How Many Kinds of Dating?

I think it's good that I'm too poor to be dating these days.

Or mebbe I'm just chickensh*t.  My pet rock, Seymour, suggests it's more of the latter than the former.

In the past three weeks, I have saved (as opposed to sh*tcanned, like usual) every email regarding dating that I receive.

I don't mean the scam ones; those I either edit or scambait.  Being called an a-hole by those folks is a trophy I live for.

No, the ones I'm talking about here are the online dating sites and services that expect you to pay to get divorced by way of long term relationships and marriage.

Well, maybe that's not what they mean...that's just what Seymour said is frequently the outcome.

There speaks a bitter rock when it comes to his carbondating experiences of late.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT!!!"

Here's the deal:  in the past three weeks, I have received email 'offers' from E-Harmony; It's Just Lunch; Zoosk; Match.com; Facebook, Hi 5 and Fubar.  I've received emails offering me the opportunity to join groups for military dating. Christian dating.  Jewish dating.  Russian dating.  Asian dating.  Black dating.  Geek dating.  Dating liberals (perish the thought).  Dating conservatives.  Dating libertarians.  Dating millionaire/sses.  Dating golfers.  Dating over 50.  Dating under 50s who want to date over 50s.  Dating married folk who want to cheat.  Dating singles who want to get married so that they CAN cheat.

I think there might have actually been a solicitation for dating store window dummies and illegal aliens.  If there wasn't as yet, someone, somewhere, is putting together an online service for it.

For fun, I signed up for this Hi 5 thing under one of my scambaiting characters, just to see what kind of responses I'd draw.  My profile pic?  Well, here's what they accepted:

Rather amusing, because I tried to submit this picture first, and they wouldn't accept it:

At any rate, my 'character' -- with his picture as the Noid -- is on Hi 5.  And since I got there, I've received a couple dozen solicitations.

A few don't have a picture; most of them do.  A few claim that they look like this:

A few actually post pictures like this:

Hubba hubba, eh?

Of course, those who've contacted my character with the picture of the Noid send me messages like this:

"Hey...Ever textf**ked online?"

And all this time, I thought a real non-starter in barlight dating scenes was a line like "I forgot my phone number...can I have yours?"

Oh well...as I said, I'm too poor to be dating these days.  And with some of the responses my 'character' is getting....Seymour's not wrong there, either.