A Sheep Ain't ARAMCO

Oh yes...my character got an email from Saudi Aramco.  Saudi Arabia Oil Company.  Aram -- one 'a' -- co.

At least, that's what Mrs. Huda Alghoson wanted my character to think:

Email Title:  YOUR NOTICE

Contact me for an opportunity on my email below.
Mrs Huda Alghoson (Saudi Arabia Oil Co)
mrs.huda.alghoson1@gmail.com  


My character didn't think it'd take much of a reply to learn more:


I can't wait to see what y'all Aramco-ettes consider an 'opportunity'.  


That reply didn't cause the Mrs. to skip a beat:

Email Title:  DETAILS
Thanks for your response.

I necessitate your partnership on a transaction worth 12.5 million Dollars  as soon as you agree to work with me which is voluntary on your part and if you are not interested there is no problem whatsoever as i will take it in good faith and please i plead with you not to disclose it to anybody as i do not want to have any issues because of my Profile and Status in my country.

SAUDI ARABIA OIL COMPANY  (SAUDI ARAMCO)  where i work made a deal for the  supply of  Twenty Five Million barrels (25,000,000.00 Barrels) of BRENT CRUDE OIL to  an OVERSEAS OIL FIRM at the rate of 67.5 Dollars per barrel some weeks ago.

After the quotation was made and the deal sealed oil prices fell in the World Oil Market to 67 Dollars and with the influence of my office i was able to revert the Documents in the records here in Saudi Arabia to the new price which is 67 Dollars  making an excess of 50 cents or half a dollar  on each barrel of crude sold.This makes a total excess sum of 12.5million United States Dollars.

 Already SAUDI ARAMCO has received its payment and now with my Contacts in the Overseas Bank where the excess 12.5m Dollars is Lodged i will want to present  you to the Overseas Bank as the Beneficiary of the Balance 12.5m Dollars funds been Your Outstanding Payment for Contract Executed with SAUDI ARAMCO and i will prepare all documentation and paperwork to this regards showing you are a Contractor supplying OIL SERVICING EQUIPMENTS to SAUDI ARAMCO so the funds can be released to you as beneficiary.

I can personally assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free and legal and as a Saudi Citizen and  a Senior Officer here i cannot present myself to the Offshore bank for the payment to be made to me for Confidentiality and also i cannot present any of my Family and friends here in Saudi Arabia and this is the reason i contacted you for your assistance and we shall share the funds in the Ratio of 60% (Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars(7.5m Dollars)) for me and 40%(Five Million Usd(5m Dollars) for you once the deal has been completed.

Please indicate your interest and willingness to assist to enable me send more details you about the transaction.

I await your response.   

 Mrs Huda Aghoson
Saudi Aramco  


Naturally, my character followed instructions to the letter by (a) forwarding this email to the actual Aramco folks for snits and twiggles and (b) having some editorial fun widdit:

From: Mrs Huda Alghoson <huda.alghoson4@gmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, February 11, 2020 4:45 PM
To: camelurinefracking101@hotmail.com
Subject: Details, Delays, Dijon, Dilapidation

They call me Mello Jell-O *quite rightly*

(Donovan was not consulted before having his lyrics pillaged herein)

Thanks for your respond to my wholly lacking in details email.  I can see that you're someone I can give the business to.

 I necessitate your partnership on a transaction worth 12.5 cubic yards of sand from Saudi Arabia as soon as you agree to work with me which is voluntary on your part and if you are not interested there is no problem whatsoever as i will take it in good faith and please i plead with you not to disclose it to anybody other than Saudi Aramco, since they don't know who and what I am or how many of their freight camels I have molested in the past year, which only enhance my Profile and Status in my country.

 SAUDI ARABIA OIL COMPANY  (SAUDI ARAMCO)  where this template says I work allegedly made a deal for the  supply of  Twenty Five Million barrels (25,000,000.00 Barrels) of BRENT CRUDE OIL to  an OVERSEAS OIL FIRM at the rate of 67.5 Dollars per barrel some weeks ago.  Saudi Arabia Oil Company doesn't know they made this deal; the template says they did, so that's what I'm running with.

 After the quotation was made and the deal sealed oil prices fell in the World Oil Market to the value of snake spit and with the influence of my office i was able to revert the Documents in the records here in Saudi Arabia to the new price which is snake spit  making an excess of...well, snake spit on each barrel of incredible vulgar crude sold.  This makes a total excess sum of lots of snake spit which has no value in United States Dollars, but might have some value on Uranus with the locals there.  We're checking into that.

 Already SAUDI ARAMCO has received an inquiry about the rumored excess of snake spit in their inventory and now with my Contacts in overseas venues that are reputed to deal in snake spit, they are most interested in quantity and quality of that snake spit.  With that sort of in mind, I will want to present you to the overseas contacts as the dubious badass that collected all that snake spit in a proprietary manure you're not to divulge even though we both know you didn't really collect any snake spit whatsoever.  And that's the beauty of this deal.  

I will prepare all documentation and paperwork to this regards showing you are a Contractor supplying snake spit collecting/holding equipment to SAUDI ARAMCO so the overseas contacts can be impressed with your acumen, thus allowing us to maneuver them into getting snake spit bilked as this deal progresses.  Rather like democrap impeachment did.

 I can personally assure you that this transaction is 100% snake spit bologna, and as a Saudi Citizen and  a Senior Officer here I can probably have my nuts cut off if my employer finds out about this.  Granted, being a woman I have no nuts; but if they rip out my ovaries, that amounts to the same thing anatomically, sort of.  I cannot present myself to the overseas contacts because I'm ugly and my religion dresses me funny;

 also I cannot present any of my Family and friends here in Saudi Arabia because I don't have any that don't look like goats, which is the reason i contacted you for your assistance and to show you the full measure of my generosity we shall share whatever funds could conceivably result from this with me getting 100% and you supplying that 100% once the deal has been completed.

Please indicate your interest and willingness to assist to enable me make up even more outlandish details to send you about the transaction.

 I await your response.

Mrs Huda Alghoson
Saudi Aramco

huda.alghoson4@gmail.com

Nothing Aramco came back in response, but at least my character can rest easy that I taught both the scammers and the oil company something potentially useful:  the reason that snakes are ill-tempered in general.