Saturday, April 3, 2021

The Sherri Gallagher Chronicles

This is NOT Sherri Gallagher.  This person may well factor in to a future episode, but for now she is NOT Sherri Gallagher.

Here is how my character is hearing from this latest incarnation of Sherri Jo Gallagher (since I do believe I've heard from and written about her before):

Hello, I hope that COVID-19 has not affected you. Did you receive my previous message?

I did not recall having so heard, but eh:

Covid in any version has not affected me.
No, I didn't receive your massage.  Did I miss something stimulatingly sensuous?

It becomes pretty clear that this version of Sherri Jo Gallagher does not read what's been writ back to her:

Hi Jack, thank you for your respond. How are you today? I hope you are doing good in this New Year 2021. May this new year bring success, good health and victory to you and your family!!.

Like I have already said, my name is Sherri Jo Gallagher from Arizona-United States. I am an American soldier who holds 22 United States national rifle records. In 2010, I was named the U.S. Army Soldier of the Year.

I have a business project and I would like to invest in your country. So please, kindly advice me in this aspect for our both mutual benefits.  Let me know some areas of investment that can bring good income if I have to invest in it.  It will be my utmost pleasure to achieve my project in your country with your maximum cooperation. 

However, If I should invest in your country to establish business partnership with you, it will create a good job opportunity for the youth of your country and in doing so we have made a vital impact to the life of others over there. And also to support the orphanage (charity work) by putting a smile on their face and giving hope to the hopeless. That is my vision in doing this.

Thanks and God bless you.

Sherri Jo Gallagher   

This is the actual Sherri Jo Gallagher:

And I am pretty farging sure that the one I'm hearing from ain't her:

Are you a crack shot? Or just a crack shooter?  

And we meander on down the scammer prick road:

Thank you Jack for your message. How are you today and your family? 

I would have wanted us to have an oral conversation but here in the military zone we are not allowed to make use of mobile phone or data communications are not in the peacekeeping's' kits. We have been restricted to such gadgets in the military zone for security reasons. We only make use of radio message and email communication, please let us continue communicating through email for the mean time.
                                          The Investment Project Target

I am now on a Peacekeeping Mission at the US military Base camp in Syria, I pick interest in you while going through your profile. As I have already said, I would like to ESTABLISH mutual friendship with you which will lead us into a business partnership. Please our communication can only be through email for now, I am in a military camp. .

For sure, I like your state so much and I have heard a lot of good things about there so that made me to have the dream of visiting there one day and also for my business project investment after my military peacekeeping assignment here in Syria.

I am really busy and I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me. However, I really want to establish a true relationship that may lead into a business partnership that will lead us to a better place if we work well on it..Please i want you to understand that I am a woman with conscience and good mind, I do not want you to be angry with me. Mind you if your are married, I promise that I will not disturb your marriage and family, but just to have a good friend whom you can talk to, share ideals with

I am writing this message to you on trust from my heart and I know that this message might come to you as a surprise because we don't know each other nor have we ever met before but accept it with an open and positive mind.

My dreams and aspirations have been to be among the good people to make the world a better place, hence I joined the military force (Army). I have served in the Military for years but due to the nature of my career, I am not married yet and not even in a relationship because I can not make time for family. I came from a single parent.. I want to have a family of my own I can be proud of. However, I can only have it outside the States hence I wish to have a fresh start in your State if you will consider helping me visit you and me as part of you and your family, I will really be glad.

I wish to relocate to your State as soon as I am done from the Military, so I have the intention of buying houses,  investing into Land and Real Estate construction in your State and also investing my savings there in your State through you as my partner or personal agent. I need a good property that you can assist me to acquire. I hope we can work on it and more other areas of investment ... I am also interested in Agriculture, but I do not know about agriculture there if it is a good target of investment too...Please let me know even if there are any other areas for such projects which can bring good income in return. In this project, my budget estimate will be around 2 Million USD.

