Quantum Horsefeathers

I suspect that science -- or at least, some scientists -- just lurve peeing in Hollyweird's tofu.
And not just Hollyweirds.

From the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, comes the revelation that Albert Einstein was right: you can't make a bagel travel back in time.

Claiming to have proved that time travel is impossible, a team of researchers at the aforementioned university -- whose credibility is lacking amongst scholars who hale from universities where binge drinking took up all their free time -- say that they have proved Einstein's theory that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light.

Using a single photon -- because a married one has too much baggage -- they claim to have proved that this unit of light "obeys the traffic law of the universe", and cannot exceed the speed of light.

This means, according to the Hong Kongians, that time travel is a scientific impossibility.

I mean...WTF?

No Quantum Leaping; no warp speed whiplashes around the Sun; no 88 mph back 'n forths in a 1.21 jiggawatted DeLorean; no Time Tunnel, no magnetic storms at sea hijacking aircraft carriers, Guardians perpetually awaiting "a question", or cyborgs from the future, open to learning hip phrases and wrecking about everything else.

Not even a chance to send Grandma's oft-regifted fruitcake back to the Stone Age, only to find it as one of the foundation blocks in one of the Egyptian pyramids.

Only in Hollyweird or literature, can time travel "be".

Man, this sucks.

I was all set to unveil to the world my newest invention: a time machine that allowed one to travel back in time to observe actual events as they really happened, but not interact with them and screw up history or today.

And dang it all, them darn fool Hong Kongians claim it doesn't work.

Eh...they're way better educated than me, so they're probably right. I'm sure that my first test case 'time traveller' -- my pet rock, Seymour -- didn't really go anywhere in that cloud of smoke.
On the other hand, he ain't back yet...