Cambodian Lobsters Is Syrian Business

The picture -- used by a number of alleged "dying" foreigners in their scam emails -- would have been more fitting as a crustacean.

However, I didn't have the right crustacean in my archives for this.

Here I go again, as I get another email from another dying refugee with money.

Yup.  So many rich and dying refugees.  I thought it was from the DNC.

Instead, it's from someone in Cambodia, claiming to be Syrian.

I can see how that can happen.

Read this heart-string-tugging epistle:

I know this email will surprise you. Please accept my offer for charity plans. My name is
Mrs. Isar Aqilah. I am a rich Syrian woman of 66 years. I was married to the director of
(ISAR SEAFOOD LTD) located in China and Cambodia. I am seriously suffering from the
poisonous Gas attack that affected us in Damascus last year. My entire families died by
that attack. My condition is hopeless to survive. Nobody to call for help. I am using my
doctor's android phone to send you this email. I want you to take over my funds in
Cambodia for charity plans and humanitarian aid for Syrian refugees, motherless, less
privileged, the widows and also in your country. I pray Allah to help us. I have
$10,100.000.00 in my Bank. I will offer you 12% for your commitment. My lawyer in Cambodia
will direct and arrange the release of the funds to you. Presently I can't reply you. My
lawyer contact is stated below

Barrister. Sak Khan
E-mail: ba_sakkhan_chamber@yahoo.com.vn
TEL- +855-979581598 


Makes you want to run right out and beat down a few lobsters don' it?


Well, guess I'm a mean person.  I hadda different take I sent back in reply to "Isar":

Dear Friend,

I know this email will surprise you since I'm a Cambodian attempting to pass myself off

as Mrs. Isar Aqilah, a bitch of a Syrian woman of 66 years. I was married to the director of
(ISAR SEAFOOD LTD) located in China and Cambodia until a mob of angry lobsters

sodomized him during a sea food mosh pit. I am seriously suffering from the
poisonous Gas attack that resulted after he was sodomized...those lobsters were

horribly flatulent.  My entire families died by that attack. Even as a survivor my condition is

hopeless because I am allergic to cocktail sauce. Nobody to call for help because the lobsters

also stole my cell phone and have been making crank calls all over the USA, ordering pizzas to

unsuspecting addresses.  Bastards.

I am using my psychoanalyst's android phone by telling him I'm calling for crank-laced

lubricating oil for it...so I cannot make this message long.  I want you to take over my efforts

to track down that gang of lobsters and make them pay for the flatulence that killed my

famdamily while they were trying to watch the Olympics. I'd pray to Allah to help us, but

that useless pedophile is only interested in the next sexual encounter.

I have $10 in West African francs in my Bank. I will offer you 12%.  If that not enough, I will offer

you my body.  Forget that I look like a shriveled prune.  

My lawyer -- located in Cambodia and operating by many names, including Fang Yu Fuk Duk

Luk Buttboinker -- will attempt to direct and arrange something sordid to you.

Presently I can't reply you. A lobster has my tongue.  My
lawyer contact is stated below

Barrister. Sak Khan
E-mail: ba_sakkhan_chamber@yahoo.com.vn
TEL- +855-979581598

Sent from Google Mail by an android high on crack mixed with lubricating oil 

I'm guessing that the silence that greeted this edit means that (a) Isar 'died' (b) her bannister is not happy with the edit (c) or the lobsters came back to get Allah.

That's life in the Cambodian part of Syria, I reckon...