If you have a property or can work as my agent to help me acquire property in your country and also invest my savings in any good business, kindly reply to me . I will reward you with 30% of the amount for helping me after the work is well done. All my investment will be made through you and under your care and control as I will like the investment company to be called (JACK & SHERRI COMPANY) or J & S Company.

However, If I should invest in your State to establish business partnership with you, it will create a good job opportunity for the youth of your State and in doing so we have made a vital impact to the life of others over there. And also to support the orphanage (charity work) by putting a smile on their face and giving hope to the hopeless. That is my vision in doing this.

For me, I do a lot of exercises which makes me averagely built, i am mentally stable and physically fit, am God fearing, honest and very romantic, am a very optimistic person, am reserved and simply down to earth, I love to play golf. In terms of religion, I am a Christian, never judge others and I am very compassionate. I like watching movies at home, I like swimming, fishing, listening to music, I also travel a lot because of the nature of my job, and am also a good cook.... I am a family oriented person, I believe there is more to know and learn about ourselves with time.

I want to start a very strong relationship with you and my relationship with you will bring about great changes in your life. I want you to understand that the relationship between the both of us does not take into account distance, age and religion, perhaps we can start as a friend or go into a business partnership with my funds that I need to invest with urgent help.

What do you do to live to overcome the economic costs and keep your life and family presently? I know we do not know each other much yet but we can share ideas and discuss important things and more questions when we talk about ourselves, I like to think positively, and I'm interested in the feelings of other people.

I will be very happy to know more about you like your hobbies, interests, way of life, religious beliefs, I will also be happy to hear from you. Now let me stop here, I expect to respond urgently to you soon.

I want you to understand that where there is respect, love and understanding distance will never be a barrier to friendship.

Never forget to pray for me always for the protection of God here in this war zone, I strongly believe that with God all things are possible.

I wait for your kind reply.   

Yes, her scam Gawd does make certain thangs possumbull alright:

The Jack and Sherri Company.

I like the sound of that.

I would be okay with the Sherri Crack Shooting Wench and Jack Company too.  Just sayin'.

But let's avoid anything Jack 'n Jill; she bites, and not in nice places.

A sense of urgency creeps into her next respond:

Dear Jack, I want you to know that we are being attacked by insurgents every day and car bombs and during one of our rescue mission we found a large collection of 7.62 Kalashnikov ammo along with boxes contain huge amount of money that belongs to the sponsors and supporter of ISIS, the extremist militant group, also known as Islamic State, which I believe was money meant for buying more weapons and ammunition, and it was agreed by all Army officers present on that rescue mission that the money will be shared among us and which we did. Out of the total fund my share was $4,700,000.00 USD (Four Million Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only) I am seeking your assistance to evacuate and receive my share of the money out of this country Syria to your own country for you to keep it safe on my behalf till i come over to meet you.

I will like you to assure me that if this money is been delivered to you in your country that you are going to be trustworthy to keep the money till when I will come to your country to meet you face to face to collect the money back from you and for the investment project and it clear to me that you might be scared of this proposal, but I want to let you know that I have made solid arrangements with a Diplomatic Courier delivery company by name and they have promised to deliver the Cash Box through diplomatic method to you. This delivery is going to be handled legally by the Courier delivery Company and there will not be any form of risk involved in the process and the money will be packed safely in a trunk case and the same box will be delivered to you.

Please, Like I said before, I shall reward you with 30% of the total money once after the cash box is delivered to you for work well done, while the rest balance shall be my investment capital in your country. In this investment partnership, you will control it because I believe you know your country better and have good connections for the success of this great dream.

Conclusively, upon your positive response, I will make all the information known to you. 

I wait to receive your acceptable reply as soon as you read this letter.   

Since you're a crap shot, you should be able to bowl them over like duck pins in snorting gallery.  Have any of the insurgents used the COVID avenue of attack yet?  Or the 'woke' strategy of attacking culture?  This is every important if you love Pepe LePew.  

Sherri Jo apparently has no thought for anything but her scam template:

Dear Jack, I would like you to send your information as I required below so that I can submit it to the courier shipping company to enable them to proceed to your address for the final delivery of the cash box to your provided address.

