Skunkfeathers: Contents Aren't So Well Understood

Ettu the scammer, when it comes to understanding the contents well.

Yowza.

First, meet whozerwhatzits:

How are you and your family? I am sorry for bagging into your privy.

My name is Miss Eucharia Joshua,20 years old and the only child of my late parents.

I'm seeking for your assistance in retrieval and transfer of my inherited fund to your country,( One Million Eight Hundred Thousand Pounds ),

I wait for your reply for more information you may need regarding the deposit.

God bless you.
Miss Eucharia Joshua

"Bagging into your privy". W...T...F??? Spellcheck *FAIL*

So was her reading this response:

Why are you bagging into my privy if you're sorry? And your proposal is too heavy.

And here's how well she reads:

Thanks for your email message.I sincerely appreciate your response. I would want to respond to you for a better understanding.God bless you.I want to relocate your country with my inheritance for so many reasons. If I stay back here with my inheritance,I can loose my life. I don't want to start explaining anything now, but will have the opportunity to tell you more when we meet.

My uncle are very dangerous individuals, greedy and always wanting more. They took away many things from me since my parent died. The best alternative solution for me is to relocate another country and settle down there, continue my education while you will help me to invest the money in a profitable business.

Please you have to be assured that this transaction is legal and will not bring any problem to you. The money is my inheritance from my late Father.

This transaction involves huge amount of money and there is need for me to know you very well before we proceed further, it is very important to exercise high level of confidence between you and me.

Please send me your complete names and address,telephone number, including a copy of your photograph for recognition. I will give you more details regarding the deposit once I hear from you with the information requested.

The most important thing is that you will help me to invest the money in a profitable business in your country. You will take 20% of the total amount as compensation for your assistance in this transfer.

I hope to hear from you. You should try as much as possible to keep this issue very confidential because it involves huge amount of money.

Please feel free to ask questions where you don't understand well.

Oooookay. It's time again for another of those award winning edits at which I'm still trying to master or mistress:

From: eucharia joshua <euchariajoshua@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, December 4, 2017 11:01 AM
To: PigsflyAllahAir@yahoo.com
Subject: GOOD DAY SUNSHINE..GOOD DAY SUNSHINE...GOOD DAY..F**K THAT

Dearest,

Thanks for your email massage but you missed a spot. I sincerely depreciate your respond. I would want to respond to you God bless you if you sneezed but not if you farted.

I want to relocate your country for so many reasons. Most of them perverse and grotesque. If I stay back here with my inherited collection of sexually abused goats, I can loose my virginity if I understand that word. I don't want to start explaining anything related to inflatable sex toys and how I was busted with a Hellary Clinton one leaving a motel in Chappaqua a month ago, but will have the opportunity to refine my story gooder when we meet.

My uncle are very dangerous individuals, both greedy, schizophrenic and always coming up with more versions of who and what he is. After years of eating Wheaties -- and seeing what it did to Bruce Jenner -- he wants to become Fatima LaDouche and get Time Magazine's "Whoa Man! of the Year" award. Besides eating Wheaties with a grain shovel -- he wants to win that award this year -- he's already removed his Mr. Winkee with a Salad Shooter as a precursor, and now I've never heard his curse so much. It didn't do much for dicing carrots with the Salad Shooter, either.

The best alternative solution for me is to relocate another country and lay it right over the top of this one. It's pretty weird here in Newark.

Please you have to be assured that this transaction is legal and will not bring any problem to you. If you believe that, either you didn't read this or are illiterate like me.

This transaction involves huge amount of monkeys doing unspeakable things with tourist luggage and there is need for me to know you very well before we proceed further. Please send me your picture so I can show it to my goats and see if they think you're okay or resemble that ISIS idiot in Aleppo that molests Yugos.

Please send me your complete names and address,telephone number, including a copy of your photograph for my goats to see if they recognition you. I will give you more details regarding where my uncle shredded his winkee once I hear from you with the information requested.

The most important thing is that you will help me to get rid of the six shipping containers of Hellary Clinton Forward t-shirts that got dumped here mysteriously on November 10 of last year. Nobody wants to wear that sh*t.

I hope to hear from you. You should try as much as possible to keep this issue very confidential because it involves huge amount of dubious antecedence.

Please feel free to ask questions where you don't understand well; I don't either, so between the two of us we'll be equal.

Miss Eucharia Joshua
euchariajoshua@yahoo.com