Does The UN Know?

*Note:  if you're a big fan of the UN, and think it can do no wrong, you ain't gonna like this post*

For the past several years, email scammers have crafted  and recirculated a ploy that tells recipients they are entitled to compensation from a UN program for victims of online scams.

LOL. 

Scammers:  using the UN to further their fleecing.
Not that the UN doesn't do some fleecing of its own.  But I digress.

Anyway, I recently received yet another effort to give me the business via a compensation offer from the UN, Federal Republic of Nigeria, and the FBI.

Yes, you read that correctly.

I'll not bore you with their email.  Instead, I'll bore you with what I dun widdit:

From: United Nations Mistrust Hundfotts <info@united.com>
To:
Sent: Thursday, September 6, 2012 5:45 AM
Subject: BENEFICERARY

 United Nations Mistrust Hundfotts
 Democlusterf**k Embassy Nigeria Department of Horses Hangdowns
 Palais des Nations CH-1211 Geneva 10
 Federal Repugnant Of Nigeria
 50 Westminster Bridge Road Scheisterland

 BENEFICERARY,

The United Nations Mistrust Hundfotts Program (UNMHP), in conjunction with a few loosely-connected internet cafes replete with sh**heads of dubious antecedence and bowel inclinations, have violated small furry animals for the past 10 years, and found out why you have not joined us in this perverse sexual practice.

It is because you do not understand.

You have not fulfilled the obligation given to you in respect of your requirement by us to join us in the sodomous violation of small furry animals. 

Secondly we have been inform that you are still refusing to deal with our officials in the Nigerian House of Sodomy, which is making our task more difficult. 

We wish to advise you that such an illegal act like these have to stop that if you wish to not suddenly have pictures show up to your wife, your employer, and to all your friends, of you having sodomous relations with a marmot, you will immediately cease your resistance to our efforts and you will conform to our dictates.  See what we just did there?  Neither do we.

Mr. President Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (GCFR) has gone to great personal pains -- and he has the bite marks on his penis to prove it -- to make a "how to" video for you, on the steps necessary to sodomize small furry animals.  Our Federal Republic Of Nigeria is prepared to work with your FBI in WASHINGTON DC, to bring you into line with this UN program.

We plan to exploit more people with this program as we get the UN to support our sodomy objectives for not just small furry animals, but larger ones, too.  This promotion is just one various ways we are presently using to achieve this global vision of ours, and bringing sodomy of all things animal to the world.  Our UN is in the forefront of this effort, and we are forever grateful to have such sick bastards there to show us the way, and in turn, we will bring you to see the light.

 You are to contact our Sodomy of Small Furry Animals Center, to schedule your initiation into this very UN-perverse practice.  You contact the person below, please: _______________________________________________
 Dr.Ernest John.
 E-mail:  atmcardclaims1@aol.com
 Phone +234-809-4189-189  (call him anytime, day or night; he's still recovering from having his winkee bitten off by an unwilling fruit bat)

When contacting the claims Officer you should include the following:

Full Name:
Phone and Fax Number:
What small furry animal you want your first sodomy experience with:
Your Age, Last Time You Had Sex With A Sock Puppet, and Current Occupation:
Country:

The Sodomy Of Small Furry Animals Center has been mandated to issue out whatever small furry animal you request.  It will be live-shipped via UPS to the address you provide.  If it arrives dead, sodomize it and take pictures, so you can prove you've done what the UN and we require of you.

Also for your information, You have to stop any further communications with any one from the Democratic National Committee; sodomizing Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, while akin to doing a marmot, is not qualified under the UN dictates.  Besides, she'll give you crotch crickets.  We're just sayin'....

Special greetings from the entire Staffs of United Nations Sodomy Of Small Furry Animals Department
Signed,
Ban Mai Phat Moon
(UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY GENERAL and practiced small furry animal sodomizer since '05)

As one scammer wrote back to tell me -- Andreas Davillas (or so he calls himself) -- I have no shame:

r u shame of u?  u should b.  un is good.

Should I be "shame of me"?  Mebbe.  I address it thus:

I have pencilled in a moment of shame for me to feel about this on November 23, 2035.  And perhaps by then you can tell me just what the un is good for.

He apparently doesn't want to have to explain that:

f*k u

I do hope you're not planning to compete in a spelling bee anytime soon.

I think that hurt his feewings...or an unwilling fruit bat got his winkee, too.