Scammers Overplay The FBI in Scamland

Perhaps it'll one day get to this point for real, if Dems get their totalitarian wishes fulfilled.

For now, this IS the way it is in Scamland.

I have no shortage of scam emails from the 'FBI' these days.

I guess they have little else to do but harass Trump voters and anti-vaxxers.

The latest from Scamland:

Federal Bureau of Investigation
Anti-Terrorist and Monitory Crime Division

Attention!

Series of meetings was held in the past 2 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $ 7,500,000.00 due Past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who has taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and elimination delay in the receipt.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation has passed a ruling to the president of United States President Joe Biden to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations Who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery / Gambling, Inheritance and the likes.

Now an arrangement has been made which indicate that you will be paid by ATM card or Bank Draft.

We have signed a contract with FedEx which should expire by August 30th 2021; you will only need to pay $ 350 instead of $ 750 saving you $ 400 if you pay before August 20th 2021.

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the United States Government, The United Nation and the FBI, including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you need to pay is $ 350.

To have the release of your fund valued at $ 7,500,000.00 you are advised to contact our correspondent delivery officer Mr. Joseph Moore with the information below.

Mr. Joseph Moore

Full Name:
Address:
Home / Cell Phone:

Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Sarah C. Robert   

It's nice that Scamland's FBI thinks I can be jerked off into giving up money.

My two pet rocks, Seymour and Element, weren't interested in editing the latest from the Scamland FBI, so it fell to me:

From: Mrs. Sarah C. Robert

Sent: Wednesday, August 11, 2021 4:40 PM
Subject: Good News === You Can Save Monkey By Switching to The Federal Burrito of Ingestigation

 

The Federal Burrito of Ingestigation
Anti-Uncle and Mammory Division

Attention!

Series of meetings was held in the past 2 months with the suckretary genital of the Eunuched Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago with a party line vote of 7 haves, 5 have nots, 6 want nots, a non-committal pet rock and assordid members in various stages of painful rectal itch. It is obvious that you have not heard about this from the lamestream servile mediocres because they are too busy hiding their genitals in bread sticks and Hot Pockets due to Past corrupt Governmental Officials and key episodes of South Park.

  The illegitimate imbecile in the White House, Joe Bidumb, was all set to comment about this when he went off script and declared war on Uranus for helping the Taliban in Portland.

The Numbskull Burro of Interpollack enhanced by the Eunuched Nations and Federal Burrito of Ingestigation has passed a ruling to the illegitimate Perv of the US Joe Bidumb to boost the exercise of beta males in the DNC being leased out as sex toys to yaks and yetis in upper Michigan, the only hope that Wretched Whitmer has of retaining her seat in the House of Bungstarters.

Now an arrangement has been made which indicate that you will be billed for how many miles you drive a golf ball.

We have signed a contract with Spaced Exes which should expire not in time for your last 59 alimony payments.  The good news there:  if you don't have an ex, one will be appointed to you by the 9th Short Circuit Court of Appeals of Laughter by August 30th 2021; you will only need to pay $ 750 instead of what you weren't paying in the first place.

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Democrap National Crimemittee, maligNANCY the head cancer polyp.  The Eunuched Nations and the FBI merely provided transcripts of sleeptalkers quoting nonsense to their spied-upon Amazon Alexas during simulated sleep sex with a Yugo.

To have the release of your conscience, you are advised to contact our correspondent delivery officer Mr. Joseph Moore with the information below.

Mr. Joseph Moore
Full Name:
Address:
Home / Cell Phone:

He will have absolutely no idea what to do with any of that information, but at least he'll have the thrill of getting something in his email box.

As is more common than not, the originating scammer had no idea how to reply to this edit, let alone any inclination to try.

I wonder why...???