Seymour On Leonid, Yeti, Dishes

Seymour, for a pet rock, is easy to read.

"Am not!"

For a rock, he's also got good ears, for something without 'em.

Seymour, for example, listens to the radio when I do at home. Not only does he hear the news, he grasps it, to some level of juvenile comprehension. For example, Seymour just heard that the Leonid Meteor Shower is happening on the evening of November 16.

And he wants me to stop it.

"Seymour, it's a celestial event, quite beyond my ability to affect. It's going to happen. No power on Earth can stop it".

"AlGore can!"

"Wha...say WHAT???"

"AlGore can stop global warming! So I figure he can stop the slaughter of all those helpless meteors!"

"Seymour...AlGore is scamming you. He can't stop global warming, except by shutting his mouth".

"He...he is???"

"Yes, Seymour...he is. Why?"

"Uh..don't check your credit card bill too closely next month...".

*rrrrr*...Life with a pet rock.

During the recent two days of snow locally, I made reference to yetis and yak, snarling traffic on my commute to work into the mountains. Seymour saw it this way:

"What yeti? Where?! I wanna see!"

"Seymour, they're out there. But they're scary. You know, like that creature you saw on the first The Outer Limits (TOS) episode that had you hiding under the love seat for a week".

"Ooooooooooooooh..*shudders*...but if they were out there, then why won't you let me fix the DVD remote to better defend us?"

"Seymour, remember when you did that with my old VCR remote, and didn't tell me?"

"Uh, no...remind me.."

"Uh...I accidentally vaporized the refrigerator...and the apartment next door.."

"That's not my fault!"

"Seymour, relax...yeti avoid people. They won't bother us up here".

"But the yaks will!"

"The yaks won't bother us, either".

"Uh-huh they will!"

"How, Seymour?"

"Everytime you get sick, YOU yak!"

"TMI and not the same thing, Seymour..."

Life with a pet rock.

And, of course, there was the time I forgot to power down the computer before I went to work. When I got home...

"Seymour, what are you doing?"

"Surfing the 'Web!"

"How is a pet rock surfing the 'web? And look what you did to the key board!!!"

"Uh..yeah..buy a stronger keyboard next time, you cheapskate!"

*Ugh*..."So, what did you learn on the 'web?"

"I learned that your dishes reveal your personality?"

*OMG*..."Okay, Seymour...what do my dishes tell you?"

"That you're chipped and haven't been done in a month..." *rimshot*

There's something really wrong with a pet rock, having access to a *rimshot*. Besides...it's been longer than a month, and I digress.

"Hahahaha"

"Not funny, Seymour".

My offer to pay the shipping for anyone who wants a pet rock, still stands.

"Does not!"