IRS r Scammed

You'll pardon the acronym, but WTF: I have received the very same scam letter now a total of four times this week.

One that purports to be from...*drum roll*..the IRS.

Which it could be, I suppose, what with dumbed-down educational substandards in the DC area schools, which is also where the HQ of the IRS resides.

What, you say? I'm daring to call the IRS "dumbed down"? Well, certainly whoever is sending out the very same email, is.

Anyway, I won't go to the work to show you the whole format as I keep receiving it; but here's what it says, in it's own syntax and grammar:

Department of Treasury Internal Revenue Source (and there's an authentic-looking IRS icon to go widdit). Important information about your tax return

We are unable to process your tax return (mine was processed months ago, but who's counting?)

We recived your tax return. However, we are unable to process the return as field. Our records indicated that the person identifiedas the primary taxpayer or spouse on the tax return did not provided all the required documents shown on the tax form. Our records are based on information received from the Social Security Administration. Based on this information, the tax account for the individual has been locked

What you need to do

Print out the attached notification and list of missing documents (which is attached to the email as a zip.file, which I steadfastly refuse to open, in case of any virus crap therein), fill it in, add the documents and send the following information to the adress shown in the attached notification.

List of required documents:

1. A copy of this letter

2. Notification letter (again, the unexamined zip.file)

3. A photocopy of valid U.S. Federal or State Government issued identification.

Keep this notice for your records. If you need assistance, please don't hesitate to contact us

Alrighty then. If this WERE an authentic email from the IRS -- *chortle snort guffaw* -- the proofers are morons. But since this email -- in three out of the four times I've received it thus far -- isn't addressed specifically to me, *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*.

And it's fair game for rewriting and sending back to the source and an assortment of other scammers whose addresses still accept abuse from my counterattacking address.

The following example is not my best of the four; but I reckon it'll get the point across to you readers, if not to the moronic scammers:

Department Of Treasury Infernal Revenue Sots

Irrelevant information about your tax return

We are unable to process your tax return

We received your tax return. However, we are unable to process the return because you filled the f***ing thing out in a foreign language and, gawdammit, this America, not some Third World craphole. A valid 1040 form is filled out in f***ing ENGLISH, you moron. Our records indicate that the person identified as the primary taxpayer or spouse on the tax return has the intellect of a termite-infested tree stump, and may be named Kelvin from Senegal (one of the copied email scammers you've read about recently), also known in scam circles as Faith Jama, a chick widda dick. And the forms provided did not clarify this fact, let alone provide authentication of dual sexuality. Our records are based on information received from the Senegal Ministry of Revenue and Gender Oddities in the Species Cross-Mating Department. Based on this information, the tax account for the individual has been locked.

What you need to do

Pull your head out of your Third World unwiped ass, print out the attached notification and list of missing documents, fill it in, add the documents and send the following information to the Senegal Ministry of Revenue.

List of required documents:

1. A copy of this letter

2. Notification letter

3. A photocopy of valid Senegal Government issued identification

4. Proof of gender

5. Proof of species

6. Proof of vertebrate mammal

7. Proof that Registrant has three working brain cells

8. Proof that Uranus is not your home planet

9. Proof that you don't have penile-eating crotch crickets from sex with three peckered goats

10. Proof that you can f***ing understand one word of this sh**11. Proof that Dr. Samuel Okoronji (another copied scammer who I abuse regularly) doesn't have vaginal warts in his sinus passages

12. Proof that all the scammers this is sent to can actually read one word of this sh**

13. Proof that anyone noticed #10 and #12 are redundant

14. Proof that any recipient knows what redundant means

Keep this notice for your records. If you need assistance..oh, WTF..it's obvious from reading this that your sorry ass needed assistance from the f***ing day you were hatched. Don't call us, call Dr. f***ing Ruth or Dr. f***ing Phil, since your ass is well beyond help of normal folks. Contact someone who f***ing cares at kelvin_isi@yahoo.com (one of my regularly abused scammers who you've read about, and learned what death threats get one who makes them).

Perhaps this is some kind of a scammer-a-thon: keep sending me the same scam email, and see how long I'll keep rewriting it differently and sending it back.

I have only just begun to rewrite h'yar...