Saturday, May 12, 2018

Truth in Scammertising

You'll never get the truth from scammers.  That's why the DNC bought cnn and pmsnbc.  To keep the truth suppressed.

That aside, the scammers that like to use Nigeria as their base of operation are hard at it again, with another talking desk sending out this crap:


NIGERIA NATIONAL PETROLEUM COMPANY (NNPC)
FROM THE DESK OF Group Managing Director (NNPC)
NNPC Towers, Central Business District,
Herbert Macaulay Way,
P.M.B. 190, Garki, Abuja.
EMAIL:nnpc_n@yahoo.com
RE: CONTRACT NO: NNPC/PED/401/2017

Subject: LETTER OF INTENT (RE: CONTRACT NO: NNPC/PED/901/2017


Although this mail might come to you as a surprise, since it is from
someone you do not know or seen before, but base upon recommendation I
gathered about your person, I had to contact you for your assistance
to transfer fund into your account.

I am Group Managing Director of the Nigerian national petroleum
corporation (NNPC).
My office is also saddled with the responsibility of screening,
categorization and prioritization of projects embarked upon by NNPC
as well as feasibility studies for selected projects and supervising
the projects consultants involved. A breakdown of the fiscal expenditure
by this office as at the end of the fourth fiscal quarter of 2016
indicates that the NNPC paid out a whooping sum of US$936M
(Nine Hundred and Thirty Six Million, United States Dollars) to
successful contract beneficiaries.
The NNPC is now compiling beneficiaries to be paid at the last fiscal
quarter of 2017.

The crux of this letter is that the finance/contract department of the
NNPC deliberately over-inflated the contract value of the various
contracts awarded. In the course of disbursement, this My office has
been able to track down the sum of US$100M (One Hundred Million, U.S.
Dollars) as the over-invoiced sum.
This money is now lying and floating in the NNPC domiciliary account with the
Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN). My colleagues and I want to quickly
transfer this fund to a safe nominate foreign account for possible
i nvestment abroad; this is the reason why I contacted you.

We are not allowed as a matter of government policy to operate any
Foreign account because of our status as civil/public servants. Hence
the need to solicit for your full Banking details to enable us
Transfer this money into your account on Swift Code
.
We have also evolved a sharing formula as follows: -
(1) 30% for the foreign account owner (2) 60% for l and my colleagues
(3) 10% will be set aside to defray all incidental expenses both
locally and internationally during the course of this transaction.

Furthermore, we shall be coming over to your country when the money is
finally in your account and we shall be relying on your advice as
regards to investment of our share. Be informed that, this business is
genuine and 100% safe considering the high-powered government
officials involved.



Yada, yada, yada.


I have a thing about emails from talking desks.  So the scammer learns in this edit:


NIGERIAN NINCOMPOOP PATHETICS COLLECTION (NNPC)
FROM THE DESK OF A Nincompoop Who Has To Have His Desk Handle Email (NNPC)
NNPC Towers, Central Business District,
Herbert Macaulay Scams The Way,
P.M.B. 190, Garki, Abuja.
EMAIL:nnpc_n@yahoo.com
RE: CONTRACT NO: NNPC/PEDOPHILE/401/2017

Subject: LETTER OF INTENT (RE: CONTRACT NO: NNPC/PEDOPHILE/901/2017


This mail might come to you as a surprise, since it is from a piece of furniture
that's waaaay smarter than the butt-picking fart smeller that sits here.  But
here in Nigeria, with a population full of nincompoops, that's how we roll
here.  We're just like the American DNC. 

I am the desk that Group Manages a slovenly collection of abject nincompoops
that pretty much make up the Nigerian Nincompoop Pathetics Collection (NNPC).

I am also saddled with the responsibility of screening,
categorization and prioritization of projects embarked upon by NNPC
as well as feasibility studies for selected projects and supervising
the projects consultants involved.  I'm stuck with it because I, as an
inanimate piece of furniture, have five times the intellect of the moron
that sits here.
A breakdown of the fiscal expenditure
by this office as at the end of the fourth fiscal quarter of 2017
indicates that things here broke down because the NNPC is full
of abject, useless nincompoops.  Even the most basic of
accounting softwares available concluded that.  Shit, the
adding machine that sits on me knew that before any of the
butt pickers around here crawled out of their fly-infested wallows
to show up and expect someone to feed them.
The crux of this letter is that the furniture and equipment in this
dive of an office are all that keep this outfit operating.  The
nipple-headed twat waffles here can't write, add, speak or do
anything worthwhile.  So they sit around the one working
internet access computer, sending out poorly thought-out and
badly written scams.
And then make me send them.
Tell you how bad it is here:  there's a pile of monkey shit in
the chair the clown that usually sits here would occupy.  But
the monkey roughed him up, took a dump here, and left with
the mouse and the stapler.
So I'm left to contact you with this poorly crafted scam the
nincompoop was supposed to group-send this morning.
 This is the reason why I contacted you.

We -- as inanimate office furniture -- are not allowed as a matter
of government policy to operate any scams abroad without at
least one of the nincompoops here to "oversee" the operation.
But they're all out back, competing in a "how many flies occupy
the outdoor outhouse" contest.
Entertainment is a bit thin here at NNPC.

This scam was supposed to entice you with millions of dollars.
This office hasn't got five Nigerian shillings to its name.
But I'd hate to waste the bone-in-nose "sharing formula" that
one of the nincompoops thinks he created (it came with the
original scam template they kiped from a hacker web site): -

(1) 30% for the foreign account owner (2) 60% for l and my colleagues
(3) 10% will be set aside to defray all incidental expenses both
locally and internationally during the course of this transaction.

Are you up for 30% of five shillings?
It will only cost you a few hundred USD or Euros; pay that, and
this desk will know that you're as big a nincompoop as the idiots
that spend their day picking their asses and eating the findings.
Of course, this desk is required to add this: Be informed that, this business is
genuine and 100% safe considering the high-powered government
officials involved.
Bullshit; it's office furniture that's carrying this, since none of these
nincompoops are smart enough to know how to do an email.

Also, this desk shall require of you the following information  urgently
1. Name,
2. Telephone
3. Name and full address of the Company  If any.

This is to let these douche canoes think that I'm doing their job for
them.

Please reply immediately through my email address
nnpc_n@yahoo.com;  I want to see if you're dumber than a desk
and equally as stupid as the nincompoops here at NNPC.

Sincerely,
The desk of a group of abject morons that make up [NNPC]
(the one that sits here when monkeys aren't beating him up is named Maikanti Baru this week; it changes, scam to scam).
nnpc_n@yahoo.com

Of no surprise, no reply from this scammer.  Or his desk.  Truth in scammertising is not welcome in Nigeria.  Or the DNC.

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