Please send me your information to submit to the courier shipping company.

Your full names...
Your address...
Zip code...
Telephone number...
Mobile number:....

Take care of yourself and your children, while I expect hearing from you for further arrangement.

Thanks and God bless you..

Respectfully yours,
Sherri Jo Gallagher

Funny that this is the first time she claims to be operating out of the US Military Base Camp in....*drum roll*...Damascus, Syria.  DOH.

Add to that my pet rocks Seymour and Element are thrilled to fill in as my "children", though their immediate demands for allowance are an annoyance:

I'll be happy to, long as this doesn't add me to your enemies list, requiring that I get kevlar curtains put up on the front of mein haus:

Your full names...Jack N. Ewehoff
Your address...361 XXXXXXX Street  
Zip code...80427
City...Central City CO 
Telephone number...303-XXX-XXXX
Mobile number:....same   

And now we wait to see who her courier shipping company is...

Hello Jack, good morning and thank you very much for your response with the information as I requested from you. I have submitted the information to the courier delivery company.

I do not want you to see this proposal as something that will bring problem to you, but i want you to trust and believe me when I say that there is nothing to worry about in this deal, honestly I have made every necessary arrangement that will lead to safe delivery of the fund save box to you without any form of problem nor risk. Like I said already, this is pure and legitimate delivery to you in a diplomatic system which is 100% highly legitimate.

Please my advice is that you should use the below message and send it to the Courier Shipping company, please you should also send your driving license or passport to them for proper identification, so that when they arrive for the delivery there will be no mistake.ok

Kindly send the below message and your driver's license or Passport copy to the courier  company contact email addresses as I wrote below. kindly do that immediately.
(Naturally, I can't just send the email she had crafted for my character to the shipping company as she wrote it; it receives a few enhancements and forwards like this h'yar)


Dear Sir/ Madam/assordid other choices, most of which are abject ca-ca,

I am Jack N. Ewehoff, standing here beside myself after learning that my partner SHERRI JO GALLAGHER, has let her warranty from India expire while galavanting in Dumbasscus, Syrial.  

I do like to know when would you be able to send to me her new warranty... Confirm to me the details are due time please.

Your early response on this regard would be highly appreciated.

Thank you,
Jack N. Ewehoff
Address: 361 XXXXXXX Street, 
City:.. Central City CO
Zip code:..80427
Country:.. USA
Telephone: +1 XXX-XXX-XXXX

Now to see how attentive her chosen shippers are...*Jeopardy Theme Song*

It turns out, not all that attentive:

We acknowledge the receipt of your email and instruct that you revert back to us with the below requirement for proper accreditation of cargo on our technological machine that will enable us provide your tracking number, airway bill receipt and commercial invoice;
*** Name:.........
*** Address:......
*** Phone number:.
*** Scacn copy of your International Passport or Driver's License.
We anticipate your urgent positive response alongside with the above requirement so as to enable us commerce further without any further delay.
Always at your service.
Thank you.
Dean S.
Customer Relationship Manager
No reviews • Logistics

My character responds thus:

Why soitenly:

*** Name:.........Jack N. Ewehoff
*** Address:......4334 Whittier Blvd  Los Angeles CA 90023
*** Phone number:.303-XXX-XXXX
*** Scacn copy of your International Passport or Driver's License.

Though they received Jack's usual "address", now they get to dig me up from a cemetery in Los Angeles.  Jack even has an ID for the occasion, though a visually reduced version is sent to them:

Meantime, Sherri Jo wishes not to be left out of this "family affair":

Good morning Jack,

Alright, always keep me updated.

Thank you.   

But of course.  Your courier partner has commerced me for procedure.  Naturally I am responding in  accordian with your wishes.   

Sherri Jo is pleased:

Dear Jack, 

Thank you very much for your help update.

Thank you and God bless you as I look forward to reading from you.   

