I got an email from...The Lord John Thomas of Cwmgiedd, of the Judiciary of England and Wales.
I don't need to share with you the whole email; this one part will pretty much get you the gist of this whacking great wanker of a scam:
If I didn't know better, I'd think that Marie Harf sent this out.
At any rate, what it became would horrify Harf and all her leftist moron friends:
The Judiciary of England, Wales, Walruses 'n Chips
Royal Courts of Jesters
11th floor, Thomas Less Building
Boing Boing, London WC2A 2LL
Compliment of the day. Today's compliment is "twatwaffle". That beats being called a "bloody wanker".
We hope this email would find you. If it didn't, we hope it found somebody.
You are reading an e-mail from JESTORIAL OF ENGLAND, WALES, WALRUSES 'n CHIPS, UNITED KINGDUMB. On a daily basis, the Jestorial Office coordinates and transmits requests for invasive enemas and what works them bestest. The preponderance of enematic crimes like Advance Royal Rectal Itch Fraud, Monkey Laundering and Monty Python activities all over the world, etc has had severe negative consequences all over the TV world, including decreased showings of The Ducks Of Horkage, tainting of world's national image on Uranus. The menace of these crimes and the recognition of the magnitude and gravity of the situation led us to hire someone to read us them woids and tell us what the crikey they meant. Thus done, we signed us a Milk of Magnesia of Understanding on Wednesday 19th June, 2015 between FIFA, FIFI, the Queen of Clubs, a pot dispensary in Boulder, CO, United Nations, an asteroid and Nigeria Government at the United Nations Hindquarters located on the backside of Hitlary Clinton, where it all got stuck in her industrial strength thong when she sat on the bloody collective in New York City, USA. A whacking great tampon it's proven. It was agreed that to retain the good image of Nigeria and the rest of Africa countries, firstly one would have to be created that people of Uranus and Burntimore would actually believe.
It's not going well thanks to Al Sharpton, but we keep workin' on it.
To that effect, we are sending you this e-mail because we were required to send out 100,000 emails in the commie core math equation that aliens wearing purple hats sit on waffles and finger their anal sinus passages while whistling for moochelle obola to fetch a stick. You will receive your stick when she's trained, though count on further delay.
I WANT YOU TO READ BELOW CAREFULLY, THE NOTICE BELOW STAND AS CAUTION BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
MR. CHARLES WILLIAM ROME, Lord Aboriginal of Wankerputz presented an Authorization Letter for change of your gender that you are a haggis genital as of one month ago. After the investigations however,it was revealed that there are some dubious surgeons working for the Democrap National Committee in the basement of their Chicago branch who take bribes from Government Officials in Nigeria and the rest of Africa countries who are collaborating with some Foreigners to register mokeawhackadoodles on Uranus to vote for Hitlary Rodehard Clunkhaid 2016 as Most Likely To Go To Jail In A Sumo Thong. He have also forwarded his Name and Address below as Most Likely To Be Squarshed By Her.
Name: MR. CHARLES WILLIAM ROME
Address: 139 Douchenozzle Place, Warshington DC Uniteds State of Democrap Disarray
But we wanted to confirm if actually this is reported on msnbc by bedwetter Melissa Hairy-Penis and hence decided to write to your email address which from we constipate a response from you, We will then know that you are dead and thus voting democrap illegally like all dead seem to do in Chicago. IF PROVED OTHERWISE BY YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT A DUMBASS DEMOCRAP PLEASE, FILL THE Claimant Form below and SEND IT TO HON. MINISTER OF FINANCE, NIGERIA (ATTENTION DR. NGOZI OKONJO-IWEALA) IMMEDIATELY. SHE IS FORMERLY JESSE JACKSON BEFORE HE SAW THE PRESS BRUCE JENNER GOT FOR BECOMING CAITLYN.
1.YOUR FULL NAMES (ALL OF THEM PLEASE)
2. GENDERS (PLEASE LIST THE ONES YOU CLAIM TODAY, TOMORROW, NEXT WEEK, ETC):
3. HOUSE OR OFFICE ADDRESS (P. O. Box not accepted)
4. YOUR PHONE NUMBER(S)
NAME: ATTN: DR. NGOZI OKONJO-IWEALA aka JESSE JACKSON
Immediately you send the above required information to DR. NGOZI OKONJO-IWEALA, she/formerly he will proceed with the Processing/Releasing of your ROYAL GENITAL SWITCHING IDENTITY CARD that used to have a Ducks of Horksrrd confetti flag on top within 2-3 working days based on our agreement.
PLEASE NOTE: YOU WILL NOT PAY ANY MONEY TO OBOLASCARE TO RECEIVE YOUR ROYAL GENITAL SWITCHING IDENTITY CARD AS LONG AS YOU ARE ILLEGAL DEMOCRAP. We have signed a contract with BELA PELOSI-CALIFORLORNIA COURIER for the delivery of all the ROYAL GENITAL SWITCHING IDENTITY CARD which should expired December 31st, 2035.
IMPORTANT: UNDER PENALTY OF HAVING TO WATCH MSNBC ALONG WITH THE SIX OTHER NINCOMPOOPS THAT SEEM TO LIKE IT, THE INFORMATION YOU SUBMITTED TO DR. NGOZI OKONJO-IWEALA CORRECTLY IDENTIFY YOU AS THE RECIPIENT OF THIS ROYAL GENITAL SWITCHING IDENTITY CARD PAYMENT; NO OTHER LIVING PERSON OR ENTITY IS STUPID AS YOU ARE; IT IS A VIOLATION OF AN OBOLA EXECUTIVE ODOR FOR ANY PERSON TO INTENTIONALLY OR KNOWINGLY MAKE FUN OF MOOCHELLE FETCHING STICKS AND STUFF. BE WARNED
Indee ferr de flum de cheekin,
The Lord John Thomas of Cwmgiedd,
Lord Chief Jester of England, Wales, Spotted Owls, Joe Bidumb and Chips
I'm sure the Democrap National Committee will find this most amusing.