Not Ghana Fall Fer This

My pet rock, Seymour, asked me when I was gonna fall for one of the email scams.

My response:  when I trip over the email.

That was good for a *pet rock face palm*, something unique to behold, which you never will iffen you ain't got a pet rock.

The country of Ghana is trying to convince me that they have my best interest at heart.

Even though they have no idea who *I* am.

Witness their latest effort:


FROM: UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA
INTERNATIONAL TRANSFER
PROCESSING DEPARTMENT
ACCRA GHANA.

DEAR BENEFICIARY
RE: (CODE :UBA/2014

TRANSFER OF US$ RE: SWIFT 1.5 MILLION INTEREST INTO YOUR ACCOUNT

I AM  REV. KWAME TETEH.), IN OUR BANK, YOUR MONEY WAS BROUGHT TO OUR BANK FROM ALL AFRICAN APEX  BANK, THIS MONEY WAS TAKEN BACK TO THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT TREASURY FOR THE PERIOD OF TIME THIS MONEY WAS IN OUR BANK.

IT GENERATED AN INTEREST WHICH WE CONSIDERED YOUR LONG SUFFERING WITH WEST AFRICAN GOVERNMENT. YOUR NAME WAS BROUGHT TO OUR BANK AS ONE OF THE BENEFICIARIES WHOM HIS MONEY HAS NOT BEEN PAID.

THE WORD BANK,INTERNATIONAL MONITORING FUND (I.M.F) AND OTHER MONITORY AGENCY RESOLVED THE ISSUE IN LONDON AFTER ONE WEEK MEETING AND DECIDE TO PAY YOU THIS INTEREST FUND VIA SWIFT TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU NOW IS ANY FORM OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION FOR EXAMPLE; YOU’RE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT NUMBER OR YOUR DRIVING LICENSE NUMBER, THEN YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATION /YOUR ACCOUNT INFORMATION.

AS A MATTER OF FACT WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO WASTE SINCE WE HAVE WASTED TIME IN CONTACTING OUR RESPECTIVE  CUSTOMERS, SO TRY AND COMPLY WITH THE ENTIRE NECESSARY REQUIREMENT FOR REMITTANCE.

BEST REGARDS,

REV.DR KWAME TETEH
(UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA.)  


They "don't have enough time to waste since they have wasted time in contacting their respective customers", eh? 

I decided to see just how up to wasting time they were, when they get a reply like this:

Rev. Dr. Kwame Teeth,
Bank of Africans
Accra Ghana
and someday someone will decide what Accra is Ghana do...

Dear Esteemed and Sautéed Sir,

What the f*** are you talking about?

Sincerely,
Jack N. Ewehoff
National Bureau of Standards
Boulder CO
"Higher Than Denver"    


By heckydarnpoo, I drawd me a response, albeit one both grammatically and geographically challenged:


GO TO BASTARD  


I didn't know Bastard was a destination.  I reckon I get there through Ghana, right?  


I don't think he liked that, but I'll apparently never know...