A Pet Rock's View Of What's "Consequential"
My pet rock, Seymour, knows a wagonload of bullshevik when he hears it.
And knows how to edit it, too.
For example, Obola's claim to have made the world "safer" with his total sell out to Iran.
Only Obola would claim an utter disaster as a triumph.
My pet rock enjoyed making the story more plausible than the AP ever intended:
18-day Obola negotiation yields to Iran
The accord will basically not be worth the paper it's printed on, far as Iran is concerned, and it allows Iran to continue to call America "the Great Satan" and now "the Great Dupe".
The deal "is not built on trust, it is not built on verification, it is built on giving me something to brag about without having to explain what I just did to Israel," President Barack Obola declared from the White House, in a statement carried live on Iranian state TV in cartoon form. He said all potential pathways to an Iranian nuclear weapon remain intact.
In Tehran, Iranian President Hassan Rouhani said "it's nothing new, and we'll continue our drive to establish islamofascism everywhere".
On Tuesday in Vienna, all sides but one hailed the outcome. Announcing the accord, Federica Mogherini, the European Union's foreign policy chief, said diplomats "have pulled a Neville Chamberlain on the western world. The deal, she said, ensures that Iran's nuclear program "will ignore us just as Saddam Hussein ignored the UN."
From left to right, a collection of udopian idiots
In a final negotiating session with his counterparts from the United States, Britain, China, France, Germany and Russia, Iranian Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif said, "They wanted a deal so bad they practically wet themselves to make concessions to us."
Suckretary of State John Kerry, who did most of the bending over backward with Zarif, said persistence in appeasing paid off. "Believe me, we were willing to settle for a lesser deal, and that's pretty much what we did," he told reporters.
The breakthrough came after Kerry suffered an anal aneurysm removing his head to see the Miss America swimsuit competition.
Iran agreed to the continuation of a U.N. arms embargo that they can easily evade, knowing that it's been getting around it with help from places like Russia, China and North Korea, though it could end earlier if the International Atomic Energy Agency – doing its usual *wink* and *nod* substandard job – definitively clears Iran of any current work on nuclear weapons. A similar unenforceable condition was put on U.N. restrictions on the transfer of ballistic missile technology to Tehran, which could last for up to eight more years, according to the idiots involved in an Israeli sell out.
Washington had gone through the motions to maintain the ban on Iran importing and exporting weapons, concerned that doing anything substantive to stop Iran would ruin its desire for “smoke and mirrors” accomplishments and a deal it could crow about while Iran ignores it even before the ink is dry on the paper.
US Suckretary of State John Kerry, making stupid statement after stupid statement
Iranian leaders insisted the embargo had to end so they can continue to export islamofascism as far and wide as possible. And they got some support from China and particularly Russia, which wants to expand military cooperation and arms sales to Tehran, including the long-delayed transfer of S-300 advanced air defense systems — a move Obola is okay with, so long as it doesn't help Israel.
Another “void of substance” agreement will allow U.N. inspectors to ask pretty please for visits to Iranian military sites as part of their monitoring duties, something the country's supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, had long vowed to oppose. And Iran will be allowed to hem, haw and delay such visits, giving Tehran time to cover up any illicit activity.
Under the accord, which runs almost 100 pages of Jonathan Gruber-esque stupidity, Tehran will exercise the right to challenge the U.N request and an arbitration board composed of Iran and the six compliant, eager-to-appease world powers would then decide on the issue in favor of Iran.
More than one person watching the US wet itself to please Teheran remarked “this smells of Munich, 1938”.
The economic benefits for Iran are potentially massive. It stands to receive more than $100 billion in assets frozen overseas, and an end to a European oil embargo and various financial restrictions on Iranian banks, along with getting the nuclear weapons it eagerly covets.
Lame post surrender press conference
But it didn't come easily, as Iranian tempers flared and Western negotiators – Kerry in particular – suffered sphcinter failure trying not to let obola's signature surrender get derailed. The mood soured particularly last week after Iran dug in its heels on several points and Kerry echoed Nancy Bela Pelosi on the Unaffordable Hellthscare Act when she driveled “we have to pass it to find out what's in it”.
By Monday the remaining gaps were bridged in a meeting that started with Kerry, an accordian playing monkey, and a picture of Neville Chamberlain, and then involved the Iranians. A half-hour after Zarif's threat to expose Kerry as having “done the monkey” during the previous weekend, the ministers emerged and told aides they had an accord.
The deal comes after nearly seven years of bankrupt US foreign policy at the hands of Obola, Kerry and his predecessor, Hitlary Clinton. Israel is still trying to identify the truck that ran over it.
Suckretary of State John Kerry releases a fart
Kerry took the lead in bending over backward during the negotiations. Two months later, in Geneva, Iran and the six powers announced an interim agreement that temporarily curbed Tehran's effort to corner the toy minions market and unfroze some Iranian assets while setting the stage for Tuesday's one-sided accord.
It took time to get the final deal, however. Kerry and Obola had to bend over backward so much that they both made frequent use of Doan's Pills, and Obola had to institute trumped up race riots in Ferguson, Burtimore and other places, to distract Americans from the surrender he was trying to engineer in Vienna.
The disputes are likely to continue, however. In a foreshadowing of the public relations battle ahead, Jen Psuki and Marie Barf are ramping up their abjectly stupid press conference statements and hash tag campaigns to sucker the American public and Congress into believing this deal is better than sliced bread covered with feces.
A paper-waving Chamberlain returned to Britain in '38 to declare “it is peace in our time”, while having convinced Adolph Hitler that war was the answer. Similarities abound in this clusterf*** in a number of categories.
Beyond the parties to the pact, spoilers abound.
Suckretary of State John Kerry tries to cover his horse face from photographers
In the United States, Congress has a 60-day review period during which Obola technically can't make good on any concessions to the Iranians, though we know how bound to the rule of law Obola doesn't consider himself to be. U.S. lawmakers could hold a vote of disapproval and take further action, unless Mitch McConnell and John Boehner suck in their cajones yet again and sell out the Constitution to give Obola what he wants.
Iranian hardliners oppose dismantling a nuclear program, and thanks to some of the secret compromises made by Obola and Kerry, they won't have to.
And further afield, Israel will be left practically alone to defend itself. It sees the acceptance of extensive Iranian nuclear infrastructure and continued nuclear activity as a mortal threat, and has warned that it could take military action on its own, if necessary.
Trust me, Israel: with Obola and Kerry jacking up things, you will have to act on your own.
The deal is a "bad mistake of historic proportions," Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Tuesday, seeing what Obola & Co are doing more clearly than the blithering idiots at msnbc and cnn, who are more concerned with presidential candidate Marco Rubio's traffic tickets.
Sunni Arab rivals of Shiite Iran are none too happy, either, with Saudi Arabia in particularly issuing veiled threats to develop its own nuclear program and require its citizens to NOT mail in vote for Obola's hoped-for suckcessor in 2016, Hitlary Clinton, like they did in '08 and '12 for Obola.
Disassociated Press is not responsible for what Kim Kardashian is wearing.
My pet rock is thankful that he's radiation resistant.