Sunday, August 25, 2013

Seymour 'Edits' Again

Seymour -- my pet rock -- is in an ornery mood.  His Arkansas trip is temporarily delayed, and he's antsy to be off.  This put him in a dour frame of mineral.

In perfect time for a Wall Street Journal article on the NSA's domestic spying program.

Seymour's *TOING* was heard probably by my neighbors.

They're getting used to that kind of thing from Seymour these days.

I'm sure that neither the NSA nor WSJ will endorse what's to follow.  Nor, for that matter, will the DNC.  Then again, Seymour doesn't care:

NSA surveillance snoops a bunch of U.S. Internet traffic looking for intelligence: WSJ*

(Rotoreuters) - The National Security Agency's surveillance network is turribly frustrated. The WSJ reports that it has the capacity to reach around 75 percent of all U.S. Internet communications in the hunt for any signs of intelligence in the Democrapic National Crapmittee and their assordid apparatus, the Wall Street Journal reported on Tuesday.

Citing current and former NSA officials, the newspaper said the NSA is so far coming up with not one shred of intelligence anywhere in the DNC. Joe Bidumb's three working brain cells don't rise to the level of detectable by the NSA's snooping apparatus, and that leaves Sheila Jackson Lee, Nancy Bela Pelosi, and Hillary Rodehard Clinton completely off the search radars as they register less, officials have publicly disclosed.

The Journal said the agency keeps hoping that they'll find someone within the DNC that can muster four working brain cells, which is the lowest common detectable level their snooping apparatus can detect.

“We had hoped to get emanations from the White House or Washington press corpse” an anonymous source said, “but if not even Piers Moron and Chris “Tingles” Matthews can be detected at or above the level of Joe 'The Brain' Bidumb, then we're in a stupider state of affairs than we realized”.

The NSA's filtering, carried out with telecom companies, looks for any kind of intelligent life on the left side of the spectrum, in a feeble effort to prop up their current boss, Barry Soetero (or whoever he is), the paper said.

But officials told the Journal the system's focusing on the Left makes it more likely that purely stupid, inane and totally unreadable emanations may and perhaps eventually will result.

In response to a request for comment, NSA said its hunt for intelligent life on the Left is “something akin to trying to find an authentic unicorn. Either we will or we won't. So far, it's a big fat won't”.

The Journal said that these surveillance and intelligence-hunting programs show the NSA works for an abject moron, and has since 2009.

Ed Schultz, a test dummy for the NSA's intelligence seeking apparatus, went undetected, while a termite-infested tree stump registered. 

(Reporting by Sebastian Lipshitz, Editing by Seymour PetRock)

* and 100% of WSJ's after this article...  

Of course, Seymour doesn't have to worry about a nastygram from the NSA or WSJ:  but I'll be more than happy to respond to any from the dumbass-laden DNC.....

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Blogger Sandee said...

Great job Seymour. You've nailed this very nicely. I knew you would because you are a brilliant rock.

Sorry about your trip to Arkansas being delayed. I know you've been working on your drawl.

Have a rocktastic day. My best to your human. :)

25 August, 2013 10:17  
Blogger Right Truth said...

"in search of intelligence" ...

In Washington? A rare commodity. Especially in the Oval Office

Right Truth

27 August, 2013 16:39  
Blogger Serena said...

That Seymour's a pretty good editor. Who knew?! Now we need to work on getting him to Arkansas before his poor heart breaks and starts dropping pebbles.

27 August, 2013 18:21  

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