Skunkfeathers: Duping The DUPElicate

Little did she know how, centuries later, Mona would have a place in 2020 memes.

Over the years, I've screwed with lots of scammers. So many, I can't remember but a fraction of them -- unless they're included on this blog.

I do not remember a Mary Linda in that list of scammers that I've played.

But she claims to remember me...or at least, my character:

Hello Dear,
Am happy today as God directed me a serious partner that do the business together with me and it goes successfully.

Presently I am in (Turkey) for investment projects with our own share of the total sum.Meanwhile, I didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in doing the business together despite that it failed us some how.

Now you will need to contact this priest Fr.Simon Evans whom used to be a God-father to me then.

His name is Rev. Father Simon Evans and his private email address is as follows:(info.rv.simonevanss@gmail.com)

Ask him to send you a certified bank draft cheque of ($500,000) (Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars) which I prepared and kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me then. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. So feel free and get in touched with the priest and instruct him where to send you the bank draft cheque or deposit via bank to your local account Ok.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so we can share our joy and happiness after all the sufferings at that time.
In the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which me and my new partner are having at hand here in (Turkey). Finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to priest on your behalf on how to send to you quickly okay.

Therefore feel free to get in touch with him and he will send the bank cheque to you without any delay ok.
Contact him with your postal or house address where to send it to you OR Send him account to deposit via bank okay.
Take care and bye for now.
Yours Truly friend.
Marylinda.

Ah, but it gets better: within an hour of receiving this email, my character received a second one...from SGT Mary Linda. And except for the "Sgt", the letter is word for word like the earlier one.

What in the flying fish f**k?

I love it when fly-infested internet cafes can't keep track of who is sending what to whom.

Worry not...I worked a mention of the second email into the first during the edit that simply had to happen:

From: Mary Linda <marymraylinda1993@gmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2020 5:33 PM
To: Jack Ewehoff <jacknewehoff101@hotmail.com>
Subject: REDUMBDANT NEWS THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE A SIDE OF CORONAVIRUS AT HALF PRICE

Hello Deer Pickle,
Am happy today as the oracle that I use to guide me in godless endeavors directed me in e flat to play Devil Went Down To Georgia on a kazoo, and pray that it goes successfully.

Presently I am in Turkey because I taked a wrong turd at Albuquerque and somehow wound up surrounded by headless fowls all chilling out. Meanwhile, I didn't forget your past screwing me over when I tried screwing you over first.

Now you will need to contact this priest I just made up out of dildo and yeast infection; he goes by Father Simple Simon Sez whom used to be a urinal deodorizer before I talked him into this.

His name is Father Simple Simon Sez and he has no privates, having donated them to the genitally destitute department store mannequins of Newark. You can contact Father It as follows:(info.rv.simonevanss@gmail.com)

Ask him to send you a complete set of the Beatles Hits recorded backwards, so you can hear such demonically enticing lyrics as "devil bunnies, devil bunnies, I snort the banana!" that led John Lennon to marry an orthodox marmot who would later try to conduct the world's largest recorder concert in South Park, only to have some fourth grade wiseass insert the brown note in the sheet music, creating a situation where only the DNC was in it's element (totally full of sh*t).

Why am I doing this, you ask? Simple: you pissed me off by not letting me scam you, and now it's my try at laying some caramel on you, baby. So feel free and get touched by the priest who now finds solace in goosing octopus in their garden while looking for yellow submarines backwards. Just don't let William Shatner sing it.

Please do let me know immediately if you received the carbonavirus I sent you in a package of used tampons from Berkeley. It is important to me to learn if this actually worked, so I can tell Alyssa Morono that she's still a small degree of relevant at a genital rebushing plant in Wuhan Province, and it parts of the DNC basement. After all the sufferings at that time, it seems a waste to not look into that, especially while the Beatles are demonically jude heying off key with satanic kumquats in reverse.

Finally, remember that I had sideways'd instructions to the priest in Braille'd Azerbaijanic kanji script with angry bird icon flourishes.

Therefore feel free to get in touch with him and he will send you a coupon good for one roll of recycled toilet paper courtesy of maligNANCY Pelosi, the people's nightmare of San Crapcisco.