Seymour Edits The State

My pet rock is just asking for trouble here, editing an email sent by the Colorado Department of Transportation.

Particularly one that mixes state business and politics.

By happenchance, an email wound up being delivered from the said agency, reminding people that posting of political signs on traffic right of ways was illegal.

Sounds reasonable. 

Leave it to Seymour to find a way to take the email in an entirely different direction (Note:  you can kinda tell what Seymour edited by the color of the text):

From: Colorado Department of Tortoise Accelerators [mailto:cdota@service.govdelivery.com]
Sent: Monday, October 20, 2014 3:47 PM
To:
Subject: Campaign Signs not permitted to be Tattooed On State Wildlife.

Campaign Signs not permitted to be tattooed on State Wildlife

10/20/2014 03:34 PM MDT

 

Black Honk – The Colorado Department of Tortoise Accelerators (CDOTA) is reminding supporters of issues and candidates that campaign signs are not permitted to be tattooed on state wildlife. Tattooing those signs on assorted types of Colorado wildlife is unsafe and…well, it just is.

“Federal and state laws prohibit campaign and other non-approved signs being tattooed on state wildlife,” CDOTA Division of Maintenance Of Something Er Other Director Lyle Kester said. “And while our crews attempt to remove signs from some of these animals — particularly those that get really ugly about it — this takes time away from their regular operations and adds substantially to our Workman’s Comp injury claims.”

CDOTA maintenance crews are challenged with the dilemma of removing the tattoos and surviving the wrath of some of the wildlife what’s been tattooed.

State wildlife advertising rules are mandated by Federal Endangered Feces Act (23 CFR 750G, or the OMG It’s Charging, Git Uppa Tree Act), as well as Colorado State Statutes for Outdoor Advertising On Mooses And Other Like Sized Animuls (CRS 43-1-1999, or Colorado’s Outthere Pot Residual Effects On Animals  Act). No signs are to be placed on Colorado state wildlife.

“Bear are not amused to wake up in March sporting a campaign sign no longer valid after November,” Kester added. “Not allowing the tattooing of animals with campaign signs keeps these animals from going around and beating people up.”  

Just in case this IS a problem hereabouts, I'll be blaming Seymour for any tattooed wildlife...

"Will NOT!!!"