Monday, February 4, 2013

"that not what i send u"

The poor kitty didn't get what he ordered.

The poor email scammer didn't send what I received.  That's 'cuz I rewrote it, and sent it back to him and 50 + of his friends and colleagues.

They didn't reply.  He bothered to.

A fool scammer, indeed.

What Ghazawan  Aladdin sent me was a request to work with him on moving about $20 million from his Bank of Africa branch in Burkina Faso, to my bank in the USA...which he'd then come over and share with me. 

Uh huh.

I didn't order that carrot, either.  But apparently he found what I dun to his email, Ma, a bit harder to digest that Mr. Kitty found that carrot:

I NEED YOUR ASSISTANT INTO THIS TRANSACTION

FROM Mr.Ghazawan Aladdin.
The Head of Defile Department
BANK OF AFRICANS
Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso ( West Africa )

CONFIDENTIAL IS THE CASE. VERY URGENT ATTENTION.

This message might meet you in utmost surprise, however, it's just my Urgent need for your assistant that made me to contact you for this transaction. I am a cannibal by profession from Burkina Faso in West Africa and currently without anyone to cannibal.

I had the opportunity of eating my last assistant, but she become wise to me and ran away with the tribal witch doctor, who is vaginarian.  I'm not sure she knows what that means, but eh...I am now without dinner.
I had tried to have my assistant line up my client at Bank of Africans, along with his entire family, but they died when their Yugo was killed in a plane crash with a flight of geese over Senegal.

I never like geese after that. 
Anyway, I am hungry, and that is why I need your assistant.  If your assistant is young, edible, and tastes great while being less filling, I will pay you very good for this.  All expenses incurred by you in this transaction will be deducted from special United Nations "World Without Hunger" fund that I am sure exists because I read about it on The Daily Kos.  
I will expect you to send to me your assistant soonest, with minimal seasoning, please.  As soon as the transfer is over and I receive your ready-to-eat assistant, I will send you $1,000,000 USD in food stamp credits, redeemable at liquor stores, strip clubs and casinos for further compensation to you for sending me your assistant to eat.
Please I want you to understand that a stitch in time saves nine so write back and tell me if you really want to carry out this transaction with me.

I sincerely need your help because this might be my first and last opportunity of eating a really good assistant. I also would want you to treat this affair as both urgent, top secret and confidential.  Don't let KFC or McDonalds in on my special diet.


(FILL THIS FORM BELLOW PLEASE AND RESEND IT TO ME).

Your name in full.......................... ........
Your country....................... ..................
Your age........................... ....................
Your cell phone......................... ...........
Your occupation.................... ...............
Your assistant's sex........................... ....................
Your assistant's size, weight, age..................
Your assistant's culinary status........................ ........
If your assistant tastes like chicken or not.......................... ..........

Best Regards,
Mr.Ghazawan Aladdin
a fine young cannibal


And it was to that that my fine distinguished scammer. Mr. Aladdin, responded with his pithy "that not what i send u".

To which I responded really?  Then why is this what I got?  Explain this, please, without the condiments on the side.

Mr. Aladdin didn't catch that last "see what I just did there"; he just re-sent me his original email.  Which I copied and sent back to him, as above, along with a see, this is what you sent me the first time, too. 

Mr. Aladdin then compounded his error by asking me why u send this other persons?  I would have thought the answer to that was obvious, but I went ahead to explain it to him:  so you won't starve.  Out of all the people this went to, there has to be at least one who has an assistant they're willing to feed to you.

That was apparently enough for Ghazawan Aladdin to digest.

Yum yum.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahaha. I love how you twist all this around. I love it a lot.

Have a terrific day. Seymour says hello. ☺

04 February, 2013 08:40  
Blogger Right Truth said...

CONFIDENTIAL IS THE CASE. VERY URGENT ATTENTION.

When someone uses all caps, it makes it sooooo much more legit, ha.

Nice font too.

Debbie
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

04 February, 2013 15:34  

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