Russian Anna, Star Wars and An Epic Force FAIL
The Force had an epic FAIL with this one.
I think I've let y'all in on a not-so-little-secret: Russian Anna Ivanova is back. Again. She really REALLY wants that $650 from Jack N. Ewehoff, Ben Dover...probably anyone she can get it from.
And she keeps thinking that with enough photos, she's going to get it.
She even resorted to sending me a picture of whatever Russian porn star's pictures she's using...she sent me a picture of her 'beav'.
Gee, Beav....it had a far different meaning when Wally said it in the 1950s.
This is how it's proceeded since she wunst again took up the borscht of trying to get that $650 USD:
my beloved exclusive man in my life.
We are familiar with you for a long time. We're conducting a very long romantic correspondence. I love you with all my heart and soul. You're my only happiness in my life. You are my joy. My sadness and grief that we are not together. I'm ready for our meeting at all. I am ready to sell his soul to the devil to meet you.
Please write me what to do even for our meeting???
I'm sending you a picture of his passport, because I trust you completely. I sent you my home videos. You also saw my naked photos. You have a photo of my passport.
What else do I do to be happy with you????
I'm all ready to meet with you. Soon to be the year of our acquaintance, do not you want to meet me????
I am ready to sell his kidney to buy an air ticket, but I can not live without kidneys. Write me the truth, why do you still not together???? What should I do to be close to you and loves you!! When I first received a letter from you, I was very happy and thanked her fate for you. But I do not understand why we're still not together. I have only one question,
WHY WE DO NOT TOGETHER NOW???????
I wanted and want to be with you only a serious relationship. I'm willing to wait a lifetime of our meeting. I will love only you. I will be praying before bedtime, and asks God to help us meet. Your fidelity Anna
I read your letter, and did not see what you want to meet with me. Why do not you meet me?? I forgive you for assistance to meet you. Anna
Postal code 610021,
Vorovskogo street, 92
Bank name: vtb24
Beneficiary Customer: Ivanova Anna
4272 2900 7966 6715
650 dollars I can get in 4 hours.
But please, write me when you can make a bank transfer??
I'll collect the luggage on the road
I am right terrible sorry, Anna...I tried to have my friend Yoda do the bank transfer from Kirov. Sadly, he couldn't seem to get it any farther than Vakhrushi. Farting during a Force umph is apparently not a good thing to happen. Especially a paint peeler like he dun. Ewwww. So I must do this another way.
Jack why do you play me? my broke heart earns you!
Duct tape, Anna. Duct tape. Meantime I'm working on an alternative.
Please make bank transfer as soon as possible. I'm waiting. Anna
Either her font broke, or whoever is playing her in the Russian fly-infested internet café forgot how she responds. Oh well.
Anna banana, I sorrowfully regret to inform you that the Yoda I contracted with to transfer your bank here was a complete and utter FAIL. So your bank remains in Kirov. Thus it follows that if this Yoda can't transfer your bank here, he'll have no more success transferring my bank there. I'm open to any other suggestions.
For now, Anna banana doesn't seem to have any. So it appears that we're "off" again. Until we're "on" again. I may wind up with a career with this one...