2021, The FBI...And Moi

This could just as easily be today's FBI, scam version or not.

Long on the deterioration train thanks to leftist ideology and corruption, accelerated by the Obola regime, and hitting pretty close to rock bottom with four years of "get Orange Man Bad" by any illicit means possible.

Today's FBI is sad.

So the scam version I'm always hearing from is...meh:

Anti-Terrorist And Monetary Crimes Division
FBI Headquarters, Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation
J.Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, Nw Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
www.fbi.gov

Welcome to FBI.gov | Federal Bureau of Investigation FBI Homepage with links to news, services, stories and information of interest to the public. www.fbi.gov

ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY

This e-mail has been issued to you in order to Officially inform you that we have completed an investigation on an International Payment in which was issued to you by an International Lottery Company. With the help of our newly developed technology (International Monitoring Network System) we discovered that your e-mail address was automatically selected by an Online Balloting System, this has legally won you the sum of $17.4 million USD from a Lottery Company outside the United States of America. During our investigation we discovered that your e-mail won the money from an Online Balloting System and we have authorized this winning to be paid to you via INTERNATIONAL CERTIFIED BANK DRAFT.

Normally, it will take up to 5 business days for an INTERNATIONAL CERTIFIED BANK DRAFT by your local bank. We have successfully notified this company on your behalf that funds are to be drawn from a registered bank within the world Wide,so as to enable you cash the check instantly without any delay, henceforth the stated amount of $17.4 million USD has been deposited with IMF .We have completed this investigation and you are hereby approved to receive the winning prize as we have verified the entire transaction to be Safe and 100% risk free, due to the fact that the funds have been deposited with IMF you will be required to settle the following bills directly to the Lottery Agent in-charge of this transaction whom is located in Benin Republic. According to our discoveries, you were required to pay for the following,

(1) Deposit Fee's ( IMF INTERNATIONAL CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE )
(2) Shipping Fee's ( This is the charge for shipping the Cashier's Check
to your home address)

The total amount for everything is $250.00 We have tried our possible best to indicate that this $250.00 should be deducted from your winning prize but we found out that the funds have already been deposited to IMF and cannot be accessed by anyone apart from you the winner, therefore you will be required to pay the required fee's to the Agent in-charge of this transaction In order to proceed with this transaction, you will be required to contact the agent in-charge ( Mr.Mark Edward ) via e-mail. Kindly look below to find appropriate

contact information:
CONTACT AGENT NAME: Mr.Mark Edward
E-MAIL== edwardmark83@aol.com
Telephone == +229-9965-4330
You will be required to e-mail him with the following information:
FULL NAME:
ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
ZIP CODE:
DIRECT CONTACT NUMBER:
OCCUPATION:

You will also be required to request Western Union or Money Gram details on how to send the required $250.00 in order to immediately ship your prize of $17.4 million USD via INTERNATIONAL CERTIFIED BANK DRAFT from IMF, also include the following transaction code in order for him to immediately identify this transaction : EA2948-710. This letter will serve as proof that the Federal Bureau Of Investigation is authorizing you to pay the required $250.00 ONLY to Mr.Mark Edward  via information in which he shall send to you,

Christopher A Wray
Federal Bureau of Investigation F B I
Yours in Service,Photograph of Director
Christopher Wray,vii1 Director Office of Public
Affairs Welcome once more to FBI
I am Mrs Jill Biden and I am writing to inform you about your Bank Check Draft brought by United Embassy from the government of Benin Republic to the white house Washington DC and has been mandated to be deliver to your address as soon as you get back to me with your below information.

Home address:..................
City:...................................
Phone number...................
You check is containing the sum of $60 million USD.

Here is my number.(202) 852-3651) you can call me or send me an sms, but i prefer sms because I'm always busy in the white house and i can`t be able to pick calls all the time.

