How "Coud" I -- Part II

No, this is not a post that is picking on the Clintons.

But the particular photo shop h'yar fits what's to come. In my last installment, I introduced you to Faith Jama, alleged 'refugee' in Senegal, whose daddy left millions in a bank somewhere, that she needed a foreigner -- aka, me -- to help her get to, after which she'd come to me and we'd live happily ever after.

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZER* And then along came my scam letter re-writes, and I was told to not communicate with Faith any more, as we ended the last blog post. And you and I both thought that that was the end of the story...

As y'all know, after I've rewritten a scam email, I retain that scammer's address and send other rewrites to it until it goes bad. And most of them eventually are disabled, closed, or abandoned (they fill up to the point it can accept no more mail). So jama.faith@yahoo.com began to receive the rewrites of those who followed her.

This went on for two days after I last heard from Faith. Until the other morning, when I got this from Faith Jama, alleged female refugee in Senegal:

Email Title: BLOOD DAYS

WHO IS THIS DEATH MAN THAT WANT TO F*** WITH THE PRINCE OF DAKAR WELL YOU CAN CALL ME AND LET ME KNOW YOU, F*** TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF.

Faith Jama is the 'Prince of Dakar'??? Faith -- the alleged chick -- is a 'prince'?

Even those of you thousands of miles away, had to have heard the *TOING* that I did.

Never one to miss an opportunity to further a bait when a 'blood days gauntlet' is thrown down, I did indeed want to f*** with whomever:

Oooooh, ebu mama gi gi (an African insult of some kind), beeyotch. Ukulele unga bunga bunga! I invite you, prince of f***ing Dakar, to try me. You hapless Third World moron! Go ahead...try your worst, Poodle Lips.

And with that, the email 'fight' was on, as "Faith" responded back with an exact duplicate of the email I had just received. So I changed up the reply:

You are going to be an absolute PLEASURE to f*** with, Prince/Princess Wanker. Prepare to be f***ed with like you never dun been afore, cretin!

"Faith" responds by calling me "Jew Man" in the title, and:

let me tell you this life and next will can never be type, you are f***ing with the wrong? well go and look for you type, do not f*** with me, do u have money Big JEW

I'm sure you followed that like I did. Now it was time to give my inner four year old crayons and a nice big white wall to play wid:

Whatever money I have, you're too f***ing backward and childishly INEPT to ever get it. I will F*** with you because there is NOT ONE THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. You are totally incapable of carrying out any threat you can make or manage to spell. You are a child, a wuss, you are absolutely less than nothing. Is someone reading this to you that understands English? I don't want you to miss a syllable here. At any rate, keep making threats, Punky Brewster. Soggy toilet paper would have no worries from you.

The gauntlet's down...what will "Faith" come up with next? What he -- yes, I said HE -- comes up with next, has me laughing my ass off:

Jew man can you come online do you have cam let us reason, add me kelvin_isi@yahoo.com

So, "Faith" is actually a "Kelvin", eh? I know where this is headed, in the mind of my inner four year old:

Hope you know what you're letting yourself in for, pussy mama. You're a guy who played being a woman? MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!

Faith/Kelvin has a thin skin:

stop talking like a fool and dont call me pussy just add me

What Faith/Kelvin wanted was to 'chat' with me using the Yahoo Chat feature in the email. So I "added" him, and from there it really went downhill, as Faith/Kelvin alternated between (a) threats (b) asking me to work with 'it' (c) admitting his job was as a scammer for a group (d) begging me for money and (e) getting mad because I kept referring to him as "pussy".

One of the short, funny moments in the chat (his in bold, mine in italics):

where is iowa (he pestered me about where I was, so I told him where my character's profile was listed)

You don't know where Iowa is?

no where is iowa

You've got a computer, pussy, look it up!

stop call me pussy no time to look up

You pussy moron, you have time to chat, you have time to look up where Iowa is.

*after a couple minutes*

iowa in US?

Well, DUH..yeah. Why? You gonna come?

i can fly iowa and make you sry

You imbecilic pussy moron, you can't even find your way out of Senegal!

why you call me pussy stop

You don't like pussy but you're okay with moron?

what is moron

It's you, pussy

STOP!!

I can't stop you from being a pussy moron..it's too late.

And another short thread that left Faith/Kelvin sputtering:

why can i no see u (my Yahoo Chat icon was set to 'invisible', and obviously this twit doesn't know how to do that)

Who cares? I see you. You see me when I reply. What the f*** is the matter with you, pussy moron?

i tell u no call me pussy

Yeah, and you told me you were Faith Jama, too, pussy.

stop b4 u get in touble

Me? Get in touble with you, pussy? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....dang, you should be a f***ing comedian, Pussy Moron.

STOP

What are you, a f***ing stop sign?

u talk not sence to me..i want do busness with u

I don't do business with pussy morons.

i no pussy

You pussy moron.

why u insut me

because you're a pussy moron, and a lying scamming sack of sh**.

i have frends u know who can make u sry

All you do is make me laugh, pussy moron.

stop pls not pussy

You're a pussy moron to me, Pussy Moron. That's your name I gave you on Yahoo Chat (and when he comes on line, that's what shows up on my end LOL).

u r big Jew Man f*** u

Is that the best you can do, Pussy Moron?

i no pussy

And on, and on...for about 20 minutes, before he finally got exasperated enough to log out of Yahoo Chat.

The next morning, who's icon is displayed in Yahoo Chat when I log in? Uh huh: Pussy Moron.

So I sent him a solid page-worth of "pussy moron" to let him know I was in the Yahoo Chat house.

And he promptly logged off. I have that affect on scammers.

Yeah, I know: my inner four year old is mean. And has a lot of crayoned wall to be washed off. But I don't mind ;-)