Yakety Yak II

Another 'Russian' scam.  Another reply in the vein of Yakety Yak (I).

I found it 'humerus' (not the bone, unless it's the funny bone); the scammer, not so much.  More on that presently.

I present to you only the opening two paragraphs of this latest 'Russian' gambit, in that the scammer had an admonition that I found particularly amusing.  See if you see it:

THE RUSSIAN FOUNDATION FOR BASIC RESEARCH

The Russian Foundation for basic research would like to notify you that you have been chosen by the board of trustees as one of the final recipients of a cash Grant/Donation for your personal,educational,and business development.Kindly note that you will only be chosen to receive these donation once,which means that subsequent yearly donation will not get to you again.

Do ensure you spend this donation wisely on something will last you a long time. Recipients are only eligible to be awarded this donation once.You are required to contact the Executive Secretary below, for qualification document you will be given your donation pin number,which you will use in collecting the funds. Please endeavor to quote your Qualification numbers ( N-222-6647, E-910-56 ) in all discussions.

Not every scammer I've ever come across has admonished me to "ensure you spend this donation wisely on something will last you a long time".  In fact, in 13 years of this crap..er...craft, none has ever so tasked me.

I felt I should work an expression of appreciation for such a thoughtful admonition into my scam re-write, under the auspices of "it's the thought that counts".

I think I forgot:

RUSSIAN FOUNDATION FOR ARTIFICIAL YAK INSEMINATION


The Russian Foundation for Artificial Yak Insemination would like to notify you that you have been

chosen by a large, randy herd of horny yak, as one of those they most want to be artificially

inseminated by!




 

In Russia, this is great honor, yes?  We drink much vodka toasts to eternal artificial yak



insemination!

Kindly note that you have only be chosen to receive these honor because the majority of yaks in



herd selected you by a voice vote. 

How you ask we determine this?  Very easy:  we post pictures of you and 25 other possible



candidates in front of the yak herd, and the picture getting most yak versions of "mooooooooooo"



win!!

It was you who get most "mooooo".

This great honor in Russian Siberia, and we demand that you accept in the spirit of good will and




artificial yak insemination furtherance of detente and glasnost and other Americanski verbiage




which we Russians cannot understand because we speak and write in cyrillic sh**.

    Do ensure you artificially inseminate this yak herd wisely because artificially inseminated Russian       Siberian yak have long memories for perfunctory ejaculation.  Recipients are only eligible to be       awarded this very big Russian honor once, unless we have no takers, then we offer it to you again.        And again...and again....and f**king one more timeski again.  Krastni!

You are demanded to contact the Executive Secretary of the First Russian Federation's Siberian

Artificial Yak Insemination Committee, for qualification document and special pass you will require

on Russian National Railroad, to make trip to Siberia to meet your anxiously awaiting herd of...how

shall I say...very horny yak!!

One is even named 'Lipshun', and has a special treat for you!  As do 'Olga', 'Marykova', 'Anastasia',

'Trina', 'Ekatrina', and two dozen more who swoon at the very sight of your picture, and what you're




going to do to them.

Please endeavor to quote your Qualification numbers ( N-222-6647, E-910-56 ) in all discussions.

You are demanded to assist in the documentation of this special Russian honor we give you by filling

the requested information stated in the form below.


We demand that you are thorough with all required information.


ARTIFICIAL YAK INSEMINATION DOCUMENTATION FORM:


FULL NAMES:

ADDRESS:

NATIONALITY:

STATE:

COUNTRY:

TEL:

FAX:

AGE/DATE OF BIRTH:

HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX WITH A YAK BEFORE:

IF NO, WHY NOT?:





MARITAL STATUS:




OCCUPATION:





IN A BRIEF EXPLANATION, TELL US HOW HONORED YOU ARE TO HAVE RECEIVED THIS





MOST HIGH RUSSIAN AWARD FROM THE PEOPLE'S YAK HERD "BABUSHKA":


Executive Secretary: Boris Brianski Millavic
Email: barr.b.millavic2010@admin.in.th

Regards.
Mr.Viktor 'Svetlana' Malcovich (I used to be man, but angry yak ripped my penisski off, and now I am a faux woman until I get my virgin yak vagina next monthski). 

Oh yes...I got a reply.  It was not exactly what I was expecting:

no make funny of this.  you are disqualify.

For some reason, I am not sorry that I am 'disqualify':

So I won't get to meet a yak named Olga?  Eh...life goes on.

But not this email exchange...