A Trans Soldier Invades Uranus...in Scamland

 My pet rocks, Seymour and Element, have a sense of the greater universe around them.

They feel as if they are a part of it.

Then I show them a scam email, and it's a universe that they want stopped, so they can get off.

Until, that is, one of them gets a mental *TOING* that sends them into 'editing pet rock gone wild' mode.

This time it's Seymour.

And the subject of Seymour's edit?  An email from an alleged captain in the US Army in Syria, needing help moving two found trunks of money from th'yah to h'yah.

Even my deactivated Amazon Alexa facepalmed this one.

Here's how the alleged captain begins:

For your kind attention.

I apologize if the content of my email is contrary to your moral
ethics but I find it advantageous to offer you my partnership in
business. I am Capt.Benson Mumo, an officer in the US ARMY presently
serving in the Military with the 82nd Airborne Division Peacekeeping
Force here in the US Military Base in Syria. I need your help in
assisting me with the safekeeping of Two Military Trunk Boxes.

I hope you can be trusted? If you can be trusted, I will explain
further when I get a response from you for further clarification.
Nevertheless, please ensure to reply via my private email:
(bensonmumo01@gmail.com).

Thanks for your understanding and cooperation, God bless you and America!!!

Best Regards,
Capt.Benson Mumo
US ARMY. (PRESENTLY IN SYRIA).   

The 'best regards' always amuses me.

But not Seymour, as can be told in the following edit that disrupts the space-time continuum...or at least seeks to:

 From: Capt.Bensonmum <kenethbuggie45@gmail.com>

Sent: Wednesday, August 18, 2021 1:27 PM

Subject: From Capt.Bensonmum

 

For your kind of attention, whatever that kind is.

I apologize if the content of my email is contrary to what you
normally get but I find it advantageous to disturb you because

I have been officially branded as not getting along with others

so I am a bit of a petty prick.  

That said, I am Capt. Bensonmum, an ociffer in the US ARMY.  I am related

to a former professional butler, Bensonmum, who died during the making

of a peculiar movie.

I am presently undergoing training to change my designated gender 

and involved in the planning and executing of an official invasion of the planet

Uranus by our trans-gendered farces the dems are forcing us to 

become.  And I really liked being a guy, but I digress and gradually

degrade.

I need your help in assisting me with getting out of this invasion

expedition to Uranus.

I hope you can be trusted? If you can be trusted, I will explain
further when I get a response from you for further clarification.
Nevertheless, please ensure to reply via my private email:
(bensonmumo01@gmail.com).

Thanks for not ratting me out and all your help in getting me off

of this invasion expedition before we launch.  It'll take us 8 years to

hit what passes for a beach on Uranus and like in the words of the 

song Mr. Custer, I don' wanna go.

Best Regards,

Capt.Bensonmum
US ARMY. (PRESENTLY IN SPACE...oh F**K, I'm already on my

way!!!!!!!!  Hate when that happens.

Expedite your respond 

before our ship passes the Moon...that's as far as our escape

pods will work. 

 Sh*t...and my hair was still in curlers...).

The "captain" didn't bother following up after getting that...seems the question of trust had been effectively answered....