Meantime, there's the shipping company:

Dear Customer, JACK N. EWEHOFF,
Date: March 23rd, 2021
Kindly be informed that your shipment is mandated to be delivered by a diplomatic agent diplomatically at your provided residential address in the USA.
After proper documentation and inputting your information received from SHERRI JO GALLAGHER, into our Database Encrypted System (DES), your shipments with the Reference No: 9221518/UNIVERSAL have been signed and sealed by ESCALATE Express Logistics and ready for dispatch to your final destination respectively.
Below are your Tracking details and information.
Copy this link for your Broadway ESCALATE EXPRESS DELIVERY & LOGISTICS tracking operations:

Tracking Number: EEDL1037410125DC
Use the above tracking details to know the current location and situation of your shipment. Please make sure you monitor this shipment until you receive the shipment and sign in your names with our official diplomat, Your shipment is estimated to arrive in your country on 26-03-2021.
Everything has been in order, We have registered and attached your delivery airway bill receipt and commercial invoice for your perusal. Kindly confirm to us as soon as you receive our email in accordance that everything is correct. to enable us to ascertain that everything is in accord respectively.
Please Note: Your Parcel is completely sealed and labelled as a diplomatic Parcel and a qualified diplomatic agent has been assigned to deliver it to you exclusively. please follow all the professional decisions of the diplomat, when he comes to your country, kindly follow his instructions as lawfully advised, to make sure you receive the parcel without any difficulties.
You are advised to be with your mobile phone regularly and have access to internet always check your email because, as soon as the Diplomat arrives in your destination in your country and hands over the Parcel to you directly in-accordance to your name, you will kindly confirm the content of the shipment in the presence of the diplomat and kindly sign on the receipt which the diplomat will give to you, As confirmation of Shipment Received.
Please as soon as you receive the shipment, kindly inform us for our references and records.
Your satisfaction is our prime Objective and Priority. If you have any questions to ask us, feel free to contact us below.
Always at your service.
Thank you.
Dean S.
Customer Relationship Manager
No reviews • Logistics
 I love how it's being delivered by a diplomat "diplomatically".  There's great comfort in hearing that.  

 I am gratified and greatly comforted to know that your diplomat will make the delivery diplomatically.

It's always the small things that matter.   

They also attached two documents to the shipping notice, one or both of which I'm sure get around to paying the bill for the shipment -- the *TOING* of the scam as it were -- in which they hope I'll send them $990.

And of course, time to keep Sherri Jo apprised of progress:

The shipping company has assured me that a diplomat will be delivering the shipment diplomatically.  I trust you'll find the same comfort in that which I did.   

Sherri Jo didn't respond to that, but I am sure that she was as comforted as I was.

A day or two later, she wanted more:

How are you doing?
What is the update with the shipment? Has it arrived?   

Time to start to turn the screws a tad:

Yes, it has, Sherri Jo, and I must say that I am a bit disappointed and surprised at you for sending me this.  Wow.  Just wow.   

Meantime, the shipping company is getting impatient about receiving payment so their diplomat can make a delivery diplomatically:

Mr. Jack where are you going to send the fees for delivery?  Our diplomatic is waiting to hear from you?   

I have no idea what your diplomatic is waiting on.  I sent the money as instructed three days ago, via my preferred Jurassic Air Courier service.  If your diplomatic had a sheep awaiting arrival, he should have had the fee by now.

Now it's time to crank up the 'fun' with Sherri Jo:

It has arrived!  Your box is here.  However, I do have to say that what arrived isn't exactly what you'd led me to believe was coming.  This really has a cash value?   

This is what I lead her to believe arrived:

A box full of Iraqi dinars.  Current exchange value to US dollars....about $3200.  Not $4.7 million.  This should be amusing:

I want you to know that what I told is exactly what is in the box. Mind you that it is only you and I that know there is money in the box. Because I registered and the box as FAMILY TREASURE (Gift Items)

Kindly keep this highly confidential and private, ok.

Kindly keep me updated.   

