Sunday, March 16, 2008

Vocabulary Builder -- IV


I could blame Serena Joy and Hale McKay for this.


But why bother: all of the verbicidal abnominations and abysmal linguisticides herein are the product of a thrice-concussed, scam-baiting, no-life person of extensive antecedence with next to nothing to show for it. Save for silly photos and abuse of syntax the likes of Sodang and Gidoerit, or some other pseudo thang I just did something weird with.

Of course, this hyar blog is full of such.


So, against better judgement which I've never demonstrated anyway, here's some more words to help you build up your cruciverbalism to a point that no one will care anyway, since they won't understand many of the woids your misusing:

Athwart:
- wart with a lisp
- to cross obliquely
- a booty blemish


Balderic:
- a medieval athletic supporter
- Black Adder's main target of abuse
- a cross-body belt for a sword


Crocodile:
- big ass suitcase-in-waiting, with teeth in the meantime
- an Aussie company you pay to make crank calls for you
- a cheap, knock-off soap


Cantankerous:
- an armored outhouse
- an ass big enough to mount a turret on
- bad tempered


Carillon:
- sweet (ducking boos and throwd items)
- a buzzard buffet
- a tune played on bells


Casus belli:
- Latin meaning "let's go to the forum for dames"
- Latin meaning "that's some beergut, Earl"
- Latin meaning "to precipitate a war"


Ripsnorter:
- a remarkable thing
- when what's left of Michael Jackson's nose implodes
- a charging bull


Fertilize:
- a watering hole where lies and whoppers grow like weeds
- any political campaign 'war room'
- something that, spread around, makes things grow


Centerfold:
- an articulated bus
- Rrrrowrrrr
- the middle of the line gives way


Teriyaki:
- a Godzilla-like critter that ate Kyoto in a really cheeseball movie in the 50s
- Japanese marinated culinary dish
- made Teri sick and she...


Improbity:
-making it up as one goes
- dishonesty
- oops, wrong way widda proctoscope...


Joinder:
- Redneckspeak for "a Yankee-made tractor"
- a former receiver for the San Diego Chargers
- Redneckspeak for "what baling wire and glue dun"


Deadpan:
- a skillet after I tried cooking widdit
- her nickname for the frying pan she uses to dent his haid with
- show no emotion


Phartyr:
- someone immortalized for taking a stand
- someone immortalized for clearing a stand
- I'm screwing with words again



Lampoon:
- lame sex
- to ridicule (could be the above, too)
- lamp sex



Dung:
- sound a bell makes
- for whom the smell tolls
- the end result of cud


Cattleduffer:
- victim of a cowtip
- a cattle rustler
- a cow with a really bad golf game


Lawrencium:
- artificially made transuranic radioactive metallic element (all together now...WTF?)
- museum built for Lawrence Welk memorabilia (bubbles optional)
- Lawrence of Arabia's second cousin, twice removed for drunken flatulence


Martinet:

- a strict disciplinarian
- a Martian munchkin
- that weird dude that pitches the Weed Weasel, or some such...


Campanile:

- some people make tea out of it, but not more than once
- a bell tower
- camp like an Egyptian


Obiter Dictum:

- Latin for "an incidental remark"

- Latin for "a dental faux pas"

- Latin for "She bit your WHAT?"



Peripheral:

- one of those big ass Jurassic birds
- okay, one of those big ass Jurassic cats?
- on the fringe...of one of the above?


Sarong:
- see you rater
- musical parody
- a type of Malaysian clothing


Shriek:
- Ahab the Arab
- what politically correct junkies are doing after reading that
- a green ogre that farts


Satire:
- the first two letters tuckered out
- parody, ridicule, sarcasm
- a tire with a lousy sense of timing


Tequila:
- Mexican for "to kill you"
- Mexican for "to render blonde"
- Mexican for "makes sunrise and sunset non sequitur in sufficient quantities"


Weeble-wobble:
- what one of my former peers called a stumbling drunk
- a weevil that walks funny
- it means whatever you want it to...screw the traditionalists


Hork:

- cry of the yeller-bellied snapsinator
- sound a Muslim makes when he realizes you slipped him pork
- Iowaspeak meaning "to spit a loogie"


Termiflopper:
- Latin meaning "that Viagra's shot"
- Latin meaning "to hang someone"
- non-Latin meaning "not a friggin' thing..I madeth it up"


Verbicide:

- one part verbs, one part nouns, a spritz of vowels and wha la...Vanna White?

- substance used to control linguistic pests (doesn't work on me, tho'...)
- murdering syntax with reckless spellcheck


Incommunicrowdo:
- what happens to adults when they've a houseful of kids and one phone
- pychic communication with a rooster
- a word I abominated and let Charles Harrington Elster borrow for one of his books


Humbug:
- musical Volkswagen
- locust quartet
- nonsense

All the "Mommy, make him stop"s might...if you pay me enough...

8 Comments:

Blogger Herb said...

Ya know, I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have a smart guy like you for a friend. Probably someone else's blog. Bye.

16 March, 2008 05:17  
Anonymous Phoenix said...

LMAO you had me at "Obiter Dictum"... giggle ;-)

16 March, 2008 13:16  
Blogger Hale McKay said...

LOL Skunk! Classic - just classic!

I agree with Phoenix, orbiter dictum was a gut buster.

This will surely grace the halls of VT next week.

16 March, 2008 20:22  
Blogger Little Lamb said...

Oh go on and blame Serena Joy and Hale McKay. :-) You know you want to. ;-)

16 March, 2008 21:07  
Blogger Stacy said...

I believe I've experienced all three (well, maybe only had a brush with the first one) definitions for tequila.

18 March, 2008 08:29  
Blogger Two Dogs said...

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

18 March, 2008 13:40  
Blogger Jack K. said...

Just lurking today.

snerx!

19 March, 2008 08:11  
Blogger Serena Joy said...

Total gems, every one.:)

20 March, 2008 17:34  

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