A Scam Rev Not Up On His Movies

Who recognizes this?

It's from the 1980 movie, The Gods Must Be Crazy. 

And it's working beautifully with one online email scam-supporting "Dr. Rev", as so many of them are.  This one -- noted in a previous post -- is Dr. Rev. Joelmicah Farith, and he claims to be representing the aggrieved scamstress Rita Johnson, late of the Ivory Coast, currently scamming from a Senegalese refugee camp.

He says.

When we last left the good Rev, he had written me off as "not being a good christen".  I don't recall my reply, but I reckoned that was that.  And perhaps it woulda been, but you know me..I like to tweak scammers a bit after the first effort's over.

And ol' Dr. Rev Farith apparently took that to mean there was life in the wildebeest carcass yet.

Here's how it's going:


Attention My Son,

May the peace of the Lord be with you my son,
my son the bible said that you should help one another, for the first time you told me that
you want to help miss Rita out of this camp, and agree with you, as a man of God,
my son i want to let you know that miss Rita have not eat any thing because of you,

Please my son, i have been in this work as a rev father for 25yeas ago, so you have to first
help miss Rita, after than you can help other person you like, because if you did not do as
i said God will be angry with you, i am telling all this as a man of God, just help miss Rita now
so that God will help you also in your business, please you should not fail to do what i told you
thanks i have to wait for your good news,
Yours In The Lord,

Joel Micah.  

Actually, I spoke with God on this very subject, and I showed him the picture of the other refugee camp waif.  God agreed with me in full, telling me that His Wisdom bade me to help those who can truly offer something spiritually back.  And dude, can Anna ever offer spirituality in an outfit like this.  Yowza.

Besides, she's staying at a far nicer refugee camp there than rita could afford, AND has more money in her Swiss account than rita does.  Business is business, right?  And when I'm being given the business, it behooves me to make the best deal possible.  I'll give God your regards.  

 

 

 

Jul 1 at 5:32 AM

Attention My Son,

May the peace of the Lord be with you my son,
are you ready to help miss blessing, please if so
pay the money to the lawyer thanks
yours Father,
Joelmicah.  

 

 

Help Miss WHO?  Wasn't her name Rita Johnson?

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

You need to re-set your talking points.  Get back to me when you have this straightened out.  

 

 

 ok i understand you her name is miss Rita Johnson
i want to know what you will say for this ok   

 

 

 

I'm so glad you understand me.  That's a good start for you.  You've earned a nap break.  Get back to me afterward.  You're grumpy when you haven't had your nap. 

 

 

Attention My Son,
May the peace of the Lord be with you my son, i really want to know if you really want to help miss Rita out of this camp, if so just try to final with the lawyer, with the money i just wait to hear from you
thanks
Rev Father
Joel Micah. 

 

 

Y'know...as we have discussed, I would be really happy to help miss Rita out of her doldrums, but dang it all...you saw the pictures of Anna, just as needy in a refugee camp, with more money and...well...YOWZA.  She's much more the looker than Rita.  Even you, a bona fide Rev, has to admit the truth in that, right?  I've attached a few more pictures of Anna...if you aren't having wet dreams when looking at these, then Rev Joelmicah Farith, you must be gay.  And I don't mean happy.  Not that it isn't okay for you to be a gay Rev...but really, how could you NOT help Anna?  

 

And of course, I threw him this photo that Anna sent me:

 

That drew this amusing response from our comic book Rev:

 

 

HHHHH you are a big fool, this lady is from RUSSIAN country, my son any lady from this country is a fake lady, but if you dont stop with this lady you will cry at the end of this business, any lady with a naked pictures are all fake people they dont fear God, so you have to help miss Rita because she fear God and also she can not give a naked pictures ok
THE REV FATHER JOELMICAH.  

 

 

The capitalization of his name is apparently his way of emphasizing his righteous indignation that my character might fall for Russian scammers, and not his.  It failed:

 

 

Of COURSE she's from Russian country, you simple mugu.  Her name is Anna I-V-A-N-O-V-A.  That's IVANOVA.  And she doesn't even play tennis, though with a name like Ivanova, she could.   

Hey...she offered more money than Rita did, and offered me the EXACT SAME DEAL as Rita did.  I'll bet she used the exact same template that Rita did.  As for the pictures...well...*whoooweeee howdy*...I don't even want to THINK about seeing naked pictures of Rita.  Not a desirable vision at all.  I'm hap-hap-happy to not see ANY pictures of Rita.  For all I know, YOU'RE RITA, playing at being a fake rev for the purposes you know full well you're fronting here.  But I digress.

Now...you know better than to say that Rita fear God.  'Cuz if she did, she wouldn't be doing what she's doing.  And if you were a proper and God-fearing Rev, you wouldn't be doing what you're doing.  But you are doing it, and that's how I know, because I don't have to fear God, 'cuz I know that God is on my side and not yours.  God told me he's on my side and not yours over a cup of coffee and pastry.

If Rita needs help, and you are a bona fide Rev, then you have taken an oath on the good book to help out Rita.  That's the oath YOU took, not me.  So, Rev Joelmicah Farith, it appears that it is YOU who must help Rita....if Rita actually does need heppin'.  And I'll keep letting Anna think I'm going to help her, 'cuz she sends much better pictures than Rita ever could.

Ponder if the Gods Must Be Crazy, and then it's your turn.  

 

 

Believe it or not, he actually took another turn:

 

 

ARE YOU GOING HELP MISS RITA HERE?  I WASTES MUCH TIMES ON THIS.
 

 

Oh he do, do he?  Anyway, so I sent him the photo at the top, with this snippet:

 

Time is fungible and doesn't recognize waste.  Which somewhat alludes in a time-wasting fungible way to the story of the mushroom that entered a bar and ordered a beer...the bartender says 'we don't serve mushrooms here' and the mushroom responds, 'but I'm a real fungi!'.  But and again, I digress.  See this attached photo?  Does it mean anything to you, Rev?  It should.  Ponder it and get back to me.  

 

 

I doubted he recognized it...but he thought he did:

 

 

THIS PEOPLE ON THE PICTURES ARE IN A BAD CONDITION LIKE THE CAMP PEOPLE HERE IN SENEGAL OK  

 

 

Ah, so they might or not be.  Well, Rev, would you believe that if they are people photographed in a Senegalese refugee camp, what are you doing for them, huh?  And why does the one have an empty Coca Cola bottle, hmmm?  What is the significance of that, hmmmm?   


ARE YOU HELP MISS RITA OR NOT?


Unless Miss Rita looks like that last photo I send you, no.


Sadly, that concludes the latest in Senegalese refugee camp scam emails.  Until tomorrow's emails are sorted, that is  ;-)