Time for some bubble busting:

Well, Sherri Jo...either someone hasn't been totally honest with you, or someone has swindled us both.
The box I received from the courier company had no USD cash.  It was full of what I have learned are Iraqi dinars.  Instead of millions in USD, the Iraqi dinar equivalence to the USD is, at best, a scant few thousand in USD equivalence.

Who were you working with over there?  Looks like they screwed you over.   

*Jeopardy Theme music* while I wait...   

Meanwhile, the courier company and Sherri Jo are not keeping up with one another:

Dear Valued Customer JACK N. EWEHOFF, 
Date: MARCH 26TH, 2021

We wish to bring to your notice that your exclusive diplomatic SPECIAL consignment is presently in USA, ARKANSAS INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT- (BYH) ARKANSAS, USA. Under detention by the Custom/Border Authorities.

However, the customs agent in charge at the diplomatic entrance checkpoint, requested for the International Duty Of Non Inspection Certificate and Customs Transit fee before the shipment will be permitted to be conveyed across the country to your home residence in USA respectively.

We have made inquiry in this regards, for the Obtainment of the required International Duty Of Non Inspection Certificate and the official cost to get and procure the diplomatic requirements and Customs Certification is $1,375.00 USD only as you will confirm from the US Customs Proforma invoice.

The fastest place to obtain the Customs Duty Clearance Certificate is in USA with your Shipment Reference No: 9221518/UNIVERSAL.

Meanwhile, Our Attorney General will use his power of attorney as a legal practitioner to appeal for the immediate receipt of the required Custom International Duty Of Non Inspection Certificate, to avoid delays in this processes for the immediate release of your shipment to your destination, you are assured of swift satisfaction with our noble firm.

We await your response for the procurement of the certification, for the obtainment of the required Custom International Duty Of Non Inspection Certificate on behalf of your shipment, for the release of your shipment to your house of residence in USA.

The diplomatic Agent made us understand that the International Duty Of Non Inspection Certificate should be obtained as soon as possible, for the release of your shipment to your residential address. Once the shipment is approved and released the diplomatic Agent will proceed to your house address as registered and hand over the shipment to you.

Below are your Tracking details for your confirmation.


Tracking Number: EEDL1037410125DC

Your swift response is awaited, it is our pleasure to serve you better

Once again, Welcome to ESCALATE EXPRESS DELIVERY & LOGISTICS Dispatch.

Always at your service.

Thank you.

Awwwww...only $1375.  

Ah, only $1375.  You must be having blue light specials this week.  
I'll get right on that.   

On the other hand, Sherri Jo has read my last and is not very happy 'bout it:

Dear Jack, how can you make such a statement. According to the Courier company the shipment arrived in US yesterday, so how can you say that "someone has swindled us both"

I am not in Iraq and has nothing to do with Iraq...So why tell me about Iraq?

The courier company wrote to me and made me understand that they contacted you with all the shipment information and documents the day they made the shipment.

So why are you making negative statements like that? I am highly optimistic that you have been tracking the shipment right from the day they shipped the consignment box to you.   

My response is not calculated to ease her onset of anxiety:

I can make such a statement, Sherri Jo Babycakes, because of this picture of the unboxed shipment I received (and I include this photo):  

What say you now?   

More *Jeopardy Theme music* before Sherri Jo gets back to me with:

Hi Jack I saw the picture you sent to me, my question is what is that and who sent that to you???   JAck have you track the shipment with the Tracking number????, which I sent to you and it confirms that it is already there in US.   

Yes, Sherri Jo, I already KNOW the shipment is in the US.  Because it's already HERE.

Having already answered your questions, I shall happily and with patience and forbearance do so again:  that picture is the picture that I took of the contents of the box that I received from the shipping company.  The bills therein were assorted Iraqi dinars, not US dollars.

What exactly are you trying to pull on me, Sherri Jo?  I thought you were a straight arrow.  Or has the shipping company duped you as well as me?  Ask yourself what would the shipping company gain by substituting US dollars for near to worthless Iraqi dinars?

That reply brought an end to any further repartee with Sherri Jo and her delivery company.  

Oh well...until next scam...

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