I will be waiting to hear from you with your full information immediately you receive this good news, thanks and God bless you. Remember to move this message to your inbox mail before you can respond to my email address which is (firstladymrsjillbiden1@aol.com) so i can be able to receive your email

Remain Blessed,
Email: firstladymrsjillbiden1@aol.com
Yours faithfully
Mrs Jill Biden   

Please to note that this opening salvo came from the alleged spouse of the alleged fauxtus now sitting in the White House with little clue as to what he's doing there.

My character's reply cut through most of the literary defecation:

Jill Bidumb is every bit as tree stump stupid as her spouse.

And so is the FBI that's going along with this.   

Now I and my character thought that my reply was clear enough.  Not the follow up character on the other end of the scam though:

 What do you mean ?

Mr Mark Edward   

Let's find out what I mean:

Since you're an fbi agent of dubious antecedence, you should, at the very least, be able to fathom my initial reply using teh Gooble transloot feature.

But, here it is a bit more plainly:  Jill Bidumb is the intellectual inferior of a tree stump.  Her dementia-afflicted spouse is no better.

And neither, for that matter, are you.

Did you hear me now?   

He heard me now...but didn't understand a word:

My dear are you sending the $250 to receive your win funds ?   

Oh hell....game on:

Now there you go:  more negative waves.  Have a little faith, baby.  Have a little faith.

What $250 to receive what funds?

Are you sure this isn't the Hazzard County Sheriff's Orifice, Sheriff Roscoe P. Coaltrane that I'm being contacted by?   

It's clear that I have another of those "IQ of a toilet paper tube" types here:

My dear you will receive your win sum of $17.4millions after you have send the $250 today and I assure you that you will receive your funds this Friday Ok . So how do you plan to send the fee to enable me complete the delivery of your win funds to you ? Can you use the fee buy Google play card or iTunes gift card and get back to me with the pictures of cards or do you prefer to send the fee for Western Union or MoneyGram ?   

I decide to try out my alternative shipping method first:

I will dispatch the fee via secured courier Jurassic Air Services.  Where do they deliver to you at?   

My dear can you send the fee for Western Union or MoneyGram ?   

My darling, I'd prefer to use Jurassic Air.  They've never failed me in getting the kind of business you're giving me here yet.   

But Marky Mark is intent on other means:

My dear go and send the fee for Western Union or MoneyGram Ok . Or you order the card online now and get back to me with the pictures of cards.   

Are you talking about one of these (see above which I attached)? 

No you can buy iTunes gift card or Google play card Ok .   

The deterioration of the FBI aside, the scam FBI is really imploding.

What about an Amazon.com gift card?   

At this point, Marky Mark is easy, having come to conclude that I am falling for his stzrok:

You can get Amazon gift card and get back to me with it Ok .   

I will see which one I can find and get back to you.  this is all so exciting.   

About exciting as an FBI hooker, anyway.

Meantime, Marky Mark betrays his impatience to receive a photo of the front and back of the card, so he can scam the amount and leave my character hanging:

Okay , am waiting for your response back to me as soon as you get it .   

That's followed by a couple of "have you got it yet?" emails.

I let him hang a spell while I round up these:

...and...

...which I am only too happy to tell Marky Mark that I have:

I have just return from get the card yet.

I have it now.  What do you wish me do?   

Dear send me front and back of card soonest please.   

I am only too happy to comply with the following add on:

Here you go.  I hope your expectations for success achieve the same level as I've had all along here.   

I follow that up with this:

So you got your $250 card.  When do I get an FBI caravan delivering my millions?  I need to let the pet pterodactyl know so he doesn't eat them when they arrive.

It becomes clear in short order that his expectations are NOT met in the manure for which he intended me:

You think this is funny matter?  i am fbi.  You wish be arrested?

I've been accused of arrested development for years.  What's one more time?  I'll have coffee and donuts waiting.   

Alas, ol' Marky Mark and his friends the Bidumbs came up short.  Not that Joe would have noticed, anyway.