Vocabulary Builder -- VII

Which brings into question just how "lucky" the number seven truly is, but I digress.

So while Igor (pronounced "Eye-gor") points out the source from whenst vocabulary builders are hatched to become verbiage omelettes, let's get on with further slaughterage of the Americanized English lexicon:

Digress:

- wander really far afield from the original point, if there ever really was one to stick to

- change the color of your gress

- a gress that became road kill on the syntax super spellcheck

Aquifer:

- a route water prefers

- mermaid poon

- rock or soil able to transfer water

Diva:

- Italian meaning "dump"

- Italian meaning "prima donna"

- Italian meaning "taka the submarine down, and mama mia, close the hatches this time"

Earthenware:

- environmentally-friendly thong (may not be for the eyes, tho')

- pottery

- question from a German-speaking alien

Groats:

- something disgusting

- farm animals that butt folks from behind

- crushed grain

Eclectic:

- transmitting electricity through a pastry

- an electrifying evangelical

- deriving ideas from varied sources

Reckon:

- the whole language, one word at a time...

- USMC meaning "the git-out-and-find-'em fellers"

- to calculate

Ignis fatuus:

- Latin meaning "gentlemen, start your fat asses and get to work"
- Latin meaning "a fart lighter"

- Latin meaning "a foolish fire"

Factorage:

- pissed off fractions

- the chronology of factor

- pay for a business agent that doesn't include graft, embezzlement, cooking the books, etc.

Desertification:

- various categories of desertion

- making ice cream

- process of making a desert

Holstein:

- Bavarian beer mug

- a milk cow

- Bavarian beer mug that looks like a milk cow

Kidderminster:

- cathedral for pranksters

- government agency in charge of officially-sanctioned humor (ie., Baghdad Bob)

- reversible carpet

Pith:

- as in "oh...."

- physical strength

- urinating while making a "th" sound

Lollygag:

- loiter

- cloning around

- a really lousy sucker

Laxative:

- a directive with little umph

- a substance that gives the bowels mucho umph
- inclination to being laid back with no umph

Jiggery-pokery:

- porcupine sex

- dishonesty

- something Dr. Ruth talked about, but no one could understand vhat zhe vuz zayingk..

Malady:

- your gal

- a redundant observation about your mother

- a disease

Obfuscate:

- hockey maneuver

- mathematical hypotenus that postulates that pi r squared, when any danged fool kin see the friggin' thang is round

- to confuse

Naturopathy:

- treat a disease without drugs
- an unpaved path through a pasture, littered with meadow muffins
- natural indifference

Umbiferous:

- providing shade

- throws up a lot

- hesitates before throwing up a lot

Pro rata:

- Latin meaning "professional snitch"

- Latin meaning "according to the rate"

- Latin meaning "Ettu, Brutus, you dirty rat"

Salmonella:

- tasty dish that's brought up a lot (ducking boos, throwd items and sympathetic reflex reactions)

- bacterial food poisoning
-hitman for a NY crime family

Summa cum laude:

- Latin meaning "highest standard"

- Latin meaning "a summer thunderstorm"

- Latin meaning "I think she's past breathing hard"

Spitchcock:

- Alfred

- a male nightmare

- a split-fried eel

Tableau:

- French meaning "socially unacceptable"

- French meaning "picturesque"

- French meaning "an Islamofascist suicide bomber disguised as a carbonated beverage"

Thence:

- a former fence

- past tense of "the"

- for that reason

Venetian:

- a native of Venice

- a blind native of Venice

- a blinds maker native to Venice

Wake:

- what you have to do to hit the 'snooze' button

- celebration of a dead person

- debris left behind celebrants if the dead person wakes up and joins them

Yo-ho:

- used to solicit in some venues

- used to attract attention

- saying something akin got Don Imus fired briefly

Yowl:

- loud wailing cry

- loud wailing cry that the utterer wasn't sure how to spell

- exclamation when hit by low-flying owl

Zeitgeist:

- exclamation when confronted by unexpected geist

- spirit that drops in and zeits a spell

- spirit of the times

Sum:

-Redneck meaning "that sky ball that makes it light and hot"

- Redneck meaning "ah got sum; howz 'bout y'all?"

- Sumthing mathematical

Pantaloon:

- a screwy duck in your pants

- pants worn by a character in an Italian comedy
- pantless obscene phone caller

Udopia:

- an imagined perfect place

- an imagined perfect place for morons out of touch with reality

- an autobiography of a drug user-turned-evangelist, that winds up featured on Oprah Winfrey's Book of the Month Club, makes millions, and winds up being a complete fabrication...DOH!

I think my dictionary's melting...