Friday, April 11, 2008

Vocabulary Builder -- VII


Which brings into question just how "lucky" the number seven truly is, but I digress.
So while Igor (pronounced "Eye-gor") points out the source from whenst vocabulary builders are hatched to become verbiage omelettes, let's get on with further slaughterage of the Americanized English lexicon:

Digress:
- wander really far afield from the original point, if there ever really was one to stick to
- change the color of your gress
- a gress that became road kill on the syntax super spellcheck
Aquifer:
- a route water prefers
- mermaid poon
- rock or soil able to transfer water
Diva:
- Italian meaning "dump"
- Italian meaning "prima donna"
- Italian meaning "taka the submarine down, and mama mia, close the hatches this time"

Earthenware:
- environmentally-friendly thong (may not be for the eyes, tho')
- pottery
- question from a German-speaking alien
Groats:
- something disgusting
- farm animals that butt folks from behind
- crushed grain

Eclectic:
- transmitting electricity through a pastry
- an electrifying evangelical
- deriving ideas from varied sources

Reckon:
- the whole language, one word at a time...
- USMC meaning "the git-out-and-find-'em fellers"
- to calculate

Ignis fatuus:
- Latin meaning "gentlemen, start your fat asses and get to work"
- Latin meaning "a fart lighter"
- Latin meaning "a foolish fire"

Factorage:
- pissed off fractions
- the chronology of factor
- pay for a business agent that doesn't include graft, embezzlement, cooking the books, etc.
Desertification:
- various categories of desertion
- making ice cream
- process of making a desert

Holstein:
- Bavarian beer mug
- a milk cow
- Bavarian beer mug that looks like a milk cow

Kidderminster:
- cathedral for pranksters
- government agency in charge of officially-sanctioned humor (ie., Baghdad Bob)
- reversible carpet
Pith:
- as in "oh...."
- physical strength
- urinating while making a "th" sound

Lollygag:
- loiter
- cloning around
- a really lousy sucker

Laxative:
- a directive with little umph
- a substance that gives the bowels mucho umph
- inclination to being laid back with no umph
Jiggery-pokery:
- porcupine sex
- dishonesty
- something Dr. Ruth talked about, but no one could understand vhat zhe vuz zayingk..
Malady:
- your gal
- a redundant observation about your mother
- a disease

Obfuscate:
- hockey maneuver
- mathematical hypotenus that postulates that pi r squared, when any danged fool kin see the friggin' thang is round
- to confuse

Naturopathy:
- treat a disease without drugs
- an unpaved path through a pasture, littered with meadow muffins
- natural indifference

Umbiferous:
- providing shade
- throws up a lot
- hesitates before throwing up a lot

Pro rata:
- Latin meaning "professional snitch"
- Latin meaning "according to the rate"
- Latin meaning "Ettu, Brutus, you dirty rat"
Salmonella:
- tasty dish that's brought up a lot (ducking boos, throwd items and sympathetic reflex reactions)
- bacterial food poisoning
-hitman for a NY crime family

Summa cum laude:
- Latin meaning "highest standard"
- Latin meaning "a summer thunderstorm"
- Latin meaning "I think she's past breathing hard"
Spitchcock:
- Alfred
- a male nightmare
- a split-fried eel

Tableau:
- French meaning "socially unacceptable"
- French meaning "picturesque"
- French meaning "an Islamofascist suicide bomber disguised as a carbonated beverage"
Thence:
- a former fence
- past tense of "the"
- for that reason

Venetian:
- a native of Venice
- a blind native of Venice
- a blinds maker native to Venice

Wake:
- what you have to do to hit the 'snooze' button
- celebration of a dead person
- debris left behind celebrants if the dead person wakes up and joins them

Yo-ho:
- used to solicit in some venues
- used to attract attention
- saying something akin got Don Imus fired briefly

Yowl:
- loud wailing cry
- loud wailing cry that the utterer wasn't sure how to spell
- exclamation when hit by low-flying owl
Zeitgeist:
- exclamation when confronted by unexpected geist
- spirit that drops in and zeits a spell
- spirit of the times
Sum:
-Redneck meaning "that sky ball that makes it light and hot"
- Redneck meaning "ah got sum; howz 'bout y'all?"
- Sumthing mathematical

Pantaloon:
- a screwy duck in your pants
- pants worn by a character in an Italian comedy
- pantless obscene phone caller
Udopia:
- an imagined perfect place
- an imagined perfect place for morons out of touch with reality
- an autobiography of a drug user-turned-evangelist, that winds up featured on Oprah Winfrey's Book of the Month Club, makes millions, and winds up being a complete fabrication...DOH!

I think my dictionary's melting...

6 Comments:

Blogger Herb said...

Looks like you had a vowel movement on your page...

12 April, 2008 05:10  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Hoib: yeah, it gets weird with some column saves...double spaces when I wanted single spacing...triple spacing when I wanted double...or just flat mixes 'em all to generally annoy me ;)

12 April, 2008 18:11  
Blogger Jack K. said...

It is easy to understand why it would melt. How are the keyboard and computer doing?

12 April, 2008 20:13  
Blogger Debbie said...

I tagged you for a meme

http://righttruth.typepad.com/right_truth/2008/04/my-epitaph-agai.html

12 April, 2008 20:53  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

More words. There's even words you actually use in this one.

13 April, 2008 19:40  
Blogger Mike said...

Interesting post. I use flashcards approach to learn up to 50 new words per day. Flashcards are always with me - in queue, bus, shop. To build cards I use Accelebrain

02 January, 2012 20:40  

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