Relax. It just goes down hill from h'yar.
A Chinese ship building firm contacted one of my characters, recruiting them to be their regional account representative in the US.
Ain't that quaint.
Here's a part of their chow mein:
Cheoy Lee Shipyards Hong Kong is a based parent company which was founded in 1870. Deals in prospective new and used boats, agents and brokers with the yard and main administrative offices in Hong Kong.
Cheoy Lee continues to be a family owned and run business having been in the Lo family for over a century since its formation. With a rich and diverse history in both commercial and pleasure craft ship construction, Cheoy Lee were one of the pioneers in the use of fiberglass yacht construction in the early 1960's, which began to replace the traditional teak motor and sail boats that the company produced at that time. Always having strong ties to the United States, which has remained a major trading partner for nearly fifty years, the company has delivered nearly 5,000 vessels to date. Indeed the majority of the pleasure craft purchasing is done from the Ft. Lauderdale office, ensuring availability for parts and replacement items for ease of maintenance and warranty work.
We are pleased to have received your reply upon your interested in been our company's Account Representative in your region, this is due to the high demand of commodities of our products and services in the North American region and yet we do not have access to debiting from our North American Account clients pay into and also we are unable to transfer funds from our own account in North America to other vendors around the globe, need not to explain to you how this is bad for business.
Transactions go slow and this is the reason we have contacted you to partner with us and be able to assist us with the challenge, as you would be compensated fairly and paid accordingly. What we require from you is for you to stand as an Account Representative in your region, whereby we can be able to link our North American account to yours and diverse means on how to transfer our customer's funds to you directly, there after you would keep proper record of every transaction made through you and you would also be provided with customers details that you would be assigned to in your region that would make others through you and make payments directly you.
Very nice. But rather than just blindly accept their offer to give me the nautical business, I had my pet rock, Seymour, tie on an eye patch and with a hearty *arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* -- that gave him an audible hernia ("did NOT!!! PHFFFFFT!") -- edit their email offer a tad: