Beloved on stilts.
Greetings to all the deer, elk and beasts of the Master of Ceremonkeys, with whom all things are done sodomizily weird. I am writing this mail to you with heavy doses of hallucinogens in my blood stream and great hallucinations in my YouTube viral upload. As I informed you or someone I mistook for a whole flock of you earlier, I am Ms Alexandra Ocasio-Vortex aka US House Reptile (NY) from somewhere between American and Zimbabwean alphabet soupically, as viewed through a window to the world of globular clam aid change. Read that slowly enough and it might make some senses in Azerbaijani or Yoruba, I think. As a bonafried widow to late Mr. Vortex -- I kilt and ate him after sex with a Salad Shooter -- I am 29 years old, suffering from long time cucumber of the genital. From all indications my condition is really not much different from the gender fluid non-binaries at Berkeley who have yet to find a pronoun that describes them or a bathroom designed to gives them true feeling of relief from parody, parsnippity or pissing a name legibly in snow. All things are possible unless you're a democrap, then nothing is possumbull without intervention, hand outs, censorship and an overwhelming urge to sit in a forest and scream for all the tree stumps lost to the ages from termites and termightnots.
I don't know about you but it's quite obvious that I won't maintain an off-prime-time show on cnn for more than 2 months if I don't get something that proves Russians colluded with Saints fans to cost the Rams their chance to refuse to go to the White House because of cow-farting globular warning. That, according to my doctors, is what nine out of every five democraps experienced the night that Hellary lost and cnn tried to analyze it with Common Core meth.
I have some unicorns I inherited from my late loving wombat of a husband -- just before I ate him -- deposited in an appliance store in what's left of Detroit. Before it gets looted and the unicorns are exposed to plus zero temperatures -- at which point their rainbow ice cream that they crap will all melt and get all runny -- I am told that I need a very honest psychological assessment to see what condition my condition is in.
At this point I am directed by a Bela Pelosi baphomet oracle with Maxine Waters features to post a disclaimer about how Charity work, or she won't have to if she don't want to, with my new #GreenJeansHorkForTheFutureOfUranus that is, as I type, not helping the Less Privileges of Pluto, and 20% of this resolution will be for your watch and other valuables that you'll leave as reparations at the door, while 80% goes to Antifans who has been impacted by globular warning, THC brownies and LSD.
Please to note that along with airplanes and farting cows, my plans will also ban Northern toilet paper, and you'll revert to using tree bark, just like the ones we used to know by how they howled in agony from behind the outhouse at 3am in a blizzard in Newark.
So shall it be again.
Please let me know if I can TRUST YOU ON THIS to not make fun of me, or I'll use my subpoena power to bring you before my crimeittee and make you sorry you ever meme'd me like you did, like you did yes you did...and I spank you.
I look forward to your prompt reaction to what someone done to my song, Ma. Look what they done to my song, Ma...why for they do this to my song, Ma?
Ms Alexandra Ocasio-Vortex aka US House Reptile (NY)
So far, only crickets from the scammer...no subpoena yet from Her Psycho-ness, which I'll give to the pet rock, Seymour, if it comes.
"Will NOT!!! PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!"
1 Comments:
Bwahahahahahahaha. What an edit. I linked this post to Happy Tuesday. It made me laugh.
Have a fabulous day, Mike. My best to Seymour and Element. 😎
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