...yeti avoid people. They won't bother us up here".

"But the yaks will!"

"The yaks won't bother us, either".

"Uh-huh they will!"

"How, Seymour?"

"Everytime you get sick, YOU yak!"

"TMI and not the same thing, Seymour..."

Life with a pet rock.

And, of course, there was the time I forgot to power down the computer before I went to work. When I got home...

"Seymour, what are you doing?"

"Surfing the 'Web!"

"How is a pet rock surfing the 'web? And look what you did to the key board!!!"

"Uh..yeah..buy a stronger keyboard next time, you cheapskate!"

*Ugh*..."So, what did you learn on the 'web?"

"I learned that your dishes reveal your personality?"

*OMG*..."Okay, Seymour...what do my dishes tell you?"

"That you're chipped and haven't been done in a month..." *rimshot*

There's something really wrong with a pet rock, having access to a *rimshot*. Besides...it's been longer than a month, and I digress.

"Hahahaha"

"Not funny, Seymour".

My offer to pay the shipping for anyone who wants a pet rock, still stands.

"Does not!"

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11 Comments:

Blogger The Dental Maven said...

Seymour's not alone. Many with rocks in their head believe Al Gore.

17 November, 2009 05:48  
Blogger Debbie said...

Seymore should debate Al Gore, wouldn't that be something???

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

17 November, 2009 07:35  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

If AlGore won't take on Sir Christopher Monckton, you can bet he won't try Seymour...Seymour has geology down to a science...*TOING*

17 November, 2009 07:55  
Blogger Sandee said...

Al Gore is a windbag, but there's a lot of them out there. We seem to be surrounded by them lately.

I'll pass on the pet rock. I can't take that much action. Just saying.

Have a terrific day. :)

17 November, 2009 08:09  
Blogger A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

I'd love to have Seymour. He sounds perfectly charming and witty.

17 November, 2009 08:49  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

LMM: he'd be a great juror. No change in expression, when he wants to be stoic.

17 November, 2009 09:01  
Blogger Serena said...

Can Seymour come and work in my office? He sounds a heck of a lot smarter than my Skank Girl.:)

17 November, 2009 19:50  
Blogger ChristinaJade said...

Send Seymour to Auntie CJ for a week of basking in the tumbler and a polishing cloth. He might also be amused with hanging out in my box turtle's aquarium. I make no promises about my turtle's intentions... :)

17 November, 2009 23:03  
Blogger Herb said...

I have a pet rock, too, but he's a male named Rocky, so I don't know how he'd get on with another male. Besides, he's special. How long before AlGore's prophecies time comes and goes and then can we scream, "He preyed upon our fears!!!"? I just finished Chricton's "State of Fear" so Global Warming chicanery makes me shake my head.

18 November, 2009 08:29  
Blogger Sniffles and Smiles said...

Seymour is an extremely petulant and annoying rock! But so much fun to read about...I hope no one takes you up on your offer...In your capable author hands, that pet rock is a veritable goldmine of brilliantly funny blog posts. Another slam dunk, my friend!!! Hugs, Janine

18 November, 2009 15:44  
Blogger The Things We Carried said...

Seymour is a mix of a toddler, teen, and puppy all in one rock!

18 November, 2009 23:03  

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